Page 4 of Decoy

He awaited an answer, but speaking would only expose him to my precarious balance between my fragile composure and a faint, so I merely nodded.

He stepped from the shadows that had dutifully shielded him as he’d expertly carried out the horrible deed. His brows drew together as he studied the emotionless mask I’d been trained to wear…yet no amount of practice could hide the turmoil he easily glimpsed raging in my eyes.

“I thought that this time…” His sigh swallowed the disappointment I’d do anything to avoid. “You need to get it together. You’re running out of time.”

How well I knew that. The invisible hourglass measuring each rapidly dwindling day had been causing me undue anxiety for years; soon there’d be no trickling sand remaining and I’d be forced to face the moment I’d spent my entire life dreading.

He cast an indifferent glance towards our victim that even the shadows didn’t prevent me from imagining the sight of in vivid detail. My stomach lurched, and it took considerable effort to suppress my nausea.

“I did the deed, but perhaps you should be the one to—”

I hastened several steps back to increase my distance from the corpse. “No. Please.”

He hesitated before reluctantly nodding. “Very well.” He started to turn back towards our target but paused upon noticing my expression, evidence of my faltering composure. “You’re quite pale. Are you alright? You’re not going to faint, are you?”

There was never a moment during these blasted missions I was everalright. Lightheadedness maintained its claim on my senses as my nails dug into the trunk supporting my body, still weighed with the desire to succumb to the darkness lapping at my consciousness. “I…I’m not sure.”

His frown deepened. “Perhaps you should keep watch from over there.” He gestured in a direction blessedly far from where our target had fallen. Keeping watch was entirely unnecessary for this particular mission, but I gratefully accepted his created excuse to get me away from the place I least wanted to be.

I hurried through the trees, my usually silent footsteps almost discernible due to my frantic need to escape, yet in this moment I couldn’t make myself care about this falter in my superb stealth. I finally arrived at a grove some distance away and collapsed onto my knees.

I yanked my cloth mask down and fought for each ragged breath, soaking in the scent of the earthy night air…yet not even the thick scent of pine could dispel the lingering aroma of blood, nor the knowledge that while I still breathed, our target never would again.

I clutched my stomach with a moan as I curled over and pressed my forehead against the damp undergrowth.Don’t think about it. Just breathe in, breathe out. In, out. Don’t faint.

I silently repeated these words even as my nails dug into the soft earth in a vain attempt to ground myself. I remained in this position until I detected Malik’s return, not through sound or sight but from the familiarity of his presence, as my training as an assassin had made me expertly attuned to.

I instinctively stilled before uncurling from my vulnerable position and hastening to my feet just as Malik emerged from the copse of pines. By his pity I knew my guise hadn’t fooled him; we were too close for him not to sense the weakness I valiantly attempted to hide.

I took a wavering breath. “Is…is it done?” I stammered.

“There’s no trace that anyone was ever there, as if our target merely…disappeared.”

Horror prickled my skin, but I managed a shaky nod before warily eying his dagger. “And did you—”

“Yes, all clean.” He unsheathed the knife and spun it between his fingers. The silvery moonlight reflected off a spotless blade, allowing some of my tension from my rigid posture to ease. His keen observation noticed and he frowned. “You really need to get over this, Luke.” His tone remained patient despite my acting like a child.

I’d been trying with focused effort ever since the beginning of my training, for such a weakness presented quite a difficulty in my field of work. Yet all my efforts to rid myself of it had amounted to nothing, leaving me an utter failure despite my careful reputation.

“Did you get what we needed?” I fought to keep my voice even, only barely managing to by concentrating on not thinking abouthowwe’d acquired the necessary information.

Malik handed me a rolled-up piece of parchment, which I shakily accepted. Despite its small size it felt unbearably heavy, considering it’d been bought with the worst price of all.

“Father will be pleased.”

Malik nodded. “Indeed. He’ll be proud of all you’ve accomplished.”

I snorted. “I’ve accomplished nothing.” Yet the lie we’d been perpetuating for years would continue. Once again Malik’s skilled kill would be tallied as my own, giving me credit I didn’t deserve and enhancing my fearsome reputation. He alone knew the truth: the heir to the most deadly assassin name couldn’t lay claim toanyof my missions. Instead, every success belonged to my dearest friend, who from the beginning had borne my burden as a token of friendship I’d never required compensation for. I didn’t deserve such loyalty, though I was infinitely grateful for it.

Though I was the heir to the most infamous assassin house in the surrounding kingdoms, I’d never been able to kill a single soul. It was my greatest secret, one I’d take to my grave…if it didn’t destroy me first. One day I wouldn’t be able to hide behind Malik’s skills, and then I’d be in trouble.

On impulse, I flexed my hand, feeling the shadow’s constant presence staining my skin. I might have been able to deceive my father and everyone else beneath our assassin name, but the curse wasn’t fooled. If I didn’t act soon, eventually it would claim what it had been promised centuries ago.

Its sinister tainting feeling vanished as Malik rested a comforting hand on my shoulder. “You never give up. Thus I’m certain that one day you’ll be able to do it.”

Would I, though? Even if my aversions could finally leave me in peace, I’d lost years of practice. Father had been giving me missions gradually escalating in difficulty under the assumption I was growing in my strength. Though my assassin skills knew no bounds, they’d never been put to the test. When the inevitable day came when I’d be forced to face one on my own, I feared it’d be well beyond my capacity. Then all we’d built would crumble by my hand, and the fate my family had fought for centuries to avoid would finally come upon us…and it would be all my fault.

I groaned and buried my forehead in my hands. “I’m going to destroy everything.”

---