Page 28 of Vanish

I’d expected to see a reflection of the shimmery outline currently comprising my form, but the only thing that showed up within the glass was the letter I held, creating the sensation that it was floating in mid-air. It appeared that the magic that allowed Lucien to see me didn’t apply to myself.

I hastily dropped the stack of letters back into the drawer, shoving them through the narrow opening just as Lucien stirred with a rather adorable sleepy moan and sat up, blinking blearily at the clock on the mantle before jolting more fully awake with a gasp. “I’ve overslept!”

His frantic gaze sought me out, and after assuring himself that I hadn’t faded away in the hours he slept, his blankets tangled around his legs as he scrambled to his feet, nearly causing him to trip in his haste to the wardrobe. His indiscernible frustrated mutterings were soon masked by the sounds of his chaotic rummaging through his clothes.

I watched in fascination. His disheveled hair stuck up at all angles, and the clothes that he had now worn for three days without changing were rumpled and wrinkled—the opposite of the portrait of a proper prince I’d come to expect, yet somehow his imperfections made him all the more handsome.

He paused his frantic search to look up at me in wide-eyed realization. “I can’t change with you in the room…but I’m afraid of being apart from you for too long.” He stood with his arms bulging with mismatched outfits, trapped in uncertainty.

“The fact we spent hours apart the first day means we likely can spend some time a short distance apart.”

“But what if we’re mistaken? I would never forgive myself if you disappeared just because I needed to change my clothes.”

I managed a smile. “Nothing will break our promised courtship so easily.” The words felt strange on my tongue, making me wonder after my discoveries during the night just how strong our courtship actually was.

When he remained unmoving, I took the initiative to head towards the door, but my hand only went through the knob—it appeared that my ability to lift a single letter didn’t translate to heavier objects or those without an emotional connection. The door was no barrier to my translucent form, but before I could slide through it like a ghostly phantom, Lucien rushed forward to chivalrously open it for me.

“I’ll be but a moment; please remain close and don’t disappear,” he pleaded.

There were too many lingering mysteries for me to go anywhere. Before I could reassure him, the guard standing rigidly just outside glanced over with furrowed brows, seeming to take no notice of me. “It is my duty to remain at my post, Your Highness.”

Lucien startled, nearly dropping his armful of clothes as he faced his guard. “Right. Thank you for your service.”

He crouched to pick up his scattered garments, something that took several attempts when his fluster only caused him to drop them again. I bent down to help him, but my hands only slid through the fabric as they had with the doorknob.

“It’s alright, I’ve got it,” Lucien insisted before he stiffened and cast the guard still watching him another embarrassed look. The moment he retrieved his clothes and made a safe retreat into his room, I heard him groan, the door not thick enough to muffle his frustration. “What an image for the crown prince to bear. He undoubtedly thinks I’m talking to myself like a lunatic.”

Though the situation shouldn’t be amusing I found my lips twitching, especially at the guard’s bewildered look as he stared after Lucien before shaking his head and resuming his post. He continued to stare unwaveringly ahead even after I experimented walking past him several times to see if the movement would draw his notice, but just as before I remained out of sight.

Though being seen by Lucien’s guard would only create unnecessary complications, it bothered me that I couldn’t be noticed even if I wanted to be, an unexpected desire that went against my usual tendency to blend into my surroundings as a form of protection.

I finally gave up my attempts at visibility and stood in front of Lucien’s room to wait, a time that seemed to lengthen with my missing him, a promising emotion considering my concerns about our relationship. After several restless minutes I detected movement on the other side of the door. I broke my rigid posture and leaned against it…but rather than rest my ear against the smooth wood, my entire body fell through, sending me tumbling to the ground inside Lucien’s chamber.

After I settled in a flurry of tangled skirts and an awkward position that would have been quite painful if I still had a body, the first thing I noticed upon hastily straightening was Lucien looming half-dressed over me, his shirt hanging listlessly in his slackened grip, offering nothing to obscure my view of his bare chest.

A pleasant flutter tickled my stomach as I took in his firm muscles, toned from his years of sword training. But then I met his wide, startled eyes; if mortification was a force that could make me disappear, this situation alone was cause for me to vanish forever and never return.

I finally summoned enough discipline to look away. “My apologies, I didn’t mean—I momentarily forgot that I’m invisible, so when I leaned against the door to wait…I tumbled through it.” The situation might have been amusing if not for my burning mortification, an emotion strong enough to surpass the limits of the curse to heat my cheeks.

He didn’t respond nor look up from where he’d buried his blush in his hands, a position that did little to cover up the chiseled chest I couldn’t look away from. I experienced the strangest urge to run my fingertips across his muscles—a gesture far more bold than my earlier innocent exploration of his hair—and was for once immensely grateful I couldn’t actually touch him.

He suddenly remembered himself and hastily finished dressing, his muscles tightening in an appealing way as he pulled his shirt over his head. My blush flared and I hastily averted my gaze. After a moment’s pause he approached and crouched in front of me to better peer into my face.

“I can’t believe I subjected my fiancée to something so dishonorable. Words alone cannot convey my regret.”

I pushed through my crippling shyness in order to peer up at him. Crimson stained his cheeks, but even midst his embarrassment his look was gentle with understanding. “It’s my fault for falling through the door.”

“You have nothing to apologize for. I’m amazed how well you’re navigating your current condition.” His lips twitched. “I confess such an unexpected interruption has never occurred as I’ve prepared for the day. You’ve made my life so much brighter.”

My heart fluttered at the sentiment, a draw more powerful than the one from accidentally stumbling in on him topless, adding brushstrokes of color to a world once cast in hues of grey to bring meaning where it didn’t used to exist.

He cleared his throat. “Forgive me, we shouldn’t interact until I’m more presentable.” He self-consciously smoothed down his messy hair still dripping from his hurried bath, as if that alone would be enough to make his appearance more presentable, before deliberately turning his back on me, giving me a new but equally pleasant view of his musculature.

“You’re more approachable when you’re not behaving as a perfect prince.” I wasn’t sure where my recollections of his intimidating stoicism came from when I constantly felt I was drawing from an empty well, only that the knowledge came from a part of me deeper than my vanished memories.

He stilled before glancing over his shoulder at me, eyes bulging. “What?”

“You’re rather intimidating when you’re closed off; it makes it difficult to know how to interact with you. I prefer you this way.” Normally I wouldn’t be brave enough to share such thoughts, but his vulnerability brought by the awkwardness from accidentally walking in on him while changing had caused one of the barriers preventing us from drawing closer to crumble.

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