Page 21 of Children of Virtue and Vengeance

The new prayer forms, my heart breaking for the only thing I can still believe in. I think of standing in alâfia with her and Baba. The peace of death and being back in her arms.

She told me Orïsha needed me, that my work wasn’t done. But bringing magic back only made things worse. The maji are worse off than before.

I close my eyes, muscles clenching at the memory of Queen Nehanda ripping the ashê from her tîtáns’ veins. Magic was all we had to defend ourselves, and now our magic isn’t even as strong as hers.

It doesn’t matter what I do. It doesn’t matter how hard I fight. The maji will never be free.

All that awaits us in this world is heartache.

“Mama, take me!” I scream the words, throwing my head to the sky. The whipping winds cut at the burns on my face. Blood mixes with my tears.

“Take me back,” I whisper, burying myself in Nailah’s coat. No more fighting against the monarchy. No more fighting just toexist. No more tears. No more strife. No more pain.

No more Tzain.

The thought creates a canyon out of the hole in my heart. It’s almost enough to make me turn Nailah around and run back into his arms.

And Amari…

I breathe deep, wishing I could take back every word I screamed. I don’t know how to tell her that it’s not her fault. That I scream at her because I can’t scream at Inan—

“Whoa!” I gasp as we break free of the forest. The silver moon hangs in the night sky, shining over the black silhouettes of the Olasimbo Mountain Range. The terrain changes without warning as the trees disappear, bringing us to a steep cliff that juts out over plummeting darkness.

Nailah roars and digs her nails into the ground to slow us down. Gravel and dirt fly as we careen across the mountainside.

“Hold on!” I yank back on her horns with all the force I have. With a yelp, my lionaire tumbles onto her side. I cry out as the collision throws me from her back.

I claw at the sky as I fly toward the forest. My body smashes through wiry branches before slamming into a tree. I wheeze as my chest collides with hard bark. My ribs fracture with a loud crack.

Blood flies from my lips as my vision blacks out and I tumble to the ground. I curl into myself, lying there until my sight returns.

After a few moments, my cheek grows slick with licks from Nailah’s tongue. Her wet nose nudges my face as the world fades away. For once, I don’t try to hold on.

Take me back.I lift up the prayer once more. Mama was wrong to keep me on earth.

I’m far too broken to help anyone.

Mama, please…

I release it all, allowing the blackness in. But when I open my eyes, I see white.

I see dirt.

I see reeds.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

ZÉLIE

IDON’T KNOWif I’m trapped in a dream or a nightmare.

No chains bind me, but I can’t move.

Crisp air fills my lungs, yet I can’t breathe.

Gray, wilting reeds surround me, a haze of white peeking through like a blanket of clouds. Brittle dirt presses against my bare skin, falling away as I force myself up.

How?

---