Page 48 of Quest

Jiang and Kael looked up at our arrival. By their looks they accurately guessed I’d takenRenaside for a private confrontation. Too late I realized I’d been so occupied by the revelation of Mei’s true identity that I’d failed to come up with an alternate story that would allow me to keep her confidence. I offered a nod of reassurance in their direction, hoping it would sufficiently reassure their curiosity that whateverconfidentialthingsRenand I had discussed had been enough to abate their concerns.

Kael shrugged and returned to perusing the map spread across his lap, but unsurprisingly Jiang wasn’t satisfied with such a vague response. By his pointed look I knew I had my own interrogation to look forward to, one I wasn’t certain I would be able to focus on, considering my thoughts were still entirely consumed with the last one.

Mei soon excused herself to get ready for bed in the privacy she had always insisted on, which I now finally understood the reason for. I found myself unconsciously staring after her until Jiang’s voice tugged my thoughts away, alerting me to his presence. “How did the conversation go?”

I startled. Though it was my guard’s nature to move stealthily, I’d been so absorbed in each of Mei’s graceful movements I hadn’t noticed his approach. It took me a moment to rearrange my thoughts to recall what Jiang was referring to.

“Fine,” I said. “Ren took me into his confidence about what he believes caused him to fail the altar’s test. All my worries concerning his loyalty are abated; I’m confident he is worthy of our trust.” It took every ounce of willpower not to refer to Mei as asheor use her real name.

Though he had no reason to question me, Jiang frowned. “I know you have your own reasons to be protective of the lad, but I can’t imagine a secret unimportant enoughnotto cause concern, if it’s significant enough to cause that reaction from the magic. Are you certain that whatever he told you isn’t a red herring for the real reason the grove rejected him?”

Mei’s true face illuminated by her lantern’s soft golden light filled my mind, unmistakably that of a woman. “I’m absolutely certain. If you still harbor doubts, then we must let his character and actions serve as further testament.”

Jiang looked like he wanted to argue the point further, but his obedience thankfully kept his lingering doubts in check, preventing me from enduring another onslaught of complaints.

From the corner of my eye I noticed Mei’s return and without conscious thought I found myself approaching her, guided by some unknown force to return to her side…entirely for protective purposes, of course. With this excuse ready in hand I limped closer, experiencing a strange thrill when she glanced up and met my gaze.

In that moment, the illusion spell she’d cast upon herself momentarily faltered, allowing me a coveted peek of her true face before magic once again hid it from view. I had no explanation for the brief break in her disguise, only that a mere glimpse was all it took for me to lose any semblance of thought, as if she’d captured all my words and held them captive.

The illusion faded again long enough for her to tilt her head in a rather adorable manner. “Did you need something?”

Need something? Surely I’d approached her for a reason other than my subconscious desire to be close to her, but in this moment I couldn’t even fathom what it could possibly be. “Just…wanted to check on you.”

After ensuring that the others weren’t within earshot, she leaned in, stirring the air with a distinctive floral scent reminiscent of orchids that I couldn’t believe I’d gone so long without noticing. “I appreciate the concern, but there’s no need for it. I know it must be disconcerting interacting with me now that you know the truth, but even if it’s a disguise, I’m still theRenyou came to know. Just treat me like you always have.” Her voice carried a hint of warning as her eyes darted to our other companions who were now eyeing us, reminding me of my promise to keep her secret.

Little did she realize that such a favor asked for the impossible. Her illusion might have caused her to look like Ren, but only her facial features. No amount of magic could disguise her voice, the elegant way she held herself, the graceful way she moved…and most of all the soothing effect her presence had on me, the result of the friendship we had built during our time together.

“Forgive me; it’s not my intention to treat you any differently.”

She sighed. “I suppose you’ve been looking out for me since the beginning. I can’t begrudge you for your concern.”

Though I couldn’t discern the exact nature of these new emotions, they seemed to extend beyond mereconcern. In my confusion I couldn’t think of a response, causing another unbearable silence to settle around us. I looked around, as if I could find a conversation topic growing in the clearing that I could gather like Mei’s herbs. Unfortunately none magically materialized before she left my side to arrange her futon for the night.

The sleeping arrangements presented another problem I hadn’t yet considered—until now I hadn’t given the close proximity of our entourage a second thought, but tonight I noticed just how closely Jiang and Kael arranged their futons next to Mei’s. I couldn’t help but tug both their bedding a considerable distance away from Mei’s.

“What are you doing, Your Highness?”

Jiang’s perplexity halted my movements, making me feel as though I had been caught in the act of a crime. “I’m just rearranging the futons.”

His puzzled frown deepened. “Why?” His question acted as the voice for the subconscious thoughts I couldn’t formulate, not even to myself. Simple speech once more proved troublesome, not that I had an adequate excuse to give. He sighed. “I don’t care if I don’t sleep near the others, but I want to stay close enough to protect you.”

Such logical reasoning felt out of place amid my whirl of nonsensical emotions, especially given that I had already volunteered to be the one to sleep next to Mei; given the delicacy of the situation I couldn’t trust anyone other than myself to take such an important responsibility.

Though I wanted to argue, I offered a reluctant nod, hesitancy not lost to his keen observation. His eyes narrowed. “You’ve been behaving rather strangely since your conversation with Ren.” He cast Mei an accusatory look before stalking away in irritation.

She used the first opportunity Jiang’s attention was diverted to sidle closer, causing me to stiffen instinctively. “You need to behave more naturally. You’re making everyone suspicious.”

Defensiveness summoned my words from wherever they had been hiding. I leaned closer, lowering my voice. “How can I not worry? You’re sleeping next tomen.”

“Yet you have no problem with me sleeping next to you? You’re a man too.”

I faltered, obviously having no counterargument. True, Iwasa man…but I wasn’t justanyman. Unlike with my comrades, things were different between Mei and I, and not just because I knew her secret. “That’s…different.”

“How?”

Naturally, Mei wouldn't be herself if she didn’t question me at every opportunity. This time, however, I found myself without a clear answer. Frustratingly, I lacked any tangible explanation for the confusing tumult of feelings inside me; the emotions filling my heart were beyond words, each heartbeat seeming to urge me towards truths I wasn’t ready to face.

When it was clear I couldn’t articulate any further response, Mei sighed. “I am well aware of the situation, considering it kept me up during my first night, and has made it difficult to sleep in the ones since.”

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