Page 38 of Vanish

Aira hadn’t visited during the night—whether due to the restrictions of the vanished land where she currently resided that limited her visits, or because she somehow sensed her presence wasn’t needed to stoke the distrust against Lucien that she’d been encouraging ever since our reunion.

I almost wished for her presence so I could gather the details she remembered from my past and try to reconcile them with all Lucien and I had been building in our present. Even if I could remember the details of my life lost to the fog of forgetfulness, I doubted I possessed enough knowledge to navigate these uncharted waters. And much as I feared the knowledge Aira would share, the escalating stress of missing information made it increasingly difficult to focus on our relationship and on defeating the curse.

I pondered the matter throughout the morning and later as I studied him at his desk, once more bent over stacks of papers even before the sun had fully risen. He immersed himself in his work, completely ignoring the breakfast tray brought by a concerned maid. His diligence demonstrated a strength of character that made me doubt he would deceive me, further strengthened when each moment together testified of a devotion too real to be insincere.

I floated close enough to brush his shoulder, the perfect opportunity to test my recent theory that the more I was seen, the further I freed myself from invisibility’s shroud. At first the touch went through him as it always had before, but my desire for his notice strengthened my will to become more visible. With concentrated effort my hand tingled before growing slightly heavier, a sign that it now possessed enough tangibility to reach for him and draw his coveted notice.

At my light touch he tore his rapt attention away from his work to bestow it upon me. Even with the weariness lining his haggard expression, his gaze was soft as he met my own. “Is there something you need, Lisette?”

I pointed to his untouched breakfast impatiently waiting near his elbow. “You should take a break.” He started to shake his head in protest, but I continued before he could verbalize his disagreement. “If you can sacrifice your time to help me to the extent that you’re willing to forgo meals and sleep, then I can match your sacrifice by waiting a little longer for potential answers to breaking my curse.”

Whether or not I could trust him was still to be determined, but the fact remained I’d grown to care enough for him to value his well-being, even at the temporary expense of my own.

He glanced at the tray of food in surprise. “I confess I didn’t notice the maid had brought me food. I suppose I’ve once again allowed myself to get carried away.” He pushed the book he’d been perusing away with a resigned sign and pulled the tray closer, pausing upon noticing my expression. “You seem rather pleased with yourself.”

Dazed, I lifted a finger to lightly trace the smile I hadn’t realized caressed my lips. It took me a moment to uncover the hidden memory that had stirred to life by the exchange. “I think I’m surprised you listened to me. From what I can remember, I’m used to my wishes going unheeded.”

His expression sobered. “You don’t deserve to be ignored.”

“Nor do you deserve to neglect your well-being.”

“I suppose relationships go both ways.” He spoke as if he’d never considered such a possibility.

Even without losing his memories to the curse’s erasing force, he seemed as much in the dark about love as I was. This should have acted as further evidence of Aira’s accusations against him, but instead I found reassurance that he understood what I’d previously feared to be a limitation, allowing us to work in overcoming this obstacle together.

I monitored Lucien closely for several minutes as he obediently ate his now lukewarm eggs and toast until my attention was momentarily drawn to the window overlooking a rather surprising view—the growing morning light illuminated Prince Ryland and Princess Evelyn as they scoured the garden path. I squinted, but couldn’t make out what they were doing in their crouched positions.

Though they’d promised to help us break the invisibility curse, I didn’t begrudge them taking a moment for themselves. Last night they’d given us a report on their progress detailing their limited findings that put them at a standstill until they heard back from the monastery or Evelyn received the magical tomes she’d sent for from Estoria.

I had no doubt they would return to their work in short order. In contrast Lucien showed no sign of stopping—in my brief distraction he’d already returned to his book with toast in hand, dedication for my behalf and that of his kingdom that both amazed and frustrated me.

A burst of emotion swelled and I slammed his book shut. He blinked at it in astonishment. “You were able to touch it.” As if testing his theory of my current tangibility, he experimentally poked at my hand, which still pressed down on the cover. For the moment, my translucent body was solid.

He sucked in a breath, his eyes widening in wonder, but I was currently too frustrated to celebrate this progress. “Thebreakin breakfast means that for the moment you’re not allowed to work.” I gave him a firm glare, such a contrast to my usual timidity.

Though he made no protest, he stared at me with a look that was rather lost, as if he wasn’t sure what to do himself without his many responsibilities. An idea seemed to occur to him and he grew thoughtful. “You’re right, I want to do more than serve you; I want to also spend time with you.”

He swiveled his seat so his back blocked the lure of his papers and balanced his breakfast tray on his knees. I watched as he nibbled on his toast since I could not accompany him in eating.

“Have you always been interested in studying?” I asked. “I seem to recall you carrying around a notebook even before I was cursed, often pausing to write things down.”

His cheeks flushed slightly as he unconsciously touched the pocket that I suspected still housed the notebook in question. “Yes, I’ve always found books fascinating, particularly true accounts. But I’ve rarely had time to read until now, when my research might shed light on your predicament.”

The silence stretched long as he sipped his tea. Though I’d managed to secure his focus, once more we found ourselves at the uncertain crossroads each leading to dozens of potential paths our conversation could explore. We’d managed to traverse several in the nights we’d stayed up late talking, courses that first appeared to be rough and difficult to navigate growing smoother with practice.

Movement from outside returned my gaze to the window. The sun had risen higher, allowing me to better see what the prince and princess were doing outdoors so early. My brow furrowed. “Are they collectingrocks?”

Lucien gratefully seized this random topic to break our unbearable silence with a nod. “My brother has always found them fascinating.” By his tone, he didn’t need to elaborate on his thoughts that he found it to be a rather strange and frivolous pastime.

“Rocks?” I blinked, not certain I’d accurately heard him, even as I couldn’t deny that Ryland and Evelyn each had an armful, cradling them as one might jewels.

He shrugged. “At first they only interested my brother, but ever since their marriage Evelyn has enthusiastically joined him, while he’s likewise become a participant in her own hobbies. I’m still at a loss as to how my brother was able to woo his wife over a pile of stones.”

My own inexperience with romance made it seem rather strange, leaving me to wonder if I’d been complicating our courtship. “Perhaps it’s not the rocks themselves but the act of collecting them together. I suppose if you’re in love, any hobby can become interesting so long as you’re spending time with one another.”

Lucien tilted his head in thought. “Which explains why you didn’t seem to mind my attempts to woo you over curse research.”

He tried to smile but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. I recognized the vulnerability clouding his gaze, as well as the unnamed emotion also filling them that I shared—fear that our interests wouldn’t be enough to be accepted by the other. This belief had been reinforced my entire life, acting as another chain safeguarding my heart ever since I’d entered this arrangement with Lucien.

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