Page 245 of Sins & Secrets

“You know I miss this side of you?” he tells me.

“What side?”

“The playful side,” he answers and squeezes my hand … kind of like how my heart squeezes. This is the version of my husband I want all the time. The man I know and love.

“Can I tell you a secret?” I whisper just before the waiter walks up to us. “I miss it too.”

“Are you two ready to order?” the waiter asks, looking between us and clasping his hands in front of him.

“You first,” Evan says and gestures at me.

“The lasagna please, with a house salad.” I almost order a glass of cabernet but then I stop myself. Every time I remember we’re having a baby, it’s a gift in itself.

“I’ll have the same,” Evan says, and it surprises me.

When the waiter leaves, I comment with a questioning smirk, “You never have lasagna.”

He shrugs and says, “I guess I want to try it your way.”

“We have the next doctor’s appointment coming up and since you’re no longer working, I assume you’re coming with me?”

“Of course,” Evan says then nods and leans forward, lowering his voice and adding a huskiness to it that makes every inch of my body tingle. “You know you look beautiful, right?”

I can’t help the smile and blush that spread across my face at his compliment. “Stop,” I say, brushing him off.

“Never,” he answers playfully, his handsome asymmetric smile toying with my emotions.

That warm cheery feeling in my chest slowly drifts away as I remember my own little secret. Not so little, really.

“I have something to tell you,” I say, uttering the words even at the risk of upsetting Evan. I guess I waited intentionally for us to be out in public before I could tell him. “I did something that I don’t think you’re going to like.”

“What’s that?” he asks easily, although I notice his shoulders stiffen.

“I was curious about something and I think it’s something only I would know how to ask appropriately …”

I don’t know how to word this, and I find myself staring at the ice in the glass of water.

“You can tell me. Whatever it is.”

“I went to see Samantha a couple days ago. At her place on Fifth Avenue,” I tell him, confessing before I can stop myself. The air instantly changes as Evan doesn’t respond. He seems uncomfortable if anything.

“I had to know for myself.”

“What did you have to know?” He shifts in his seat

“I had to know if she was your type. What she was like. So I know how to react when her name comes up.”

Evan runs his hand down the back of his head as he looks away from me. “Her name isn’t going to come up …”

“You don’t understand—” I start to explain but he cuts me off.

“There’s no one else for me, Kat,” he tells me bluntly, his hands hitting the table and rattling the small plates. The couple atable down from us glances in our direction and Evan grimaces. Sometimes he doesn’t realize his own strength.

“I knew you would be upset—” I begin my apology and again he cuts me off.

“But you did it anyway.” His cocked brow adds some humor although I still feel guilty over it all.

I nod my head once. “I did. And it’s over.”

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