Page 36 of Poison Aches

“I’ll call you Angel.”From now on.

“Why?”

“Because I know you still have another unanswered question.”

“What? There’s no way…”

“Yes…you still want to know whatdying feels like, don’t you, Angel?”

She blinks so fast that I know I hit the nail on the head.

“I haven’t forgotten that night, and neither have you,” I say, seeing the darkness still in her eyes.

She’s obviously still battling guilt, grief, and pain… as well as an ideation of something she hasn’t let go of even after we survived that jump by a miracle.

“I…”

“I know you do,” I whisper.

“How?” she whispers back.

“You don’t have to worry about that. I have a feeling that one day in the future—in the nearest future, Angel—you’ll know. And when you know,we’ll be even.”

I see her tiny body tremble… and for the first time in months, I smile.

You’re going to pay, Angel.

We’re going to be even…

A dead heart for a dead heart.

You want to know how it feels to be dead inside but still be able to open your eyes and see the sun rising and sinking back into the horizon, giving you false hope and regrets over and over again?

If she wants to know how it feels to be painfully aware that one day it’ll all be darkness, then I’ll gladly show her.

She’s going to wish she had gone through with her initialdecisionthat night.

CHAPTER 5

Ivy

The Present

If I do this, the possibility of success is likely to be fifty-fifty.

But then again, they say ignorance is bliss. If I embrace ignorance, then I’ll be stress-free, worry-free, anxiety-free, and I can go on living my life.

But then again, do I have a life?

If being an expert pretender means having a life, then I think mine is fairly successful.

Nothing screams excitement better than a two-faced life, right?

But then again, I don’t want that. I’ve never wanted that.

Even in the moments I’ve wanted to die, begged the earth to open up and swallow me, there was still a spark of hope somewhere in me, longing for life.

A life where I no longer disappoint the people I’ve hurt.

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