Page 76 of House of Soot

"I know." I want to reach for her, to offer some comfort, but I'm not sure I have that right anymore. "I'm sorry you had to see that. But I'm not sorry for protecting you."

"Protecting me?" She laughs, but it's a hollow sound. "After spending months lying to me? Using me?"

I wish I could deny it, but I can’t. "Yes. I started this wanting revenge. But somewhere along the way, everything changed.”

She turns to look at me then, really look at me, and she doesn’t know me. That’s how she looks at me. Like I’m a complete stranger.

“Ronan would have killed you,” I say lamely, as if that will make up for all I’ve done.

"Stop saying that like it makes it okay!" She presses her hands to her face.

"If it makes you feel any better, one of them got me pretty good." I try to inject some levity into my voice despite the burning pain in my shoulder. "So maybe that's Karma catching up with me."

Jenna's eyes flash with anger. "You think this is funny? That getting shot somehow makes up for lying to me? For using me? For making me fall in love with you when it was all just some sick game of revenge?"

The venom in her words hurts more than my bullet wound.

“You got hit?” Phoenix glances at me through the rearview mirror.

“Shoulder. Hurts like a mother fucker, but I don’t think it’s fatal.” I look over to Jenna, wondering if she wishes it were fatal.

She turns away from me, staring out the window into the darkness. The silence that follows is deafening. Even Phoenix stays quiet as he drives.

I’ve succeeded in my mission. I’ve killed Ronan. I’ve destroyed the woman who helped him kill our parents. But I feel like the biggest piece of shit on the planet. It gets worse each time I hear Jenna’s breath hitch with suppressed sobs.

"I understand if you can never forgive me," I say softly. "But please believe that keeping you safe is all that matters to me now."

She doesn't respond, just curls further into herself.

The ride is quiet until we reach the safehouse we’d hidden Lucy in when she was in danger from the Keans and their minions.

“Let me see that wound,” Phoenix insists once we’re safe inside. He goes to get the first aid kit, but my attention is on Jenna, who’s huddled on the couch looking so small and lost. And there’s nothing I can do to fix it.

Phoenix works efficiently, pressing gauze against both entry and exit wounds before wrapping the bandage tight around myshoulder. The pressure sends fresh spikes of pain through my body, but I endure it silently.

“Lucky for you, the bullet went through,” he says.

“What about Jenna’s mother?”

“Flint’s with her.”

Jenna's head snaps up at the mention of her mother.

"Flint won't let anything happen to her,” I try to assure her. “Once she’s better and can leave, we'll move both of you somewhere safe. Somewhere the Keans can't find either of you."

She falls silent again. It gives me hope that she at least believes that I want her and her mother safe, even if she can't trust anything else about me right now.

"Well, well." Ash's voice cuts through the room as he strides in. "Looks like someone forgot the first rule of infiltration—don't get shot."

"Funny. I was a little busy trying not to get Jenna killed."

“What I want," Ash says, crossing his arms, "is to understand how my most calculating brother managed to blow his cover, failed to eliminate the target, and ended up shot, all while trying to save the very person he set out to destroy."

"Not now, Ash." The words come out as a growl, but I know I messed up. “Look, I know I fucked up. In the end, Ronan is dead. The real problem is they know it was an Ifrinn.”

"This actually works in our favor," Phoenix says, pouring a stiff drink and handing it to me. "Let them know the Ifrinns are back. Let them feel the fear of knowing that we’ve returned for revenge."

"Please." Jenna's voice breaks through, small but desperate. "You can't hurt everyone at the estate. Most of them are just workers, like me. They don't know anything about what happened to your family. I mean, Debbie, she never worked for the Ifrinns. And Brigit, the Keans’ goddaughter, is only nine.”

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