Page 11 of Vanish

Ryland’s gaze passed over me as he took in the room before resting a conciliatory hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Are you alright? Is this about the new engagement Father is arranging for you now that Princess Lisette is gone?” He kept his tone low to preserve the secrecy masking his words, as if some subconscious part of him sensed my presence his consciousness remained ignorant of.

My heart beat wildly as the full implication of this horrific revelation settled over me.An arrangement with another?I reached within to extract glimpses of a meeting I’d recently witnessed in my invisible state while I helplessly watched, unseen and soundless, from the sidelines.

They reappeared in fragmented patches, the broken recollection just enough to confirm Ryland’s onslaught. With each attack I felt the connection keeping me tethered to the world around me weakening, leaving me subject to the curse’s attempts to submerge me in thenothingnesslying in wait to consume me.

I sought Lucien’s eyes, my silent demand for answers, but shame caused him to guiltily avert his gaze. “It’s not true?” While my whispered tone didn’t penetrate whatever shield protected me from Ryland’s notice, Lucien flinched and cast me a remorseful glance.

“I—” But his apologetic words failed him. He worriedly gauged my reaction, visible even in the darkness of the corner I’d retreated to.

My shock gradually shifted into anger, which deepened into hurt, intimately familiar even midst my vanished memories for how intricately I sensed it had been woven with my life, relentlessly attacking my heart with a force I would do anything to escape.

Desperation drew Lucien near enough to lean towards my ear. “Though I’m acting in accordance to my kingdom’s wishes, nothing is finalized. With your reappearance, our own engagement agreement takes precedence over every other contract.”

His voice trailed off as he glanced at his brother, watching the confusing exchange with a single raised eyebrow. Lucien’s disheartened expression communicated the words he didn’t express loud: with my presence remaining undetected by anyone but Lucien, there was no proof that I still existed for us to claim our engagement…making it essentially void as long as I remained trapped in this existence from which I hadn’t the faintest idea how to escape.

Ryland observed his brother’s escalating alarm with considerable dismay. “It’s been a long time since I’ve witnessed you exhibit so much emotion. I’m admittedly surprised your fiancée’s disappearance has affected you so deeply.”

Lucien stiffened and shot his brother a glance before his anxious eyes sought my corner again. I stared back at him, trying to understand Ryland’s underlying meaning. His words deepened the wounds already afflicted on my heart, increasing my whirling confusion. Lucien had claimed we’d loved one another, yet this reassurance didn’t match his brother’s perception of our relationship that stirred a deeply burrowed truth that forgetfulness hadn’t fully smothered.

Perhaps it wasn’t our forgotten love that connected us and prevented my dull disappearance, but instead our vast distance that kept me from fully reappearing.

Lucien reached for my hand as if hoping to reassure me, but his fingers only grasped at air, reaffirming just how much separated us. He tried reaching for my hand again, but I withdrew. “Lisette…please! Allow me to—”

His frantic whisper wasn’t enough to stretch across the growing chasm between us, but it reached his brother. “Who are you talking to?” Ryland turned towards where Lucien faced, yet still gave no indication he could see me.

Lucien’s breath caught and he lurched forward, and I realized I was fading. “Lisette!”

But his desperate words couldn’t reach me, his regrets futile against my consuming despair. No amount of remorse would change the fact that despite my absent memories that may or may not align with his earlier declaration that we cared for one another, love held no power to connect us without a binding contract, nor could it save me now.

Loneliness, inadequacy, helplessness, pain…I didn’t want to experience this agony anymore; if only they could disappear. The sea of nothingness beckoned me with promises that it would alleviate the burden weighing heavily upon me, wash away all of this hurt until it drifted away, leaving me free.

In response to my silent wish, the curse’s tendrils tightened, coiling about me until the world around me began to fade, as if I was falling into a deep slumber. The last thing I recalled was Lucien’s frantic cry of my name and his wild look as he watched the nothingness once more lay claim over me.

CHAPTER7

Lucien

Horror seared through me as Lisette’s outline grew fainter, as if someone were erasing the outlines of an illustration. Desperate to rescue her from the unseen force slowly devouring her, I frantically reached for her hand to keep her by my side, only to grab nothing but air.

Panic surged. “Lisette!”

Her name seemed to vanish the moment I spoke it, leaving nothing to draw her back to me. I watched helplessly as she melted into her surroundings and completely disappeared. For a long moment I stared at where she had vanished, willing her to return…but her faint form didn’t reappear.

No, she couldn’t be gone; I couldn’t handle losing her again. Desperation weighed upon my heart as I seized the candle off a small table and frantically searched every corner of the room in the settling night, but her wispy form was nowhere to be found—I didn’t even feel her nearby in the way I had before I first saw her. My dread deepened as my futile perusal lengthened. She had truly vanished. Overcome, I collapsed to my knees.

Ryland, who had watched my search in silent concern, knelt beside me and peered into my gaunt face, sleek with sweat, his worry lingering on my shaking hands. “What’s happened?”

I could only imagine how disheveled I looked; the composure I always fought to maintain lay shattered at my feet. None of that mattered in the face of what had just transpired. “Lisette…is gone.”

“I know.” He perused the emotions riddling my expression, no longer carefully hidden behind their usual protective barrier. “You actually cared for her?”

I couldn’t speak, but a response was unnecessary when the secret I’d kept all of these years now lay bare before him. He released a whooshing breath.

“I didn’t know. I’m sorry, Lucien.”

I expected the same judgment and condemnation with which I condemned myself, but I only found understanding midst his shock. I hadn’t expected anyone to comprehend my complicated emotions surrounding my arranged engagement, but I’d forgotten my brother must have endured something similar before he’d fallen in love with his own dutiful match created for a conniving purpose. I longed to open up to him, but there was no time to explore my emotions when Lisette’s fate remained uncertain.

The memory of her hurt when Ryland had mentioned my new pending arrangement consumed my thoughts. I didn’t want that to be the last image I had of her, though it would be fitting considering all the pain my past indifference had likely forced upon her. I’d previously thought her stoic response signified that my disinterest didn’t bother her—that she cared for me as little as I pretended to care for her—but now I wondered if she had also built walls to protect herself, just as I masked my own fragile emotions.

---