Page 76 of Children of Anguish and Anarchy

As Inan speaks, I can’t stop thinking of my sister. I can’t erase the empty look in her eyes as they took her away. There was so much we didn’t get to say.

It was like they were leading my sister to her grave.

“We need a boat,” I speak up. “One strong enough to take us there.”

“They’ll never grant us one,” Amari replies.

“Then we steal,” I say.

“The New Gaians don’t trust us as it is!” Amari pushes back. “If we disobey them now, we could lose the little favor we have. They could kick us out of their lands!”

“We have one chance.” Inan walks over to us. “Onechance to end this on our terms. If we don’t stop them now…” His voice trails off and he gazes at the open sky. Right now, the waxing crescent hangs above. We still don’t know when the Blood Moon will come. If it rises—

No.I shake my head. I can’t allow myself to think like that.

I don’t care what it takes.

I won’t let Zélie fall into King Baldyr’s hands.

“The Lâminas have boats.” I think back to the square armories that sit behind the soldiers’ barracks. “There are always guards outside the gates, but with your magic, we might be able to get in.”

“You want to attack the Lâminas?” Amari’s brows rise. “You won’t get out alive!”

“They have my sister!” I exclaim. “What am I supposed to do?”

“Tzain, even if we could get a boat, what does it matter if we’re not—” Amari struggles. “If we’re not—”

“Not what?” For the first time since the massacre at Ibadan, I really take Amari in and I’m struck by the way she blends in. Since landing in New Gaia, she’s completely transformed. With her braided hair and green silks, she looks just like one of Mae’e’s maidens.

Amari drops her gaze to the floor. Her lip quivers as her truth breaks free.

“What if we’re not strong enough to help?”

Amari voices the question I have refused to face. The insult Köa hurtles at me every time he throws me onto the ground. I don’t have a choice.

If I can’t be strong enough, my little sister dies.

“The thought of facing the Skulls…” Amari puts a hand on herthroat, and I squeeze my eyes shut. My jaw sets with the memories of the long, lonely nights before we staged our attack.

“I felt like we were trapped in those cages forever,” Amari exhales. “It felt like it would never end. We barely escaped with our lives. What do we have to add to Emperor Jörah’s best?”

“Don’t let this place make you think you’re weak.”

Amari looks up at me. Her amber eyes shine. Despite how hard I want to hold her at bay, I can’t fight the way she still makes me feel. The love I’ve buried inside.

“You’re still a fighter, Amari. You’re still herfriend. Zélie needs you.” I look to Inan. “She needs us all.”

Amari lays her hand on my chest, and my shoulders soften at her touch. It feels right to be with her again. If not in love, a true friend.

“Alright.” Amari tilts her head. She chews on her lower lip with the start of an idea. “Forget the Lâminas. Attacking them isn’t the way.”

Amari crosses the gilded room and places her hand on the brass doors. With a heavy push, they slide open.

“Come on.” Amari pulls down her veil. “As of now, we’re guests. Not prisoners.”

DESPITE OUR FREEDOM, EVERYstep we take through the imperial palace feels like walking on glass. Everywhere we go, attendants stare. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt so out of place.

“Eyes ahead,” Amari coaches me under her breath. She keeps her chin lifted and shoulders raised, confidence woven through her regal gait.

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