Page 117 of Children of Virtue and Vengeance

“Did I do something wrong?” Roën tries to touch my hand, but I pullit back. I scramble to the far wall, putting as much space between us as I can.

Everything I fight forces its way out, spinning out of my control. I hear Mâzeli’s voice. I feel Inan’s touch. I smell Baba’s blood as it pours out of his chest.

“I’m sorry.” Roën steps away, fear creeping over the confusion on his face. I feel the part of me that wants to explain, but I keep it inside. The last time someone was this close to my heart, he didn’t just stab me in the back. He took the people I love. He left me with wounds that will never heal.

“You should go,” I whisper.

“What’s going on?” Roën’s brows crease. “Talk to me. We don’t have to do anything.Zïtsol, that’s not why I care about you—”

“Well, I don’t care about you!” The words sting coming out of my mouth. But I know it’s all I have. The only weapon that can keep Roën away.

“You’re just a mercenary.” I shake my head. “Just a monster for hire. At least Inan was a king. At least hebelievedin something!”

The look on Roën’s face cuts deeper than any other blade I’ve experienced. For once, I don’t see his armor. Only the boy who let me in.

“I don’t care about you.” My breath shakes with every word. “I never could. Just go.”

His face turns to stone as he walks out the door. When it closes behind him, I hug my chest, falling to the floor. I clasp a hand to my mouth, trying to stifle the sound of my sobs.

The silence around me burns more than the memory of the scars on my back.

CHAPTER SIXTY-SIX

AMARI

WARM RAYS HEATmy back, jarring me from sleep. I mumble Tzain’s name, reaching for him as I rub my eyes. My nose wrinkles when I look around, searching for the tiled walls of my elder quarters. It’s as if I’ve been stolen in the night.

All that surrounds me now are reeds.

“What in the skies…”

I run my fingers over the stalks, the feathery leaves tickling my hand. Tall daffodils sprout between the reeds, peppering the endless field with yellow.

I cannot figure out where I’ve gone. It feels far too real to be a dream. But then I sense another presence.

My heart stops when I hear his voice.

“We need to talk.”

The sight of Inan is like a fist driving through my gut. It knocks the wind from my chest as he raises his hands in surrender, brown lips turning into a frown.

“It’s Mother,” his voice shakes. “Amari, if you knew the things she’s done—”

“What about what you’ve done?” I scramble to my feet. “Do I lookfoolish enough to fall for your tricks again? How dare you summon me after attacking our base!”

“Look at me!” Inan storms forward. “Look into my eyes! If I had ordered that attack, why would I have gone out to meet you? Why would I waste time talking to Zélie if I knew Mother was about to turn that land into a war zone?”

I open my mouth, but his words force me to pause. He looked just as confused as I was when we first heard the sanctuary’s horns.

I thought it was all part of his act.

“I know you can’t trust me.” Inan shakes his head. “I know ‘I’m sorry’ will never be enough. But being queen means you don’t get to rule by your emotions.”

I narrow my eyes. “Why did you bring me here?”

“You win.” Inan’s hands go limp. “Iconcede. I can’t keep fighting knowing what I know. I don’t want any part in this war.”

What’s going on?My mouth falls open as my mind spins. I can’t believe a word he speaks, but real pain shines in his eyes.

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