Page 53 of Vanish

“You seemed to realize that when I entered the room.”

“I’ve been searching for your presence ever since you vanished. Why have you faded again? Things seemed to be going well when we—” Crimson brushed his cheeks to allude to our kiss.

Though I’d predicted this inevitable conversation, I wasn’t entirely sure I was prepared for it, leaving silence as my only response.

He continued caressing my face until his touch suddenly fell through me. Panic widened his eyes.“Lisette? You’re still here, aren’t you?”

“I am.” But as before these words were swallowed up.

He dropped his hand with a look akin to pain. At the severed connection I could feel myself fading, but fought to remain. “I still sense your presence, but it’s growing fainter. Why are you slipping away from me?”

Helplessness pressed against my chest that I had no answer for him—no matter how many steps our relationship progressed, the loneliness I’d grown so accustomed to I couldn’t imagine anything different seemed determined to pull us apart.

“Don’t leave, Lisette. Please, please stay with me.”

Some unseen force guided his hand to curl back around my cheek, and though this time neither of us could feel the gesture it didn’t make it any less real. Whether his devotion tethered me to the visible world or my perception of myself caused me to drift into the unseen unknown, he never ceased to look at me. Surely that was enough.

His eyes brightened. “Lisette!”

I glanced down at my faintly see-through hands, as if only a shadow of myself had reappeared…and the connection I’d been trying to forge ever since first succumbing to the curse finally lit my mind with epiphany. “I think I appear whenever I feel seen, either by myself or others.”

Lucien’s touch left a trail of goosebumps as it slid down my arm and curled around my hand with a determination never to let go. “I’ll always see you. Please tell me how I can better do so; I never want to lose sight of you again.”

That answer almost seemed more elusive than the curse’s lingering mysteries that threatened to smother me, made more difficult to decipher when he started playing with my fingers, his thumb caressing up and down each one by one, making it impossible to think clearly.

My breath caught and he froze, as if just realizing what he was doing. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t—“ He released me, but before he could withdraw I snatched his hand, my communication without words that I welcomed his affection, the first step in mending the distance I myself had invoked.

I’d no sooner woven my fingers back through his when he extracted his hand from my desperate grip, leaving me feeling almost bare without his touch. “Wait, before we go any further, there’s something I need to tell you.”

As much as I yearned for him to finally confess his deceit, I felt anxious to finally discover the reasons behind it, my doubts rising to the surface as I wondered if my own flaws had contributed. I tried to reassure myself in the lengthy silence that followed, but no matter how long I waited, he couldn’t seem to find the right words.

He finally swallowed. “Did you receive my letter?”

Disappointment mingled with relief twinged at his change in subject. “I did. It was a beautiful letter.”

“I’m glad you liked it, though it was incomplete—there is so much more I wanted to say, so many more things I need to tell you.”

I held my breath, waiting. Though I hadn’t planned for how this interaction would unfold, I’d at least imagined it wouldn’t end without me confronting him on the lies he’d chosen to tell, but every accusation faded in the face of the regret filling his eyes. I wanted him to be the one to confess his secret, a token that he too wanted to create something real between us so we could finally begin to heal and move forward.

When he finally spoke he did so slowly, as if struggling to find the right words. “I’d hoped my letter would serve as a testament that no matter the mistakes I’ve made, I’ll never give up on you. Even when my past actions seem to contradict my most earnest wish, I assure you I’ve always only had your best interests in mind.”

I waited for him to continue, but he simply stared at our entwined hands before hesitantly resuming his tantalizing caress. Neither of us spoke as he explored my hand, lost in the simple yet tender moment. With each stroke feelings coursed over me in tune with my wildly pounding heart, stoking my longing for him until it threatened to completely overcome me.

“I’m sorry, I’ve distracted you from your work.” My found voice emerged breathlessly when I couldn’t bear the intense silence a moment longer. I inwardly groaned as I realized that my comment, blurted out in my discomfort, led our conversation away from the important subject we so deeply needed to discuss.

But Lucien gratefully seized this diverging topic. “I’ve been studying your curse. Breaking it has only grown more urgent since Father gave me an ultimatum after I told him you hadn’t fully vanished—he’ll finalize my engagement to another if I can’t break your curse by week’s end.” He made no effort to mask his devastation, such a contrast to the stoic manner that had always hidden his emotions during our first courtship.

Once more jealousy pricked my heart at the thought of losing him, even as it swelled at his forthright honesty. He had no way of knowing I’d overheard his conversation with the king, yet had chosen to trust me enough to confide in me, a promising step in the healing of our relationship.

“Have you discovered anything?”

Without releasing me, he reached behind him for the top book in the teetering stack. “Not yet, but since we’ve found very little through researching curses relating to invisibility, I’m searching for another angle to approach it from.”

I already had a possible path. Tingly warmth engulfed my fingers as it curled around my pendant.

He softly smiled down at our intertwined hands. “The longer I touch you, the more you seem to appear. If this is all that is required to break your curse, then perhaps it’ll be easier than I anticipated.”

I doubted it would be that simple, especially considering the stories about curses I’d read about in my fairytales before Father had taken them away had demonstrated that curses were more complicated than they initially appeared, typically requiring a great act of wisdom, bravery, or sacrifice.

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