Page 27 of Sinful Restraint

“I’m sorry,” I muttered.

“Don’t be,” he said, going into his bathroom for a minute.

I briefly admire his room, releasing a small giggle when I noticed he did indeed have a lot of plants in here like he and the guys were discussing when I first moved in.

Moved in …It felt like ages ago that I showed up on their doorstep, but it had only been two and a half weeks. Their lives had started to intertwine with mine in ways I never expected. The quiet check-ins, the way they looked at me like they saw the loss clinging to me even when I tried to hide it. Maybe it was because I noticed them clinging to theirs, too.

I still had so many unanswered questions, but the way their presence filled the silence that had been in my head since Rev passed away was just enough to keep me from slipping too far into the grief.

Maybe I should’ve left before I got attached. Before the lines blurred between a shared loss, evolving friendships, and me fuckin’ Cruz on the couch while Storm and Titan watched.

But I hadn’t left. In fact, it was my idea to stay here in the first place. And when Cruz returned with a glass bowl, two rags, and his favorite shower gel and started to clean off the blood and cum from my body, I worried that it may be too late.

“I should get to my room,” I told Cruz. “I don’t have any of my feminine products here and?—”

My words ceased when he placed a tote bag next to me that was full of all different sized tampons, pads, chocolate, candy, a hot water bottle, electrolytes, vitamins, and everything else a woman could want during her cycle.

“H-How did you know to do this?” I asked, my lips parting in complete shock.

He shrugged as if it was no big deal. “You hadn’t gotten your period since you moved in, so I figured I would put you together a kit for when you started. It’s no biggie. I’ve done this for you before.”

I shook my head. “Only one time when I called you while I was away at college, and you happened to be close by and we hung out.”

When his eyes finally met mine, the vulnerability in them took my breath away.

“Sometimes, my brain remembers little details about a person that I can’t forget. I’m not ashamed of my blood kink, but I can often tell when a woman I see regularly is about to start her cycle. It’s the subtle changes of her figure or the way her mood may shift. I’m sure cramping fuckin’ sucks, but what a woman’s body can do is a beautiful thing.” He ran a hand from my knee to my thigh, causing me to shiver. “I’ve been obsessed with your blood for a long ass time, Ri, and there ain’t shit this pussy ain’t capable of when it comes to fuckin’ me. Whatever you need to take care of youandher, I got you.”

It took me a while to close my mouth and remember how to swallow after that. I didn’t go to my room that night, and when I wrapped myself in Cruz’s sheets while he hugged me from behind and slept soundly, I was afraid to admit I was more scared than ever.

Attachment was a binding force that made me feel restrained sometimes, especially when thinking about how short life was. If I continued down this path with them, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever want to leave. And when they got tired of having me around, where would I go?

What would I do?

I’d already lost Rev. I didn’t want to lose them, too, even if we only stayed friends. The problem was, I didn’t know how one could stay in the friend zone after being fucked like that. There were some things a woman never forgot, and a man licking her blood from his fingers was definitely one of those things. Having Storm and Cruz watch such a filthy fucking had made the experience that much sexier.

I wasn’t sure if the next morning would be awkward, but it wasn’t. Or at least, it wasn’t until everyone left the house to get started with their day.

When I sat down in my Mercedes, that’s when I saw it. A booklet fell out of my bag when I tossed it on the passenger seat. Picking it up from the floor of my car, my fingers froze on the cover of it the moment I read the four words written on it.

The Primal Fetish Paradox.

Eager hands flipped it open and skimmed a few pages, noticing that it was some sort of thick ass contract. Even before I read the details, my gut told me that this wasn’t a normal set of roommate rules. Nah, my boys weren’t like that.

Wait, MY boys?Damn, I was already lookin’ at the trio of friends asmine, which after last night, wasn’t that surprising. But still, I had spent the rest of the night tryin’ to keep my mind from creating an entire narrative that I hadn’t even lived yet.

And now, they had presented me with a contract? I had noticed Cruz snoopin’ around my bag, but I thought he was lookin’ for the Skittles he saw me toss in there this morning. Not a whole sex contact.

Yet, as I continued to read it, that’s exactly what it was.

This Sexual Consent Form (“The Primal Fetish Paradox”) is made this June between SANTARI LAKE (Consenter) and CRUZ CROWNE, STORM WINDERMERE, and TITAN VALENTINE (Proposers), whereas, the Proposer(s) and the Consenter are sexually attracted to each other and would like to manifest that sexual attraction through participation in multiple mind-blowing sexual acts embodied around restraint, chains, and submission.

This agreement enables the Consenter to participate in intimate solo and group activities in and out of the bedroom that will involve full body, vaginal, oral, anal, and other penetrating acts further described in The Primal Fetish Paradox booklet.

The Consenter agrees to discuss contraceptives with the Proposer(s) on an ongoing basis for the duration of the agreement. The Consenter and Proposer(s) will get tested and share the results.

The Consenter and Proposer(s) will be the only parties involved. The Consenter and the Proposer(s) will make their bodies available for each other’s pleasure for the aforesaid purpose, for the duration decided upon by the Consenter if she chooses to agree.

Oh wow.I was at a loss for words. Until now, I’d only heard about The Paradox. But the title of this contract, The Primal Fetish Paradox, touched on the name of Cruz’s clubs and Titan’s resort, with the addition that Storm bought to the mix with Paradox.

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