Page 82 of Façade

I fought against my warring desires until the sun rose to bathe my room in morning’s golden light, dispelling the last of the shadows lingering in the corners if not those riddling my thoughts. I groggily got up, determined to explore the monastery library to learn more about Estoria’s magic and the power of curses in hopes of discovering another solution to this impossible riddle. Therehadto another way, one that would allow me both to keep her and to save my kingdom without cowardly stealing what I needed.

My plans crumbled the moment I exited my room to find one of my attending guards standing rigidly at his post, his eyes bloodshot and his expression wrought with heartache. Panic rose. “What’s happened?” I demanded.

He didn’t answer, as if words failed him. At his continued silence his comrade flanking his other side spoke up. “Forgive him, Your Highness. He’s been struggling ever since we passed through the vanished village where his sister lived. Despite his frantic searching, he’s been unable to…” He said nothing more, but words were unnecessary; the guard’s grief spoke volumes.

She’d vanished, just like my other subjects who’d fallen victim to the curse’s power. Once more it’d stolen a life and left behind only grief. Horror seized my breath; unable to remain standing, I slumped against the wall. If I’d acted sooner, could I have saved his sister? Could I have savedanyone?

This sobering thought haunted me with every step towards the library, dread making each one heavy. Guilt muddled my focus as I perused the shelves on magic and Estoria’s royalty. I hadn’t been browsing long when my heart sensed my wife’s presence before I did. This gentle pull guided me through the labyrinth of shelves until I found her sitting cross-legged on the floor with her skirts around her and her own book in her lap.

Sense dictated I stay away, but my rebellious heart and the temptation’s eager anticipation as it stirred back to life urged me forward. At the sound of my approach she looked up. It might have been my foolish hopes toying with my imagination, but I thought I noticed the beginnings of a smile curving her lips upon seeing me.

My limbs seemed to go slack with even this simple token, and my book slipped from my hand to tumble to the ground. It landed face-up, exposing the title I’d do anything to hide from her:Estoria and Its Magical Power. From her position she could easily read it. The shadow of her smile immediately vanished and her eyebrows rose.

“I see you’ve spent the morning studying your favorite topic.” Her voice was stiff, causing my cheeks to burn. I hastily stooped to pick the book up, turning it so its title was no longer visible, a futile gesture considering she’d already seen it.

“Research seems prudent…considering my goals—”

“There’s no need for you to explain,” she interrupted crisply.

She said nothing more, but fire filled her eyes, such a contrast to the tenderness that had eclipsed her moments before. Though her reaction was exactly what I deserved, the despair at seeing firsthand how the curse affected my subjects pushed my fragile hold over my willpower past breaking point.

You deserve her hatred. The guilt, never far away, returned, more acute while in her presence. This remorse warred with my love that in this moment felt like nothing more than a façade. How could I feel what I did and yet be so tempted to use her? I was a cad of the worst sort.

She readjusted the book in her lap to stand and I glimpsed a single word of the title,Magic, before she hastily tucked it behind her back. Her hiding it only reminded me of the secrets tainting our relationship, creating a foundation far too shaky to build the trust a true marriage would require. Yet I still didn’t want to give her up. If we set aside our diverging ambitions, could we built something real?

These questions filled the awkward silence, a tension similar to that which had filled much of our strained marriage. Such a contrast to the warm familiarity we’d gradually built throughout our journey, a regression I understood even as it filled me with regret.

Her movements were stiff as she shifted anxiously, her gaze darting about as if she hoped to find an excuse to leave my presence somewhere amongst the crowded shelves.

She’s right to remain on her guard, with what you’re planning.

I’m not planning anything!But the strength of my growing temptation rendered the words as nothing more than a lie.

With a wavering breath she finally met my gaze. “Did you seek me out to finally rid yourself of me?”

I knew that needed to be my intention, but in this moment my longings for her made it impossible to actually follow through. “Do you want me to, Evie?”

“I’m simply surprised that now that you’re well enough you’ve made no mention of our impending annulment. For as adamant as you’ve been, you seem to be delaying it.”

If only she knew. I frowned. “Are you encouraging me to go through with it despite being so adamantly against it before?” I knew the true reason for her shifting desires—as the true princess, remaining married to me was dangerous for both her and her kingdom, something her behavior gave me reason to suspect she’d discovered only recently—butshedidn’t know that I knew. I almost anticipated her response, curious what excuse she’d conjure to explain her change in heart.

Her bringing up the dreaded topic acted as further evidence that she was the true princess who now wanted nothing more than to separate herself from me, even as her true identity strengthened my need to keep her, diverging desires that served as an aching reminder that it’d be impossible for us to ever be together.

You must steal her magic before she gets her way in this manner. The tempting whispers returned, as enticing as ever, and much more difficult to resist with her so near.

I swallowed the lump lodged in my throat and forced a smile. “What’s this, dear wife? Are you secretly pleased I’m delaying our separation because you’ve come to realize you can’t possibly live without me?”

She gasped. “Of course not!” But her alluring blush gave me hope she felt otherwise, along with the nervous way she fiddled with her hair and avoided my eyes.

I found my attention riveted to her every movement, no matter how small. She was truly an unconventional beauty, different from the glamour of the court, one I hadn’t appreciated when we’d first married but which I was now convinced there was nothing lovelier in all the surrounding kingdoms.

Her magic seems a reasonable trade for the happiness it’ll bring your kingdom and you if you remain married.

I gave my head a rigid shake in a feeble effort to shake away these dangerous thoughts, but the temptation’s hold on me was too tight. The library’s walls seemed to be closing in around me, stifling the air. We were too secluded and I was too susceptible, a perilous combination for my faltering willpower.

We needed to leave. I offered my arm to escort her from the dusty shelves out into the courtyard, and though the fresh air helped to clear my foggy head, her heated touch on my arm made me yearn to remain near her. I should depart from her, but in my weakness I couldn’t untangle my arm from hers.

We walked the circumference of the courtyard in silence, one I both yearned to bridge and was content to let reign in hopes it’d make it easier to resist her. Eventually she broke it.

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