Page 54 of Vanish

He seemed to sense my discouragement. “Please don’t worry. No matter what is required or how long it takes, even if Father’s deadline has passed I won’t rest until I rescue you. I promise, Lisette.” He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze, one I ached to return even as there was still so much unresolved between us.

“Why do you care so much?”

“Because I love you.” Sincerity filled each word and the blazing look shining in his eyes.

I desperately needed to believe him, and most of me did, even with the accusation concerning his deceit burning my lips and my own heartfelt confession aching to escape. Instead, I tentatively spoke the most difficult words I’d ever uttered.

“I trust you.”So please,show me you’re deserving of it.

His gaze seeped into mine as he searched what little he could see of my expression, as if looking for the deeper meaning of my words. I wasn’t sure how visible I appeared, but it must have been enough for him to detect my sincerity.

“Lisette.” Longing and pain cradled my name. I ached to assure him that no matter what he had to confide in me, it wouldn’t change the fact that each joyous moment with him had been special…but I remained silent, waiting for him to speak.

His resolve deepened and he slowly leaned closer, so close his breath caressed my lips; I instinctively drew nearer to meet him halfway, drawn by the feelings he’d ignited within me. I sensed we were at a crossroads that would forever change the course of our romance. Wherever this moment would lead, I wasn’t strong enough to stop it…if I even wanted to.

CHAPTER23

Lucien

My heart pounded so wildly I feared it’d beat right out of my chest. Lisette seemed to sense the importance of the matter I wished to discuss; her shy green eyes gazed deeply into mine as she patiently awaited the confession I knew more than anything I needed to give, even as my desperation to keep her held the words back.

I’d spent a lot of time pondering the possible reasons for her second disappearance, my memory dwelling less on our sweet kiss that had occurred moments before and more on the hurt filling her eyes—a look I knew that my mistakes and weaknesses had caused more times than I could count, and infinitely more than she deserved.

Which made it all the more imperative that I reveal the truth so she could finally begin to heal. I pondered the necessary words, but no matter how I rearranged them I couldn’t figure out how to tell her, even as I knew I’d stalled this conversation long enough. I needed to stop lying, to give her the courtesy of complete honesty if we had any hope of picking up the pieces I’d singlehandedly shattered.

With a wavering breath I tightened my hold around her hand, savoring the connection while I could in case my confession might cause her to pull away.

“When you first reappeared, I told you that we had loved one another. I’m afraid that wasn’t exactly the truth. While my feelings for you are real, I’d never found the chance to share them with you, nor had I given you any reason to believe I harbored any affection. Despite what I led you to believe, in truth you didn’t seem to love me. Yet I saw an opportunity to restart our relationship that had faltered, and made the foolish, hurtful decision to let you believe that my feelings for you were mutual and that we had a shared past of love and companionship, the story that I wished more than anything had been true. I’m so sorry.”

Rather than the anger I expected from such an admission, instead her eyes lit up. “You really love me?” Her voice was weak with disbelief and a sweet hope that nourished my own.

I nodded earnestly. “While I want nothing more than to keep your trust and the affection growing between us, I’ve come to realize that it's more important to be honest…even if it means you never fully return to me. But even if my dishonorable actions cause you to wish to part ways, I will still help break your curse so that you can be free. I only want what’s best for you.”

I tensed as I awaited her judgment, but rather than the harsh condemnation I expected and wholly deserved, to my surprise a smile softly caressed her lips. “I’ve been awaiting your confession. I’m so glad you told me.”

It took a moment for the full meaning of her words to settle over me. “You mean youknew?”

Guilt drew her gaze downwards. “Only since my memories returned; our kiss seemed to be the key to unlocking the true nature of our first courtship.”

“So that’s why you vanished again.” My heart wrenched; as I’d feared, it’d been my fault after all. If she had never reappeared, my lies that had initially been told to keep her with me might have had the opposite effect, causing me to lose her forever.

Her glassy gaze sought mine, as if seeking something beyond my confession. “Why did you lie?”

“You are not the only one who vanished—my true self disappeared behind my role of crown prince, causing my true feelings to come across as indifferent or distant. I’ve always cared for you, but I allowed my determination to do my duty as well as my hesitance upon noticing your own withdrawal to keep me from exhibiting my affection, leading you to falsely believe me indifferent when nothing could be further from the truth. It was partly from what I hope was a good motive—I thought the curse might target you if I seemed to care about you—but I allowed that charade to become all you saw of me. I hoped that pretending we’d always been in love would both give you a reason to remain in the visible world and bless us with the second chance I longed for to finally make our relationship real.”

Silence settled around us as she pondered my response, but not the tense one I’d expected after finally revealing the truth—this one was comfortable, an almost peaceful feeling I never would have expected after exposing my vulnerabilities to the one I most wanted to impress.

Even though I no longer hid behind the role I’d clung to in a futile effort to protect myself, Lisette didn’t pull away, accepting me even in my weaknesses, just as I accepted her despite her own. Perhaps this was what love truly was—not something fabricated, but an emotion that could only grow naturally after dedicated nourishment.

My desperation to know her thoughts and reassure myself that she didn’t hate me compelled me to penetrate the calming yet uncertain quiet I couldn’t bear any longer. “Are you alright?” I gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, one she returned after a moment’s hesitation.

“I am. I appreciate your being honest with me.”

Her sweet words of forgiveness washed over me, giving me hope for our future and nourishing my intense desire to do all in my power not only to break the curse, but to nurture her heart…which reminded me that I had one more confession to make.

“I also need to apologize for letting our relationship be so impersonal and distant. I did not truly see you then as you needed and deserved, and failed to realize what you were going through. At first I wanted to give you space to become comfortable enough to open up, but then I allowed my duties to distract me from realizing how you were suffering in your home situation and failed in my duty to protect and cherish you. I regret the years we lost when we could have been coming to know one another and giving each other much needed support.”

Lisette tilted her head as she considered my words. “You were not the only one who made mistakes—I didn’t know how to have a healthy relationship or to share the deepest parts of myself, and in my fear closed myself off from you. Much as I longed for a true heart bond with you during those years, I can understand why we did not find it then. We both needed to grow before we could truly show love.”

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