Page 122 of Children of Virtue and Vengeance

I don’t know how to finish the thought. Being this close to Roën makes my chest tight. But when this is over, I’ll be free of him. I’ll be free of every ounce of pain and guilt.

“Z, we’re okay, right?” Nâo glances back at my silence. “No one blames you for wanting to run. We all lost something when Mâzeli died.”

Don’t be sad.

The boy’s large ears fill my mind, another puncture to my heart. If he were here, he’d be running through the underground caves. He’d be itching to reach Ibadan’s shores and end this war.

“I know we let you down,” Nâo sighs. “But we need you. No matter what happens, you’re still our soldier.”

“You should know that your soldier is a coward,” Roën retorts at our backs. “AllZïtsolwants is to run away. Don’t expect her to fight for you when this is over.”

My jaw clenches at Roën’s snark as I turn. He meets my glare with a hollow smirk as he speaks.

“What?” he challenges. “Am I wrong?”

I narrow my eyes and get in his face. “What? I hurt your feelings and now you want to play games?”

“I just want her to know the truth.” Roën shrugs. “I seem to be the only one who can see right through you.”

Nâo slows to a stop, eyes flitting between the two of us. “Do you need to talk—”

“Keep walking,” I bark. “Roën just wants attention.”

I turn on my heel, putting my hands to my ears as he continues to shout.

“These idiots bleed for you. They die foryou. And all you want is to run away and lick your scars—”

“What right do you have?” I whip around. “You left your home!”

“Because I had nothing!” he yells at me. “I had no one. You’re going towinand you still have so many of the people you love! I don’t feel sorry for you. Stop feeling sorry for yourself!”

My throat burns as I come to a stop, inhaling a shaking breath. The air tastes strange on my tongue. The cave walls start to close in.

“You don’t get to judge me,” I whisper. “I didn’t ask for any of this!”

“No one ever asks, but you’re here. You’re here when so many people aren’t!” Roën grabs his head as if he could pull out his hair. “You survived the Raid. The guards. You survived the wrath of aking. You’re not a victim, Zélie. You’re a survivor! Stop running away!”

I can’t move in the wake of his words. They hit me deep in my core. Roën stares at me before exhaling a slow breath and pressing a fist to his forehead.

“Forget it.” He drops his hands and walks past the two of us. “I’m just a mercenary. What do I know?”

“Roën.” I grab my chest as my throat closes up. The stale cave air starts to thin. My head begins to spin.

“Slow down!” Nâo shoots out her hand, extending the tunnel of air as Roën charges ahead. “I don’t know what’s going on with you two, but we need to stay together!”

When Roën doesn’t listen, Nâo curses, extending another tunnel of air. That’s when I see it.

The tiny spark of red above his black hair.

“Roën,” I call after him, but he doesn’t turn back. My legs pick up speed as the scent of oil leaks in. My feet pound against the hard rock. “Wait!”

I’d know that burning scent anywhere.

“Roën,stop!”

I throw Nâo back.

The first fuse blows as he turns around.

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