Page 9 of Vanish

I had no excuse for not even taking the time to properly mourn the fate that had befallen her, yet another sin against her to add to those already marring my soul. Even through her verbal onslaught I couldn’t help but be awed at how many words she’d strung together, as if the curse had snatched not only her body but also some of the reservation that usually held her back.

She made to speak again, but her next words abruptly cut off when her translucid form suddenly faded like ripples settling against a lake. “Lisette?” I lurched forward to where she’d been but moments before, yet my frantic desperation grasped at nothing. Panic surged. “Lisette!”

At my frantic cry, her silhouette flickered briefly into view before fading once more. I didn’t avert my gaze from where she’d vanished, willing her to return into view. At my silent plea, the transparent outline forming her delicate features gradually came into focus, like a painting being formed one brushstroke of grey at a time.

I released a whooshing breath. “Lisette.”

Confusion marred the expression I could faintly discern, along with weariness, as if her effort to remain exhausted her. “Your voice seems to be the only thing keeping me from drifting away.”

If that was true, then nothing would compel me to leave her side. My heart swelled at having something tangible I could do to prevent her from vanishing, but also the hope that this connection keeping her here meant that perhaps my show of indifference throughout our relationship hadn’t been the only performance.

My fading worry returned in a rush when she suddenly gasped and pressed a see-through hand against her forehead. I reached for her. “Are you alright? Are you in pain?” Without a body I had hoped she wasn’t suffering from any discomfort, but now that I considered it, being trapped within the tendrils of a curse was undoubtedly disconcerting at the least, and quite possibly agonizing.

She didn’t immediately answer, and when she finally met my gaze she looked momentarily confused before recognition returned. “Lucien.” Her tone sounded as if she’d cast my name as a desperate lifeline. At my nod, the outline of her shoulders sank with relief. “For a moment I’d forgotten who you were, one of many recollections I seem to have lost.”

My heart lurched. “Has the curse taken those as well?” Unsurprisingly it spared nothing in its merciless consumption.

She nodded with a weary sigh. “From what I can tell, I seem to be trapped in an in-between state. I can only recall snippets, mostly of the recent events—I was on my way to marry you and my entourage stumbled upon the disappearing curse. Yet everything that came before…”

“You mean, you don’t remember our relationship?”

She shook her head. My heart pounded wildly at the idea that suddenly occurred to me, a miraculous possibility borne from all my years of regret and heartache like a phoenix rising from the ashes. I retained just enough sound judgment to experience the proper dishonor, yet the bounds I’d placed around my heart all of these years to keep it in check had broken the moment I learned of Lisette’s fate, giving it full rein over all sense.

“You truly don’t remember?” I had to be sure before my cowardice singlehandedly ruined everything. Hope sparked at her second confirmation, illuminating a new path I never would have considered a possibility.

My conscience flared.You mustn’t, Lucien; a relationship that develops from a lie is no relationship at all. But the opportunity consumed me, dictating my next words without conscious control. While dishonesty would create a weak structure upon which to build a relationship, any foundation was better than the nothing we’d forged since our engagement.

With a wavering breath I carefully stripped away the mask I’d spent years hiding beneath, allowing my locked away emotions to soften the hardness that usually comprised my expression and the tenderness I always withheld to fill my features.

“Then allow me to remind you: we are not only engaged, but are deeply in love.”

I wove the story from the narrative I wanted nothing more than to rewrite to the dream I most desired. My previous distance and lies had done nothing to protect her, while losing her had filled me with regret for what could have been if duty hadn’t made me a coward. I needed her kept not at arm’s length but at my side where she belonged, especially if I had any hope of saving her.

Puzzlement furrowed her brow. “Pardon?”

My heart wrenched at her doubt, though my behavior up until this point made such a reaction one I wholly deserved. Even if she couldn’t remember the details of our relationship, they must have left a subconscious impression upon her, giving her no positive memory to fill in the missing details brought by the curse-inflicted amnesia.

I would have a long road ahead in replacing every shadow I’d ever caused to fill her heart with light, one memory at a time, yet I couldn’t dread the journey with its promised destination. For the first time since her disappearance, true hope surged within me—not just a vain wish but an actual attainable goal, one I was determined we would reach together as we freed her from the curse’s effects and replaced our miserable, apathetic relationship with a close and vibrant one.

I reached for her hand, wrapping my fingers around the airy form I couldn’t feel in hopes the gesture would better convey the earnestness hidden beneath the lie. While I’d often escorted her at formal events, this was the first time I’d ever held her hand. Though I couldn’t feel the softness or warmth I’d often imagined from her skin, a surge of energy seemed to spread over me from the makeshift contact.

I met her eyes whose vivid green color had been washed away to nothing more than the colorlessness shrouding the rest of her form. “I love you, Lisette.”

Her breath caught. “You…love me?”

I nodded. “As such I won’t rest until I’ve found a way to break the curse upon you.” Even if it meant that when the invisibility trapping her was stripped away, her memories would return and she would learn of my deceit…a truth which would only shatter everything that nearly losing her had made me desperate to repair.

CHAPTER6

Lisette

He…loves me?Though I couldn’t recall the memories I sensed slipping away beyond my control,lovefelt like a concept beyond my comprehension. How could my constant feelings of inadequacy and loneliness correspond with the kind of closeness Lucien described? I searched the prince’s wide and earnest eyes, the softness filling them foreign due to my inability to find the emotion amongst the broken fragments of my recollection.

“Were we truly in love?” The question born from my continued disbelief felt strange passing my lips, as if I’d never had any reason to speak such words out loud.

He hesitated a moment before nodding his confirmation. Rather than his affirmation bringing clarity to my indiscernible recollections, it instead added a brushstroke of cloudy grey to the ill-formed picture that didn’t seem to belong, bringing me not peace but instead deepening the confusion that shrouded me like my invisibility.

He seemed to be awaiting my response, as if hoping I would finally breach whatever fortress guarded these lost memories. I struggled through the thick, nearly impenetrable fog concealing my remembrances to stretch my memory as far back as it would go, sorting through the shattered pieces in hopes of forming a picture that matched the past he described…but the trails connecting my awareness to my storehouse of recollections seemed to have been erased with everything else.

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