Page 22 of Vanish

Moments before my weak hold faltered, a familiar voice rescued me. “Princess Lisette is not yet fully vanished.”

My fading surroundings suddenly shifted back into focus. I hastily blinked to find everyone in the meeting room staring at Lucien—standing feet braced and back tight with tension, but head held high. I stared in amazement as he stood up to the men I’d lived in fear of my entire life, boldly declaring my existence until his brother hustled him from the room.

I followed him in a daze as he and Ryland walked to his father’s study to meet with the king. Never had anyone risked humiliation and censure for my sake. Along with the warmth that came from being valued, I felt a rising hope. Could we truly show that I was still connected to this world, and perhaps with so many working to free me from the curse, finally discover a cure?

Lost in these thoughts, I sat through the endless meetings that followed. But as they dragged on my initial hope began to fade as reality set in—even if there was a possibility of my safe return, Thorndale would never give up their chance to gain a crippling hold on Brimoire. Dimly I wondered if this had been the plan from the beginning—to willingly place me in harm’s way, not just to ensure the dowry but to give Father a reason to invade.

At the thought a long-buried memory rose darkly to the surface. After spending my early childhood with my birth mother—a woman whose name I could no longer remember but who’d had the misfortune to catch my father’s eye and become pregnant with his child—I’d been taken from her to live at the palace.

I was still growing accustomed to living in grandeur and occasionally being displayed as the princess at court functions, while thankfully left to my own devices the rest of the time. One evening I wandered the richly adorned hallways, peering into rooms and imagining that my true mother waited for me in one of them; my little fingers curled around my necklace as I wished as hard as my young heart could that she would come back for me.

Voices drifted from a partially ajar door. I cautiously peeked inside to find the queen adjusting the king’s cravat as they prepared to go to the dining hall. She smoothed the gilt lace into place. “What will you do if they refuse?”

Father frowned and I shrank back even though his ire was not directed at me…at least this time. “I will not allow them to refuse,” he said. “I will find their weakness and exploit it. This might be the perfect opportunity for Lisette to finally prove useful to me.”

A dark shadow crossed the queen’s face. “Don’t mention her name. I can’t bear the sight or the thought of her. She’s nothing but a horrible reminder of—”

“You’ll have to get used to it,” Father snapped. “To everyone outside our inner circle she is our child. You need to do a better job of behaving like her mother.”

The queen’s shoulders drooped. “I know,” she murmured. “But it’s so hard.”

“We can’t let things fall apart now,” the king warned, his tone unfeeling. “I’ve spent years planning how to obtain more than just the pittance we’re receiving now; once everything is in place, we’ll finally have unlimited access to the—”

He cut off abruptly, his gaze darting towards the slightly open door. I escaped on hurried tiptoe down the hall, vanishing into the shadows before he could reach the doorway.

As I mulled over the recollection now, something nagged at me. Though my father and his wife never let me forget the shame of my illegitimate birth, I had always been introduced as the princess of Thorndale. But as I remembered my father’s words, I had a sudden, sickening thought: what if Lucien had no idea what my background was? Had my true identity been concealed from Brimoire in order to arrange our alliance? Worst of all, would Lucien reject me when he discovered the truth?

The more I considered it, the more likely it seemed. Surely the kingdom of Brimoire would not have made a marriage alliance for their crown prince with me had they known. An illegitimate daughter who did not even know her birth mother’s name would never be accepted as a future queen. Despair coiled around my heart. Even if Lucien found a way to free me from the curse, I wasn’t sure we could truly be together.

I felt a familiar tightening sensation in my chest, accompanied by the feeling of struggling for air. I took a deep, gasping breath but my dizziness only increased. I sank to the floor, curling into a ball as my lips turned numb and I tried to focus on slow, even breaths. Anxiety had riddled my life, though I hadn’t had an episode like this since becoming invisible.

As my panic swelled, the curse rose along with it, seducing me with the reminder that this misery could end if I succumbed. I gave a muffled cry, wondering if there was any reason to keep fighting when it was likely my engagement would be broken whether or not I escaped my invisibility. I could hear nothing but the curse’s menacing whispers, urging me to give up the horror of my current existence.

Shakily I tried to reach out with my senses, remembering how I’d thought I detected Aira’s presence before. She had always helped me in the past when anxiety overwhelmed me. There was no response to my desperate plea and I felt myself slipping, losing my tenuous hold on the world…until a hand suddenly brushed mine.

I opened my eyes to see Lucien kneeling beside me, eyes wide with dismay. “What’s wrong, Lisette?” He grasped uselessly at my hand, leaving behind not the lack of feeling or faint tingling we’d previously experienced, but a coldness as if I’d been dipped in ice. Though I was still caught in anxiety’s grip, the harsh sensation was enough to fully return me to the present.

I managed a gasping breath. “I sometimes get these…episodes,” I stammered. “My handmaiden usually helps me through them.”

“Let me help you instead.” His tone was achingly gentle, encouraging me to rely on him

“What about the meeting?” I weakly raised my head to discover that the room was empty and long shadows spread across the floor.

“It’s over. What do you need me to do?” Lucien bent closer.

“Aira asked—” I paused as another tremor shuddered through my body. “Name five things. Favorites.” It was hard to force words past my cold lips.

Lucien blinked as he attempted to process my request. Settling himself on the floor beside me, he drew my hand into his lap, gently stroking it.

“I’ll start. I like waking early enough to accomplish as much as I can before the sun rises, visiting the garden my mother planted, fresh scones with strawberry jam, and…history.” There was a hint of hesitation in the last word, as though he were confessing more than it seemed.

I held up five fingers.

“Right. The fifth one is getting to know you better. What are your five favorites?”

The mention of his mother’s garden reminded me that we had both lost our mothers, though for all I knew mine was still alive. I put a hand to my heart where my pendant still hung.

“My mother’s necklace,” I whispered, getting the words out with an effort. “Daffodils. The swing in the palace garden. Reading a book in a tucked-away corner of my library. And getting letters from you.”

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