Page 56 of Poison Aches

“Do you really want to know?” I ask, closing the book and putting it down. I stare at my brother, hurt brewing in me.

“Yes,” he mutters softly. “Tell me what I’m missing here.”

“Because you’re keepings secrets from me,” I say immediately.

If I wasn’t looking directly at him, I would’ve missed the quick flash of emotion that flits across his face.

“Keeping secrets from you?” He chuckles. “Don’t be ridiculous, Ivy. You know everything about my life.”

“That’s another lie.”

He stares at me.

I stare right back but my insides are screaming, begging him to tell me.

“Ivy…”

“Are you stirring my interest away from going to that city because there might be someone there that you don’t want me to see?”

The words just blurt out of me before I can stop them.

“How long have you known?” I keep going. “Have you been in touch with her?”

The more I ask, the more his face shifts from the half smile he was wearing to a stoic expression.

“Are you surprised that I found out?”

“No,” he finally mutters. “I’m surprised that you’re still a deluded little girl that chases after things that don’t want you.”

Shock trembles through my body at those words.

“What?”

“Come on, Ivy,” he starts, standing ramrod straight in the middle of my room, watching me steadily. “I’ve seen you pine over that boy all your life when he never even gives you a second glance.”

Pain slithers through me as those words sink in.

“I’ve heard you cry in this very room, break down, face major depression and anxiety from being in a one-sided relationship with that boy and now, finding out you’re still fixated on Beverly Irving is probably the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.”

A ragged breath escapes my lips. I’m almost panting for breath at this point, my ears ringing at my brother’s words.

“I know your mind is a minefield and who knows what goes on in there, but you must never forget the pain and trouble Grammy has been through and don’t you dare forget how Gramps died.”

Before I even realize it, tears are streaming down my cheeks.

Gramps…

He died because of me.

Samuel’s message is very clear, but I didn’t think he’d actually hurt me like this.

“I…” I croak. “I’ll never forget.”

“Really? Then why have you been searching for Beverly again?” Samuel demands, not backing off for a second. “Are you such a pathetic individual that you’re starved for affection in a way that you have to run after the woman who abandoned you the day she gave birth to you?”

A powerful chill goes through me at the reminder.

I look down at my bed, but everything is now a blur, the haunted image of the night Gramps died playing in my head over and over again.

---