Page 257 of Sins & Secrets

It’s slow and sensual and makes my blood heat.

“I know he will, and I love you for it.”

I take her small hand in mine and look deep into her eyes. She’s seen so much of me. All of my bad along with the little bit of good I have in me, and she still loves me. There’s no way I could doubt that. “I know this past year has been rough, but I’m going to do everything I can to make our lives easy for … forever.”

A small smile seems to tickle Kat’s lips, still a darker hue from our kiss, and she moves her fingers to them.

“I mean it, Kat. I love you and this baby more than anything.” Tears come to my eyes and I only pray she knows that I love her just as much as she loves me.

After a moment, she nods. “I know you do, and I know you will.”

Moving my hand to her belly, I feel our little one kick just beneath the small bit of pressure. It still gets me every time.

“He knows too,” Kat says with a smile that lights her eyes.

“So, Henry?” I question, feeling a swell of pride in my chest.

She nods her head, her eyes getting glossy as she puts a hand on her belly.

“Henry.”

Diary Entry Three

Hey Pops,

I wanted you to know,every day I think about what I should do to make you proud. Even the days I mess up. I guess those days especially. Your voice is always there, telling me to make it right.

Lately, I’ve been doing good. I think you’d agree. Sometimes I make mistakes. Like when little Henry peed through his diaper last week at four in the morning. I changed his diaper but didn’t change the onesie. Kat let me have it for that one.

Common sense and all that goes out the window when it comes to him. She didn’t tell me to change the onesie too. I should have known, but I’m just so careful around him. She’s teaching me, though, and we’re learning together. You’d love it. We miss you so much.

He’s so small, Pops, I can hold him in one hand. I’m scared I’m gonna break him some days. Kat tells me I’m fine, and that I look good holding him. But I’m terrified I’m going to mess up.

I guess I’m just nervous to ruin it, so I keep waiting for her to tell me what to do.

She’s taking good care of me. Especially in that department.

She’s not going to mess up and that’s the only thing that makes me think it’s all going to be all right.

Kat’s not gonna let me get away with anything anymore.

The best part about that is that I love it.

I wish I’d listened to you sooner, Pops. I want you to know, I’m trying to make sure my marriage is like yours and Ma’s.

I’ve got to go. I just really wanted to talk to you tonight. Some nights are harder than others and I’m not sure it’ll ever get too easy. Even if it does, I’ll be thinking of you and wanting your advice.

I love you.We all do.

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