Page 85 of Façade

Desperation to check on Evie cut my discussion with the priest short. Unsurprisingly, her guard barred my entrance and wouldn’t let me see her, no matter my pleas. I eventually gave up to wander the monastery, avoiding the now-tainted courtyard where everything had transpired. I eventually found a secluded alcove, where I remained long after night had settled around me, bringing with it a darkness that matched my inner turmoil.

I stared at the vial I still held, a representation of the greed that had consumed me and a painful reminder that I needed to remain as far away from Evie as possible…which left only one choice open to me, the only path my selfishness had caused me to resist for far too long.

I must act soon before my will could be once more be seized by the temptation’s influence. My heart wrenched at the choice, one my weakness rendered necessary, for though I loved her, it hadn’t been enough not to hurt her. I no longer trusted myself.

It wasn’t too late to prove that I loved her enough to sacrifice my desires by finally letting her go, a small penance that, while it wouldn’t take away my sin, would at least protect her against the weakness that made me the last man who could ever hope to deserve her.

CHAPTER28

EVELYN

It was a struggle to surface from the deep sleep currently holding me prisoner, a darkness shrouded with nightmares that coiled around my subconscious—haunting, indiscernible images of something precious being taken from me by a faceless shadow as a cloying darkness dragged me down. Escape proved impossible with my mind and body so weak, an exhaustion similar to when I overexerted myself when practicing my magic, only far more acute.

As I drifted in and out of sleep, tense voices filled the room—one I recognized as my husband’s, arguing, compounding my confusion. The shouts finally ceased and a calming presence settled beside me, a nearness that allowed me to gradually settle into a more restful sleep.

The next time I awoke, I’d gained enough strength to push myself towards the surface of consciousness in order to weakly open my eyes. The world around me was blurry, as if the colors had been washed away. I blinked several times and my surroundings gradually came into focus. By the thin sliver of colored light flittering through the stained glass window I found Ryland in the seat beside me, his forehead resting on the edge of my bed.

My heart swelled to see him, even as a persistent thought gnawing at the back of my mind warned me I had every reason to be wary of him, though those reasons remained obscure, still trapped in the fog I’d just struggled to emerge from. There was so much I wanted to express to him, but our complicated history made words difficult.

“It appears our roles are reversed.” My words emerged as a raspy whisper just loud enough for Ryland’s gaze to snap up to meet mine. My breath caught at his expression, twisted with an emotion I didn’t recognize but which wrenched my heart. “Ryland?”

I lifted a weak hand to heed a rather puzzling impulse to run my fingers through his hair, but my weighted arm fell limply onto the covers. Sensing what I wanted, after an uncertain glance towards Silas, Ryland took my hand with aching gentleness…but he didn’t hold it for long before he hastily dropped it when Guard Silas cleared his throat in warning from his place along the wall.

Ryland cast him a tense look before leaning towards my ear. “I promised him that if he allowed me to see you I wouldn’t touch you.”

I glanced at my guard, arms folded as he glared at my husband. “I want him to hold my hand.”

He pursed his lips, but even through his waves of silent disapproval he made no complaint. Despite my wishes, Ryland hesitated before his shoulders sank. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t…it’s for the best, Evie.” He lightly traced the air above my pout with his fingertip, close but not quite touching. “Are you alright?” Emotion wrenched his voice, a concern that seemed deeper than an inquiry after my well-being.

“I’m fine, though you don’t seem to be. What’s wrong?”

He ignored this question and continued hovering over me worriedly. “Are you sure you’re fine? You’ve been asleep for several days. I’ve been so worried about you.”

My brow furrowed. Had I truly slept for so long? I stretched my thoughts back in an effort to discover what had happened but couldn’t recall anything except for a sudden sharp pain before all my strength left me, causing me to collapse. I weakly pressed my hand to my head to suppress the memory; Ryland reached out as if to feel my brow…before checking himself and hastily withdrawing.

My heart twinged. I wanted nothing more than to feel his touch. Though we hadn’t touched much throughout our marriage of convenience, the times we had had been seared into my memory; the most recent hovered just before the restless darkness had consumed me, making it feel both far away and achingly near, as if part of a dream—Ryland with his feather-like and alluring caress cradling my cheek, followed by…something incredibly tender, even if my foggy memories made it difficult to recall what it’d been.

“The last thing I remember is the moment you caressed my cheek.”

Ryland stiffened. “I—no, I didn’t—that is…do you remember anything else?” He spoke hesitantly, almost as if he secretly hoped Iwouldn’tremember anything. But what reason had he to be worried?

I considered, but my most recent memories remained fuzzy and indiscernible, as if my unconsciousness had consumed them. “I don’t remember much, except…oh!”

Ryland immediately stiffened, as if bracing himself for an accusation. “What is it?”

“You and I were together in the library…or was it the courtyard?” Images of both locations flittered through my mind as I tried to assemble the pieces of my fragmented thoughts, but it felt as if I was viewing a recollection from the distant past. Weariness consumed me from the effort. Why couldn’t I remember it clearly? Foreboding settled over me the longer I struggled, making me wonder if I’d blocked out the memory in an effort to protect myself from a truth I didn’t want to face.

“Did something happen?” I asked hesitantly.

Ryland didn’t answer, which only confirmed the unsettling suspicion that had shrouded me ever since I’d awoken. Somethinghadhappened. As more of my awareness emerged from the shadow of unconsciousness, I noticed that the power I’d gradually been growing more accustomed to had vanished.

I bolted upright with a startled gasp, but a wave of dizziness forced me to fall back against the pillows with a soft moan. At the sound Ryland hastened to his feet with such force he nearly upended his chair, while Guard Silas pushed off the wall to rush to my side.

“What did he do now?” he demanded.

“Ryland didn’t do anything—“

But my husband looked unconvinced; he’d already backed himself against the farthest wall, as if afraid to remain too close for fear of hurting me. I ached to reassure him he’d done nothing and to plead for him to return to my side, but further words proved impossible through my escalating panic; I had more pressing matters, first and foremost my faded magic.

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