Page 40 of Turret

“I could never leave without you, Gemma.” His hold tightened around me, his desperation to keep me near.

I swallowed the tears threatening to escape. “But you can’t live your life solely for me. Even though you struggle to see it, you’re much more than my guard.”

“I’ll have to be more than that once we leave this tower, because my guarding days will be over. But I could never leave without you,” he said firmly. “My desires to escape are not for myself but foryou. I want more for you than this, and I won’t give up until you finally want it too.”

My heart swelled at his loyalty, one that extended beyond my protection considering he desired me to experience a life more wondrous than I could envision for myself.

Even if I wasn’t yet strong enough to want to leave, I cared too much for him to force him to remain on my behalf. Could my love for him and my desires for him to experience a life beyond these walls be strong enough to break free of the tower that held me bound?

Chapter 15

My hands shook as I frantically turned the pages of the herbalist guide, while the books I’d already searched were piled in untidy stacks around me. I sensed Quinn’s concerned gaze but didn’t look up. Bowls of herbs in various states of preparation rested on the neighboring table, evidence of the hours of study from these past several days. I’d already thoroughly searched the books from the apothecary and had now turned my attention to the older volumes contained in the herbal garden, but so far they too yielded nothing.

“Princess?” Quinn’s hesitant voice penetrated my frenzied movements enough for me to glance up. As usual he appeared concerned for me, never mind the one he should be worried for was himself. I didn’t want to tell him the reason behind my frantic search for fear of giving him greater cause for concern…but by his expression he undoubtedly already knew.

I forced a smile that, from our distance, his fading sight likely caused him to miss. “I’m fine.”

I returned to scouring my book, but none of the pages revealed any clues as to how to revert a curse of blindness, especially one several generations old. But the lack of information did nothing to lessen my determination, which had only escalated in the week following the tower’s trick.

His hurting his hands while trying to move the stones had only been the first incident of many small ones to follow. The final straw had been two days ago when he’d collided into a sharp corner of a wall that had partially crumbled during the night. As I’d tearfully tended to him, he’d explained the area of his accident had been part of the series of corridors he’d memorized so he wouldn’t have to rely as heavily on his weakening sight…causing him to miss this sudden change in the tower. The injury had resulted in a huge gash in his leg that caused a painful limp.

Each mishap was a reminder of the darkness slowly claiming him. I felt I was watching him walk into the shadowy corridor without a candle to light the way, an unbearable thought, especially when I was still convinced there had to be a way to stop it.

But there was little I could do. The tower’s fading magic had begun affecting the herbal garden, leaving most of the plants either useless or unable to grow back after I’d picked them. Not only could I not use them to help Quinn, but I was unable to explore the budding passion within me, leaving me no distraction from my suffocating helplessness.

If I couldn’t work with the herbs, how would I ever become a healer? The more I imagined that future, the more I wanted it…and not just so I could help others. I desired to prove myself, to create a place in my kingdom where I could be more than a useless, sickly princess, to have a future I could claim should the tower’s fading magic eventually force me to leave. The healing effects of my own elixir had given me confidence and left me wanting to learn even more in order to help others the way it was continuing to help me.

The thought only caused my desperation to escalate. I took in all the ingredients piled around me in search of the best combination…but there was nothing. My helplessness rose, and with it I felt my control slipping away. I tried to regain it through my herbs—in combining elements together to create something useful that could not only help the man I loved but create purpose for me outside the tower’s confinement. So I studied, minced, bottled, and searched for the right concoction, one I hoped would not only save Quinn but would help me create a future for myself.

I froze when I glimpsed something in the nearby mirror, a splotch of red that appeared and disappeared in a single flash. But even though it’d been brief, there was no mistaking what I’d seen. Icy dread seeped over me and I nearly dropped my knife. Was the tower trying to show me another dark vision?

“Princess?”

I ignored Quinn’s concerned inquiry, my gaze riveted to the looking glass. I didn’t turn away at his approach, even when the alluring warmth of his proximity seeped over me as he stood beside me. It was the closest he’d allowed himself these past several days, for despite our enjoying snippets of beautiful closeness, he still seemed determined to maintain his annoying distance, crushing our budding romance before it could fully bloom.

I forced myself to turn away from the mirror and return to chopping the rosemary, but my hand shook, making the task difficult. He rested his over mine, stilling my shaking. “What is it, Gemma?”

I debated a moment whether or not to answer before my natural need to confide in him caused the words to tumble out. “The mirror…”

His entire manner hardened as he strode towards the mirror with agitated strides, glaring at it accusingly with a look like he meant to break it if it dared try to show me anything offensive…but the glass remained blank. Unconvinced, Quinn’s frown deepened as he continued to study it before turning back to me with a heavy sigh.

“Whatever it tries to show you, please don’t let it.”

Though he knew as well as I did that I had no control over that, I nodded and tried to return to my herbs, but I was now far too distracted to continue working. Quinn approached and once more rested his hand over mine.

“I know what you’re doing,” he murmured. “And I wish you wouldn’t worry yourself.”

The emotion I’d struggled to keep back escaped with a strangled sob. “How can I not worry? I cannot accept the curse inflicting you or all it’ll rob you of.” With all the curses already tainting my life, I knew firsthand the pain they brought and couldn’t bear to see this one afflict dear Quinn…especially when he stubbornly allowed it to serve as a barrier between us.

Sadness seeped over him, but he said nothing. With a sigh I tried to return to my work, but my emotions proved too much to continue. It appeared I was finished for the day, once more with nothing to show for my futile efforts.

I took a steadying breath before facing Quinn. “How’s your leg?”

“It’s feeling better each day.” At my frown he hastily continued. “It’s only a minor injury, Gemma, nothing to worry over—”

“How can I not?” My voice escalated as my despair rose, threatening to overcome me. “First your cut thumb, then your battered hands, all those bruises, and now your leg…how much longer must this go on before it becomes even more serious?”

“Nothing more will happen,” he said soothingly. “The earlier injuries were because I was careless, but I’ll be more cautious, especially knowing the tower will likely only continue to not only change but fall apart.” His lips pinched, his worry that I was still trapped in such a place, but with apparent effort he forced the look away and gave me a strained smile. “Not to worry, the more I get used to my condition, the better I can navigate it.”

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