Page 86 of Façade

I frantically searched for any lingering signs of my power, struggling to uncover the layers I’d been gradually chiseling away ever since its discovery…advances that had since collapsed, blocking my access to them. But through the crevices I detected a glimmer of them, shafts of slanted light through a storm. They hadn’t vanished, though theyhadweakened, without my knowing how such a thing had happened…or why.

Glimpsing my powers eased some of my pressing worry, making it easier to breathe again. I glanced back towards Ryland, still pressed against the wall with Guard Silas towering over him, his narrowed gaze fixed on me.

“Are you alright, Evie?” He spoke uncertainly, as if he feared he had no right to make such an inquiry.

At my continued silence his worry deepened…along with another emotion.Guilt?What would he have to be guilty about? Again, that unsettling feeling prodded the back of my mind, urging me to remember something in my anxiousnesses I sensed I wanted nothing more than to forget.

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall, as if in great pain. “I know I have no right to be here…but I couldn’t stay away. I was just so worried…but I shouldn’t have—“

“It’s alright, Ryland,” I finally managed. “It made me happy to wake up to you.” I managed to gather enough strength to lift my arm to reach for him. “Stay. Please.”

For a long moment he stared at my outstretched hand before he slowly eased himself from the wall and slowly returned to my side. “Are you certain?”

I nodded, and although he didn’t accept my hand, he settled back in his abandoned seat, where he promptly buried his forehead in his hands. My own distress vanished, leaving me yearning to comfort him. With great effort I rested my hand on his trembling shoulder, ignoring my guard’s sharp disapproval.

“I’m alright,” I managed.

He didn’t answer, but though he stiffened at my touch, thankfully he didn’t pull away. My guard’s glare remained riveted to my husband as he stood with his hand hovering over the hilt of his sword, poised to interfere the moment his protection was required. His heightened concern left me confused; though I remained weak and ill, my condition wasn’t Ryland’s doing…was it? Once again the urgency filling my mind stirred, trying to tell me something in words my heart still couldn’t understand.

Ryland finally looked up with a heavy sigh. “You’re so sweet to be concerned about me when you’re the one feeling unwell.” His look told me there was much more he yearned to express, but he couldn’t find the words.

After some hesitation he managed a strained smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “What do you remember?”

Once again I tried to access the memories that, like my magic, I could tell lingered even as they remained trapped behind a pane of glass—visible but impossible to reach. “Not much. Do you know what happened?”

He nervously wrung his hands in his lap. “I wish I did.” He avoided my eyes, exposing the lie he’d just spoken, one of countless in our relationship. No matter how close we became, we could never fully escape the deceit continuously present between us.

“But you were with me,” I pressed. “Surely you have some idea—”

He suddenly stood, so hastily that this time hedidknock over his chair. “Forgive me, but…I have to go.”

I blinked at him, hurt by the suddenness of his departure. “I hoped you would keep me company.”

The admission warmed my cheeks, made more embarrassing considering he seemed to adamantly object to the idea, feelings that tainted not only this moment but the ones when I’d remained by his side when he’d been unwell.

I lowered my eyes. “Considering our circumstances…I suppose I understand why you don’t want to remain with me.” Only memories of his concern and how his devotion in remaining beside me while I’d slept kept my pain from completely squeezing my heart.

Several emotions I couldn’t decipher flitted across his expression as an unknown inner battle raged within him before his shoulders slumped in defeat. “It’s not that…I just have to go, Evelyn.”

Evelyn…so he was back to using my formal name. That, more than his desire to no longer remain in my company, reminded me that despite how our relationship had progressed, in the end our marriage was nothing more than a façade, one he still seemed eager to break.

Despite the dangers of remaining married to a prince who likely still planned to use me for his own ends, I still wanted to be with him. This desperation for him terrified me, as did how much I’d grown to care for him and the joy I experienced when he was near, emotions Ishouldn’tfeel with the complications vying to separate us. Love was anything but logical.

Love…it was the first time I’d labeled my feelings with such a life-altering word, and what a time to do so now that the object of my affections was seeking any excuse not to linger.

“Will you visit me again?” I hated how desperate I sounded.

He said nothing, which was answer enough. Only the guilt marring his expression made me wonder if he regretted hurting me. “Distance is best, Evie.”

I knew he was right, especially with whatever my subconscious seemed to be still trying to tell me. Our relationship had been built on deceit on both sides, and our goals and desires conflicted. Yet despite all of that, I loved him still.

“It’s just as well; I’m tired and could use a nap.” It was a pitiful excuse, but in this moment, being alone, even with nothing to distract me from my whirling thoughts, was far preferable to the hurt his presence caused to slowly encase my heart.

He hesitated in the doorway with a look like he fully intended to remain. He half turned to face me. “Evie—”

He lifted his hand, as if to reach for me. His use of my nickname caught me off guard, especially with the warning crowding the back of my mind, a sense that it was in my best interest to stay away from him, as if my subconscious remembered something I didn’t. Did it have anything to do with my suddenly weakened powers or the nightmares that had plagued my restless sleep?

“Just leave,” I pleaded weakly. “Please.”

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