An airy gasp that sounded like Lisette's breath catching drifted from where her nearly invisible form still stood cloaked in shadow. I hesitated before nodding.
He sighed. “With my love for my own wife, I can’t possibly imagine the turmoil you’re experiencing. I wish I could offer some reassurance that she can be recovered, but when I caught the curse I immediately received treatment and still was barely saved; even if we could locate her or any of our other disappeared subjects, I suspect too much time has passed to help her. I’m sorry.”
Turmoil rushed through me as I stared at him, torn between despair at the bleak outlook he expected and hope because Lisette’s situation was different from the others. Instinctively my gaze once more sought hers. The fact that she hadn’t fully vanished—at least not to me—meant a chance still existed that we could save her.
As Brimoire’s sole magic user, Evelyn still might be my only hope of breaking Lisette’s curse. She’d expressed her inability to help, but her magical knowledge and skill were rapidly growing as she explored her gift, and perhaps she’d be able to find a way to reach Lisette. But even if she possessed enough power to help, would her abilities extend to being able to rescue someone she couldn’t even see? I resolved to ask her at the earliest opportunity.
I yearned to confide in Ryland as well, but as I stared at his growing concern, my voice remained trapped. I’d spent my life desperate to maintain the proper image of the crown prince, especially in the face of my younger brother whom I often feared was more qualified for the role.
My future as king seemed meaningless in comparison with Lisette’s plight, yet I still needed to maneuver with care. The last thing she and I needed was for rumors to start about my fragile mental state. While my research had so far proven unprofitable, I felt a stab of horror at the thought of being removed from any last chance of discovering how to break the curse for the sake my supposed well-being, as well as the possibility of losing my royal authority and with it any potential of using my connection in an effort to contact the monastery or any others who might be able to provide information should I be deemed unstable.
Remembering how Ryland had lent me his support the night I’d spent searching for Lisette, I wondered if he was encouraging me…or merely humoring me. As I considered how to test the waters, my brother drew a hesitant breath, seeming unsure whether he should continue this undesirable topic. “Evelyn mentioned you believe Lisette is within the palace?”
I sighed, though to be fair I hadn’t asked for her secrecy. I should have known that my sister-in-law wouldn’t keep our conversation just between us, considering she and her husband confided in one another about everything. By Ryland’s delicate tone, this conversation had also included their doubts concerning my belief in Lisette’s lingering presence. Even though their reaction was rational, I couldn’t suppress my sinking feeling; apparently I’d placed more hope in Evelyn’s magic than I realized.
Because I knew the gesture had come from a place of caring, I wasn’t resentful they’d been talking about me; rather I was jealous of their closeness that allowed for such a conversation. I’d never discussed anything remotely so deep with my own fiancée; instead all of our past conversations had been riddled with shallow small talk and uncomfortable silences, something I ached to change even as topics that would interest her remained elusive. Rather than openly pursuing interesting hobbies like my brother, my entire life had been consumed by my duties as the crown prince, which I feared would only bore her.
Ryland experienced a similar hurdle when he and Evelyn first married. This reminder gave me hope that I too could mend the distance between me and my own fiancée, even as I still felt lost on how to go about the arduous task.
I had no time to consider the matter when Ryland interrupted my tumultuous thoughts to inform me that he’d woken me not merely to check on me but for a sudden meeting. He procured some crumpets he’d retrieved from the kitchen for a makeshift breakfast before we made our way to the meeting room where Father awaited us. As I followed Ryland from the study, I cast one last look over my shoulder at Lisette’s face, creased in concern.
Though my brother hadn’t informed me of the nature of this meeting, it wasn’t difficult to guess at possible topics—I suspected that there had either been a development with the steadily worsening curse, with the kingdom of Thorndale after news reached them concerning the fate of their princess, or…dread knotted my stomach at the final possibility that preparations for the new engagement I didn’t want might have progressed.
My trepidation only increased when Lisette followed us like a silent ghost through the corridors. While I was grateful she would remain close so I could keep an eye on her, I felt powerless at the thought that I wouldn’t be able to shield her from whatever we discussed.
Ryland walked just ahead. I sidled closer and lowered my voice so that Lisette wouldn’t risk overhearing. “Is this meeting about my arrangement?”
My heart sank at his nod. “I believe so.”
My desperation to prevent Lisette from accompanying me increased. I never wanted to glimpse the pain she fought to mask ever again. I had the duty as her betrothed to protect and cherish her, only to continuously fail, just as I’d failed to safeguard our kingdom.
I longed to discover a man worthy of her beneath the layers of responsibility that until this point had been my sole defining feature, but the way forward seemed to have been swallowed by the very force keeping my fiancée just out of reach.
Ryland misread the deepening distress he noticed in his sideways glance. “It’s unlike you to display so much emotion. Are you worried that your upcoming arrangement will be as disastrous as your first? I’m sure you’ll grow to care for her like I did Evelyn.”
My head swiveled towards Lisette in horror, knowing she must have heard and wondering how she would interpret the words. Without knowledge of her presence, Ryland had no reason to keep his voice down; even from several meters away I sensed her stiffen, attuned to her reaction by the invisible connecting force that allowed me to see her at all.
An emotion akin to jealousy filled her expression when I worriedly met her eyes. While I hated the thought of causing her any further distress, I couldn’t help also feeling a small measure of satisfaction—her envy served as promising evidence that perhaps she reciprocated some of my unrequited affection.
“My first wasn’t a disaster!” I nearly stumbled over my words in my desperation for my reassurances to prevent Lisette from choosing to fade away because of my brother’s mistaken assumption. “I love Lisette.”
His eyebrows rose. “Then your first task is to improve how you demonstrate your affection so it doesn’t come as such a surprise.” Thankfully he didn’t further elaborate on my failures during my previous courtship, whose details would only contradict my heartfelt confession and nourish Lisette’s doubt in the relationship she still couldn’t remember…an inadequacy that only confirmed my fear that I wasn’t a worthy match for her.
Fueled with the prospect of a second chance, I resolved to become worthy, a purpose difficult to fulfill when my inexperience left me unsure how to progress…especially with the added challenge that Lisette was not only invisible but had no memories of our previous relationship to help me better understand where we went wrong, leaving me no choice but to continue making it up as I went along.
How could I make up for the mistakes of my past when I had no knowledge of the expectations in a courtship beyond the shallow charade performed by the court?
Ryland seemed the best person to go to for advice, considering he both understood the pressures of my station and had found a way to achieve happiness himself, yet I wasn’t sure how to navigate asking such delicate questions while my fiancée listened in.
“Could I ask for your advice on…something?” I began haltingly. My brother looked at me expectantly as I fidgeted with my cravat. “I—well—you and Evelyn…”
“Is this about her magic?” Ryland prompted when I stalled.
I stifled a groan. “No, I’m hoping you could advise me on…” I fumbled through my pockets until I found the notebook I always carried with me; I’d used it for taking notes during last night’s research. Furtively shielding it from Lisette’s view, I flipped to a blank page and scrawledcourtship methods,angling it towards Ryland.
His eyes widened, probably wondering about my secrecy considering we were the only visible people in the hallway.
“For the new—” His words faltered when I vehemently shook my head. A look of mixed sympathy and puzzlement crossed his face as he glanced around us, as if hoping to catch a glimpse of Lisette. He finally sighed and offered an apologetic shrug.