“I can’t imagine beauty without you in it.” I ran my thumb along his hand in my own explorations. “Is it better to see me through touch or not at all?”
He sighed. “I know what you’re really asking. You know the answer to that, Gemma.”
“Then you know my answer should you ask me the same thing?”
Hope filled his eyes that had been absent before. The sight of it made me brave. I was tired of being limited by my fears and uncertainties, of not living the life I wanted, and what I wanted most—even before I’d realized it—was Quinn, the first man who truly saw me, who believed in me, who helped me see myself for who I really was as well as the wonders of the world.
It was time to do the same for him.
I waded closer. To my relief he remained still, granting me the bravery to cradle his cheek. My eyes fluttered closed, and for a moment I marveled at how heightened my senses were through touch alone, of how much I could see him from beneath my fingertips. Perhaps because there was no one I knew better, not even myself, nor was there anyone more dear.
Eyes still closed, I reached up and slowly pressed my lips against his. With how insistent he’d been that a relationship between us was impossible I feared I’d need to encourage him, but to my delight, he readily returned the kiss. Passion filled his lips as he kissed me back with an eagerness like he’d wanted to kiss me for a long time…and perhaps he had.
His reaction surprised me, and I tried to return it in the shy, uncertain way of one experiencing her first kiss. The way he groaned made me hope I was doing it right. His fingers burrowed in my hair, bringing me closer, his lips fervent yet soft and gentle, treating me with the protective, adoring way he always did.
I was just melting against him when he suddenly released me, scooting back so hastily he nearly lost his balance. I stared at him, struggling to speak through my shallow breaths.
“Quinn?” I was almost afraid to ask him what was wrong; by his wide eyes, I suspected it already.
“I’m yourguard. I’m supposed to protect you, not—” He couldn’t even finish.
My insecurity returned, a prison that was all too easy to enter whenever I was feeling embarrassed. “Did you not…like it?”
“Gemma…” He released a long breath before sloshing closer to take my hands. “I can’t tell you how long I’ve wanted to kiss you, and the experience was far better than I ever imagined it’d be.”
My heart lifted at his words. “You imagined kissing me?”
He chuckled breathlessly as he pressed his forehead against mine. “I did.”
I smiled. “How often?”
“All the time, but even so, it was inappropriate for me to—”
“I don’t care.”
“But Gemma, not only am I your guard, I’m on duty—”
“You’re always on duty,” I grumbled. “And I don’t care that you’re my guard—you’re also my best friend, the man I love. As such, certain liberties can be granted, even while you’re at your post.”
His expression remained unyielding. I frowned, trying to figure out a way to persuade him, before my mind lit with an idea. I gave him an impish smile.
“It’s quite the adjustment being outside the tower for the first time in three years, and I’m feeling rather frightened. Won’t you protect me?” I snuggled closer.
His lips twitched. “Mischievous girl.” To my relief he played along, his arms winding around me to nestle me against him. I laid my head against his chest and sighed contentedly as his hands moved to stroke up and down my back. “Are you still frightened?” he murmured against my hair.
“Extremely,” I said. “I need my guard to protect me from the dangers that are sure to come upon us.”
“Nothing can be more dangerous that the position we’re in now.” Despite his protests, to my fierce relief he didn’t pull away; if anything he clung to me more tightly. I could sense how much he cared for me in the tender way he cradled me close, and in his arms I found reason to hope for the life I longed to create with him.
“I wish you could see the future I want with you,” I murmured. “Perhaps it’s something I can show you, like you showed me the forest and I helped you see the light reflecting on the water.”
His arms tightened around me. “You don’t understand: I can already see that future.”
My brow furrowed as I tipped my head back to meet his gaze. “Then what’s holding you back?”
He sighed. “I need time, Gemma. I have to be certain the future I see is the one that will grant you the greatest happiness.”
Considering for the time being I still wanted to remain in my tower, time was something I had an abundance of, and I’d grant him as much as he needed in order to keep him forever.