Page 175 of Poison Aches

“We don’t know that,” I croak.

“You’re thirteen this year, Ivy, if they wanted to find us, they would’ve done so years ago, so yes, we do know that for sure!”

“Samuel!” I cry, denial lacing my veins.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, grow up, Ivy! We were raised by Gramps and Grammy, and guess what, Gramps is dead. He’s gone, Ivy, and we know it didn’t just happen. Focus on the goal.”

“I know all that!” I cry now, with tears running profusely down my cheeks, to my jaw and down my neck. God, I know that our grandfather is gone. He died saving me. “I know everything, and I know the goal, but that still doesn’t give you the right?—”

“I’ve seen you with him.”

Five simple words…

In the grand scheme of things, and the tension and hurt that’s already in the room, those five words shouldn’t make the room fall into a dead silence, but they do.

“I saw the way you looked at him,” Samuel continues, with clear bitterness in his voice. “But you seem to be ignorant of the way he barely acknowledges you.”

That sharp pain I mentioned before? It comes back with a vengeance.

“He does,” I defend. “He’s my friend!”

“You’re friends with the girl he’s in love with too, how do you explain that?”

It’s like a cannon just went off in the room.

The explosion is so loud between my ears that for several seconds, I just stare at my brother in shock, not knowing what to do or say.

And my dear brother, the one person I’ve believed would always have my back, he just stares at me, not even attempting to comfort me or take back his horrible words.

“I hate you!” I seethe.

“Ivy…” Grammy starts, but I ignore her and stare at my brother.

“I hate you and you’re wrong! It’s not unrequited love…”

“He loves another girl, and that girl isn’t you,” Samuel says decisively, this time with a cold tone that makes me gasp silently as more tears stream down my face. “And, Ivy, you know that too.”

No.

No, I don’t know that…

I don’twantto know that.

“Is that why you wanted to talk to me?” I croak, turning back to look at my grandmother. “Is that why you wanted me to read out loud the definition of this word?”

To her credit, Grammy stands as still as a majestic tower, watching me with gentle eyes.

“Ivy, my sweetheart,” she starts. “Everything your brother and I are doing is to help you avoid the pain that comes with the path you’re headed.”

The path I’m headed?

“You might not know what to call it, but as you grow, you’ll find that unrequited love feels just like this.” She points at the dictionary still clutched in my hands. “When you have intense feelings for someone, but they don’t feel that way about you, a kind of ache develops at the bottom of your heart. It’s like a dull, throbbing agony and the longer you hold on to it, instead of fixing the hurt and moving on, it’ll become a kind of prolonged suffering.”

I suck in a harsh breath, unable to look at her, but her words are so freaking loud, they actually echo in between my ears.

“What does that have to do with anything?” I whisper. “Am I not allowed to feel what I feel and then let it go on my own?”

“Not when you have bad history with that person,” Samuel snaps. “Not when his family fucked ours over! Not when?—”

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