Page 58 of Poison Aches

But, I couldn’t help it.

Now, I’m just trying to atone.

“Brother, I know you’ve kept the information on our mother secret from me because you were trying to protect me. I knowyou had other reasons, but has it ever crossed your mind how broken I am from everything?”

“Ivy…”

“You don’t have to remind me of my sins. I know them intimately and I’m living the consequences of it all, but do me a favor, Samuel.” I look at him now, with clear eyes. “Please let me atone.”

This shocks him for a few seconds.

“I’ve already cut Emmett Easton out of my life. As far as he knows, I’m not a concern because of my broken mind,” I say as I get up to pack the book I was just reading. “Gramps went to school in New York, and so will I.”

This makes him frown.

“I want to be a doctor! I want to follow in Gramps’ footsteps.”

Samuel watches me with a penetrating gaze.

“That sounds nice and all but don’t tell me you’re doing it forhim.”

I have to fight hard not to react to those words, but well, what can I do when my brother is fully aware of my pathetic feelings for someone who royally fucked up my family’s lives?

But that doesn’t matter. I’ve since decided to bury that ugly hatchet and move on.

“There are thousands of sick people around the world, why should Emmett Easton be the sole reason that sways the direction of my life?”

“Because I’ve seen those books.”

“What books?” I sit up straight now, panic clear in my voice.

“Why do you look anxious now? I know you spend hours upon freaking hours researching heart diseases and cardiac surgeries. You call researchers in different countries, watch tapes from both failed and successful surgeries. It's like you devoted your freaking life to him.”

“I didn’t!”

“So who else would make you do all that, huh?”

A throbbing sensation blooms in my chest.

“It’s for me!”

“For yourself?” He scoffs. “Ivy, you never take care of yourself when you should. You reach your hand out to danger when you should be protecting yourself, and you expect me to think you’ve been doing all this mindless work for yourself?”

He’s angry, I can tell, but so am I.

For going above and beyond for a guy who never once felt the same for me.

But this is bigger than Emmett and I can’t give up now.

“I’m still going to be a doctor for myself.”

“That’s good, but my answer is still no,” he says firmly.

I pause, thinking about it.

“I’m sorry, Samuel. I love you, but you’re not going to stop me.”

This angers him. “What?”

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