Page 90 of Façade

He flinched. “It’s not as if it didn’t—you have no idea how much I wish—” Defeat weighed his shoulders. “Everything has changed since then.”

“What do you mean?”

He remained silent for a long moment. “I know what’s most important, and nothing will turn me away from that.” His previous uncertainty had vanished, leaving him emotionless.

Nothing…not even me. The relationship we’d forged despite the deceit threatening it didn’t matter to him, only the magic the supposed true princess could bring him. The pieces of our broken marriage lay scattered around me like the blotches of sunlight that flittered through the drapes as the sun rose higher, bringing with it the day I’d once hoped for but now dreaded.

After everything, he truly wanted to annul our marriage.

He avoided looking at me, as if he couldn’t bear to see my reaction to his decision that love was nothing to his other more pressing desires. And though such an outcome would allow him to live up to his duties as a prince, it still hurt.

For the briefest moment I was tempted to tell him of my magic, desperate to do anything for him to remain with me…before sense suppressed my heart’s impractical urgings. Even if the truth compelled him to stay, his actions to rid himself of me now confirmed his choosing to remain married would never be formebut solely for my powers—convenience rather than love that left my own feelings forever unrequited. A torturous future.

His intentions hurt more deeply now that I’d come to know the man hidden beneath his current indifference—one who was kind, gentle, honorable…and who loved his kingdom and was duty-bound to help them in any way he could, traits I myself had a responsibility to uphold.

The kiss had clouded my judgement and made me forget all sense. No matter my feelings, I was the crown princess of Estoria. Though Ryland currently mistook me for a decoy, I wouldn’t be able to keep my powers hidden forever. One day he’d discover them and seek to use me. My love wouldn’t be enough for me to endure such heartache; I deserved better. Even if he didn’t value me,Ineeded to remain true to the worth I’d come to discover within myself, no matter how painful it’d be to let him go.

I took every tender feeling that had ever bloomed between us and forced myself to lock them away. Only once I’d ensured I had a firm hold on my resolve did I garner the strength to accept this unwanted path. “Very well, if that is your wish.”

“It is.”

With a wavering breath I nodded. Tension shrouded him as he studied the heartache twisting my expression…though his eyes told another story, one of regret and fierce guilt. His fists clenched, as if resisting the impulse to pull me into his arms…but that was a foolish wish my heart would do well to rid itself of if I hoped to endure what was to come.

“The ceremony is prepared. Come.” He didn’t look at me as he spoke, merely extended his arm to escort me.

It appeared he meant to do this now in order to rid himself of me as soon as possible. Even though as the real princess it’d be in my best interest to sever myself as soon as possible from a man who only wanted me for my powers, I found it nearly impossible to accept his arm. How could I hesitate to embark on the path I knew to be right?

You’re the true crown princess of Estoria. As such, you possess the strength to face any challenge. Even though it’s difficult, you can do this.

I silently repeated this affirmation as I accepted his arm and held it loosely as he led me from the room through the silent corridors. Colorful light spilled through the stained glass as dawn tinged the horizon, a sight that should have been beautiful but which I dreaded considering all it symbolized. The enchanted candles flickered to life to illuminate the last of the early morning shadows, a light too weak to dispel the darkness tightening its hold over my heart with every dreaded step.

Neither of us spoke, nor did we look at one another. Despite our proximity, circumstances created a chasm dividing us, such a contrast to the tender moment we’d shared in the courtyard and his sweet concern as I’d healed.

Tears burned my eyes. I bit the inside of my lip to keep them at bay, but I’d never been good at masking my emotions. In the time Ryland and I had spent together, he’d come adept at reading them. Each glimpse in his direction made me believe he wasn’t paying me any attention…but he must have stolen a peek long enough to see the torment I vainly tried to hide, for his footsteps suddenly faltered.

“Evie…” He hesitated. “Are you alright?”

At the worry softening his tone my resolve momentarily faltered.Evie…did he have to use my nickname now,of all times? I was barely clinging to my resolve by the weakest thread. So for his hardened persona to falter just enough for him to speak my name so gently…

I was afraid answering would cause the tears I fought to keep back to finally escape, so I remained silent.

He released my arm and stepped in front of me so he could peer into my face; his stoic determination had vanished, so suddenly it was as if it’d never been there at all. This glimpse of his regret further weakened my resolve, one it was imperative I safeguard for the sake of Estoria and the magic it was my royal duty to protect.

“I’m so sorry, Evie. Please believe me when I assure you I’m not trying to hurt you. This is simply for the best.”

Duty dictated as much, but that didn’t make it any less painful. “Let’s just get it over with.”

Rather than retake his arm, I walked a little ahead of him, this time being the one to lead him through the corridors. Thankfully we weren’t far from the ceremonial chamber. With every step closer our footsteps echoed ominously in time with my heart beating wildly in protest, yet I forced myself to continue forward.

The chamber was abandoned save for the head priest and a few witnesses awaiting us. Gravity shrouded him as he stepped forward. “Are you certain this is what you both desire? No magic is more powerful than a marriage bound by love. To take something so precious and willingly choose to break it…I want to be certain you truly—“

“We’re certain.” Once more Ryland’s tone had hardened. He didn’t look at me, simply stared unwaveringly ahead.

The priest glanced at me for my own answer, but I merely clenched my jaw. Ryland suddenly retook my arm to give it an unexpected squeeze, which was likely meant to be reassuring but which only made it more difficult to nod my own assent.

The priest bowed his head. “Very well, then we shall begin.”

Magic hummed through the air, a language my own budding powers helped me to understand. The ceremony was almost identical to the one that had bound us as husband and wife, similarities which transported me back to the fear and resistance that had tainted our union; the emotions returned, this time to haunt me at the thought of our separation. Yet I pretended to feel nothing but relief, another façade I performed not just for Ryland but for myself, the only way to endure this.