Page 42 of Quest

The contact was brief and as innocent as could be considered given the situation, but it was enough to make him pause, a flicker of confusion crossing his face. The fabric of my clothing, damp from the exertion, might have clung to me just enough to outline my figure more clearly than before. His eyes narrowed slightly, and for a heartbeat, there was a silent question in his gaze.

Heat flushed my face from the sudden fear that my disguise might be compromised. I hastily stepped back and awkwardly adjusted my tunic, hoping to deflect any further scrutiny. “I’m sorry, I lost my balance.” I took extra care to keep my voice low and gruff to counteract his suspicions.

Darcel recovered quickly, his expression clearing as he nodded. “No harm done. Let's try that again. Remember, it's about control, not just force.”

As we resumed our training, I couldn't help but feel his eyes on me a bit more critically, observing my movements with a new intensity. “You’re unusually graceful.” I could almost hear his unspoken suspicion that I moved differently than a man.

“My craft requires careful and precise movements.” Forgetting my earlier precaution, my airy voice nearly exposed my feminine lilt. He cocked his ear with a frown, escalating my anxiety that he might be piecing together his suspicions.

“Abilities that are already serving you well.” Though he thankfully didn’t press the matter further, in my lingering worry I scarcely heard his praise.

The rest of the training thankfully passed without incident, but his brief moment of doubt lingered in my mind. I was more careful than ever, conscious of every physical interaction and the way I carried myself. The fear of discovery added a layer of tension to the training, making each move and countermove all the more critical.

By the time we finished, my body was sore in places I’d never noticed before, but there was an undeniable feeling of accomplishment. We rested at the base of the outcrop. Darcel handed me his water skin, and I took grateful gulps, relishing its soothing relief against my parched throat.

I sensed him watching me. Though he said nothing more about the incident, his occasional thoughtful glances my way spoke volumes. The balance between maintaining my disguise and proving my capabilities had never felt so precarious. I would need to be more vigilant going forward.

This burden felt extra weighty upon my exhausted shoulders. My wariness seemed to be enough to shake him from his pensive mood and he offered a smile, strained at the corners but still sincere. “How was it?”

I gratefully seized the distraction his question offered, though it took me a moment to catch my panting breath before I could summon enough strength to glare at him. “I truly thought you were determined to kill me. You’re such a bully.”

He laughed, a joyful sound that lit up his eyes and stirred my heart, causing the last of the tension from my faltered disguise to melt away. “I’ll accept that as gratitude. In all seriousness, you truly did well today. I hope you’ve learned that it’s not just about building strength or endurance, but discovering what you're capable of and pushing beyond the limits you set for yourself.”

His words stirred something within me. As I sat watching the sunlight filter through the leaves, I felt both a renewed sense of purpose and a shift in my understanding of myself. The day’s trials had peeled back layers of self-doubt, revealing a resilience I hadn’t known existed within me, one I wanted to nourish moving forward.

“I’ve always thought I needed to prove something,” I confessed. “To my father, to myself...maybe even to you. Yet today helped me realize that it’s not about attaining mastery, but simply improving each day, gradually getting better in order to face whatever comes next.”

Whatever challenge had been created by mastering the sword was nothing to mastering my own emotions, a battle that was proving to be far more formidable. It occupied my thoughts as we walked back to the camp, maintaining a small distance from Darcel in an effort to shake off the lingering emotional turmoil his touch had stirred.

My thoughts drifted back to the moment he’d almost discovered my identity. Some of the panic had subsided, replaced with a realization as steady as my settling heartbeat.I need to tell him.

It wasn’t a matter of my inability to keep it a secret much longer, but the fact that I no longer wanted to. We’d grown too close for me to want to conceal it any longer. Though romance might be out of reach, he was still my friend.

As we neared camp I brushed his arm, beckoning him to stop. He glanced back, pinning me with the full force of his gorgeous dark eyes that for a moment I became entirely lost in. When my silence extended too long, worry furrowed his brow. “Are you alright, Ren? Did I push you too hard?”

The pseudonym felt extra jarring in the heat of my resolve to confess. I took a wavering breath, forcing myself to hold his gaze. “I have to tell you something.”

He waited patiently for me to continue, but the words I was determined to finally speak seemed to have become trapped in my throat, held back by worry whose clutches I couldn’t fully escape.

Though I was determined to face whatever consequences would result from unmasking my deceit, fear engulfed my heart at the thought that it might result in losing the camaraderie we’d forged. However, I reminded myself that I’d had the strength to come this far, meaning I could endure whatever came from speaking the truth.

“Ren?” He stepped closer, awashing me in his presence. I opened my mouth to speak, but as my eyes drifted shyly to the ground in an effort to avoid the full force of his gentle gaze, I noticed the crimson staining his leg from where his wound had reopened.

I gasped. “Your leg!”

He didn’t even glance at it. “That doesn’t matter. What did you want to tell me?”

Despite his determination not to allow it to interrupt us, I couldn’t in good conscience continue, all thoughts of his pain eclipsing whatever resolve I’d previously possessed. “You overexerted yourself. Let me patch you up.”

I seized his arm and dragged him as carefully as I could back to camp, feeling a mixture of frustration and secret relief that I could keep this secret a little while longer, for with it I could keep his good opinion…and most importantlyhim.

CHAPTER 17

Darcel

Icould feel the strain in my muscles, a constant reminder of the injury that hadn’t fully healed. I gritted my teeth against the stabbing pain as we traversed the rugged landscape stretching before us, my eyes fixed on the distant outline of the cavern that marked our destination. The previous day’s rest coupled with one of Ren’s herbal concoctions had initially eased my injury to a manageable ache, bolstering me to press on despite Jiang’s cautious advice to rest another day.

However, as hours passed and we faced increasingly difficult terrain, the remedy’s effects began to wane. Sharp pain lanced through my leg with each step, each throb challenging my resolve. Despite the burgeoning pain I pressed on, endeavoring to conceal my discomfort so as not to allow my weakness to be the cause of further delays.

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