“Ronan and Hampton are our targets,” Phoenix reiterates. “And if I understand Blaise, he just wants to crush Jenna’s spirit, not kill her. I’m not averse to that.”
“Can you do that?” Flint asks me.
"She's just another pawn," I assure them, needing to convince myself as much as them. " I won't let anything compromise our revenge."
"I feel like I've heard that before," Ash says with a look at Flint. "Look how that turned out."
"Hey," Flint says, annoyed. "It turned out awesome. I'm happier than any of you motherfuckers. I've got a fantastic wife, an awesome son, and because of Lucy, we know Jenna was the snitch, and her article has pushed the Keans back on their heels."
Ash shakes his head. "I stand corrected. If you want to fall in love and make babies with Jenna, the woman who?—"
"I don't." But my insides do a full somersault. I’m not sure if it’s because the idea is ridiculous or the disturbing realization that I haven't used protection with Jenna. Not once. Fucking hell.
"You okay?" Flint asks.
"Yeah, just…" The words stick in my throat. I've been so caught up in revenge, in playing my part, that I didn't think about the consequences. A baby. My baby. With Jenna. The woman I'm supposed to destroy.
“It’s all good,” I say, but my voice lacks conviction. I'll find out if she's on anything, make sure there's no chance. But even as I think that, I know it might be too late. We've been together multiple times. And the thought of her carrying my child while I plot to break her heart makes me feel sick.
“Has she been able to give any insights that help us get to Ronan and Hampton?” Phoenix, always focused on the plan, asks.
“No. She’s focused on her job and caring for her mother. But like I said, she’s full-on in love with me. If we need her to do something, I’m sure I can manipulate her into doing it.”
“Even if it involves Ronan? I thought you said she had a thing for him and thinks the family walks on water,” Ash reminds me.
I give him an irritated glare. “As Phoenix says, she’s not our focus, so why are your boxers all in a bunch?”
Ash gives me the finger.
“Has she said why she betrayed us?” Flint asks.
It’s the one question I don’t know the answer to yet. “No. I’m working on it.”
“Hopefully, in your off time,” Phoenix says.
“Maybe she was used? Or didn’t realize what she was doing?”
We all look at Flint.
“Are you defending her?” I ask. “The woman who invited the enemy in?”
“She was a kid. And I’m not defending her, I’m just saying maybe she doesn’t realize?—”
“She told Ronan how to break past our defenses. How do you do that by accident?” Ash asks.
Flint shrugs. “Just saying.”
"We need to discuss guard placement," Ash says, but I barely hear him because it’s possible Flint is right. I could totally see Jenna giving away some bit of information out of infatuation. But how could she not put two and two together? She gave information and right after, our home was invaded. And the person she gave the information to took over everything.
"Blaise?" Flint waves a hand in front of my face. "You with us?"
"Yeah." I clear my throat. "Guard rotations. I gave you the current schedule there. I’ll get you the party schedule when I make it.”
Phoenix and Ash debate strategy, their words sharp with revenge, but all I can think about is Jenna's gentle touch and sweet smile. The way she hums while she works in her garden.Her quiet strength as she cares for her dying mother. How can she be both an innocent, sweet woman and a monster?
"Earth to Blaise," Flint snaps. "Get your head in the game."
I straighten, forcing myself to focus on the blueprints. If they knew the war I’m constantly playing against myself in regard to Jenna, my brothers would call me weak. Maybe I am.