Page 19 of Sinful Restraint

Titan lifted an annoyed eyebrow. “Cruz has the worst self-control out of all of us.”

“I said usually,” Storm defended. “Listen, I couldn’t have her all in my space that day. I needed to decompress. Yo’ ass was at your resort, and I felt like it made more sense to imply she could go to the club. Cruz is the one who fucked up, not me.”

“Both of you niggas quit talkin’ ‘bout me like I’m not here.” I looked to Titan. “And why couldn’t the metaphor be about dangling a juicy steak in front of a hungry lion instead of callin’ me a muthafuckin’ rabbit? Ain’t shit small and fluffy about me.”

Titan shrugged. “You seem soft sometimes.”

“Fuck you,” I spat.

“Storm does, too,” Titan added matter-of-factly.

“Being cultured and well-informed is not for the faint of heart,” Storm argued. “A better question would be for you both to ask yourselves why my words impact your state of mind.” He tapped the side of his forehead.

“What the hell?” I shook my head in confusion before shooting Titan a look that said ‘you started Storm on this insightful shit’. “None of this is the point. Storm set me up, and then Ri became my distraction, and?—”

“Shit,” Titan muttered. “You’re gettin’ nostalgic about her. Didn’t you used to call her Ri back in the day?”

“Uh, yeah.” I shook off his words. “Back to my point. We all know why Storm really sent Ri there.”

At my words, Storm just shrugged.

“What else happened at Fetish?” Titan asked intuitively, his voice laced with concern.

Sighing deeply, I admitted, “She met Poppy.”

Titan stilled, and Storm’s eyes lifted.

“And she stayed around to watch Poppy suck my dick.”

“Fuck,” Titan huffed.

“What happened to our silent agreement not to touch her?” Storm asked.

“I didn’t touch her,” I told him. “And of course we’ve talked in the past about not puttin’ a move on Rev’s sister, but we haven’t talked about it again since she moved in.”

“We were in agreement,” Titan stated, repeating a similar sentiment as Storm.

“A silent one,” I reminded. “That I think Storm secretly wanted me to break.”

When Titan glared at Storm, Storm kept his expression stoic, not denying my claim.

“This is how we work,” I stated, rotating my hands around the room. “Rev knew what we were about ‘cause he was on the same shit. Sharing has always been natural to us, and I’m usually the one who breaks in the woman we are considering sharing to test her out and see if she’s game.”

“I hear what you’re saying,” Titan muttered. “But this is Santari, not any other woman.”

“I know that. But, shit, I’ve seen you watching Ri intently just as much as I’ve seen Storm unable to take his eyes off her. From jump, this shit ain’t been black and white between all of us, but I know how y’all muthafuckas operate. Storm, you’re reflective. Titan, you’re disciplined. But me? I’m impulsive as hell and willing to push boundaries that you both be wanting me to. We ain’t new to this shit. I can tell when I have to be the one to feel her out before we do something we’ll all regret.”

“And break our word to Rev,” Titan added, hittin’ on the head of the bigger issue. “He ain’t here for us to talk to, but we all know he wouldn’t want this.”

“And while we’ve shared before,” Storm said, “this situation is new to us. Santari makes it different, and Rev being gone makes it complicated.”

I nodded, choking on my guilt as I dragged a hand through my beard. “Trust me, I of all people understand the severity of this fucked-up situation. But when I was in bed that night after she watched me get my dick sucked, I started thinking.” I glanced between them both to make sure they truly heard me. “The Paradox formed because all of us shared a bond and brotherhood that transcended what society deemed as ordinary. When we kill, the process is intimate and we’re betta as a unitthan solo. When we fuck together, the connection we have with the woman is intensely dark and compounding. We live in a shared space because our lives function more cohesively when we’re under the same roof. Fellas, sharing everything has never been our issue. It’s when we try to conform to societal norms and deny our natural instincts where shit gets shot to hell in a hand basket.”

Titan gave a slow, impressed nod, and Storm did a measured clap as he said, “Well put, Cruz. Always good to hear when yo’ thug ass speaks poetry.”

I did a fake bow. “I have my moments.”

For a while, we were each silent and lost in our own thoughts.

---