Page 40 of Poison Aches

Oh God…please open up the earth to swallow me. This time I mean it.

“You’re still coming down, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Hey, why is your voice down?” Samuel questions with concern. No one detects psychological patterns better than my brother.

“Uhh, I’m just still in shock.”

“Oh, right, that’s normal but Ivy, this is now a reality! You passed! You’re going to be the next doctor in the Irving family line! Something our mother couldn’t do! You are about to scale and leap above her!”

His words make me freeze.

Our mother… the lady that abandoned us after I was born and never looked back.

The lady I spent my childhood crying for, begging for, even willing to run away to find, up until that very act of stupidity took my grandfather away…

“This has nothing to do with that lady,” I say in a clipped tone.

Samuel falls silent. Then he sighs. “Damn right. This has nothing to do with her!”

We both fall silent this time until Samuel tells me he has to go and hangs up.

Mother?

I don’t have a mother.

And I don’t have my grandfather either…

What I have, however, is a pathetic, sad, depressing life full of lies.

Now what am I going to do?

My phone lights up and buzzes with texts from my friends.

Astraea:OMG!!!! Just heard! CONGRATULATIONS BEAUTIFUL!!! Can’t wait to see you!

Kim:Look at you, Dr. Ivy!!!!! Congrats babe! Can’t wait to party! P.S. I miss you sm!

Noah:I knew it! I bet a solid grid on you! LET’S FKNG GO!!!!!!

Alex:Spider told us. Congratulations, Doc! See you soon. Just a warning, my wife will go overboard. Again.

I’m sick to my stomach.

These texts are genuine. I know my friends are all happy and excited for me for real.

But what happens when they find out the truth?

What will happen to Grammy?

Obviously, she’ll be even more disappointed in me. It took years for her to even look at me without hatred and now…

Oh God, what have done?

My phone pings again with a text. For some insane reason, I expect the text to be from someone specific but instead it’s Grammy.

Gran:At work, but I knew it! Well done, baby girl. I’m so incredibly proud of you! Can’t wait to celebrate next week when you’re back!