Page 96 of Sins & Secrets

“Leave,” Evan tells me in a low voice. “It’s mine, I’ll take yours.” He nods behind me and I glance at the white stretch limo before nodding my head. The rough stubble on my chin brushes against Jules’s hair. I meet his crystal blue eyes as he says through clenched teeth, “Go! Just get the fuck out of here.”

JULES

Intentions—cruel, helpless, hopeful,

They come in different shades.

They leave the nights with bright light,

And sharpen the dullest blades.

They bend your will and change your plans,

And make you do bad things.

They don’t change the outcome,

Nor stop what justice brings.

My thumbnail nervously scrapes against my fingernails one at a time. I don’t have polish on, although I wish I did so I could pick it off. I’ve always done this. A nervous habit, I suppose.

My eyes drift back to Mason. His head is back against the headrest and it jostles as the limo drives over a speed bump. His hands are clasped in his lap, the knuckles torn and bloodied and his eyes are focused on the roof of the cabin.

His cheek is already bruised. There’s a split on the left side of his lips. My fingers itch to touch it. To comfort him.

He hasn’t said a word. Silence is the only thing that accompanies us.

I swallow thickly as his head turns to the side and he stares at me. A burning sensation prickles over my skin and begs me to look away, but I can’t. It’s hopeless.

He licks his lower lip, the tip of his tongue sliding down the cut as he sets his hand on my thigh. I watch as he swallows and then breathes in heavily, all the while holding my gaze. Even blind eyes could see he is a damaged man.

“Are you okay?” he asks in a low voice, deep and heavy and riddled with pain.

“Are you?” I question back with just as much sincerity, but Mason presses on.

“I mean after Liam grabbed you?”

The lump in my throat expands as the memory comes flooding back.

I shake my head immediately, closing my eyes only to recall the unhinged look in Liam’s eyes. I shudder and wrap my arms around myself. Mason immediately pulls me into him, holding me. He never fails to comfort me. I breathe easier enveloped in his warmth and resting my head on his chest. I love that he comforts me but just this once, I want to be the one comforting him.

He rocks me softly back and forth for a moment. As I calm down, the guilt weighs heavily on me. Both times now that I’ve tried to leave Mason, I’ve come to face regret and remorse for my actions.

“I shouldn’t have gone outside,” I say, letting the confession drift between us.

“Why were you out there?” Mason asks me, and it only solidifies the offense. I don’t answer. Instead I look away, my cheek still resting on his shoulder and his arms still around me.

I hear him swallow and let out a strangled breath before rocking me again ever so slightly. He doesn’t let go of me though, and he doesn’t question me again. I’m grateful for both.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper as I watch the lights of the city slip past us in a blur on our way back to his home.

His deep voice rumbles, “Are you?” There’s no animosity there, no curiosity either. Simply a flat question devoid of all the emotion he just gave me a moment ago.

“I am.”

A moment passes in silence and the limo rocks us as it passes over another speed bump before Mason kisses my hair and moves me to settle in his lap.

“It’s okay,” Mason says, running his hand down my hair to my back as he consoles me. He plants a soft kiss on my shoulder and my neck, and then a sweet kiss on my lips before looking me in the eyes. He gives me a sad smile and then kisses me once more before saying, “It’s okay, I understand.”

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