Page 86 of Poison Aches

“I don’t know, Raea,” Kim muses while watching me with teasing eyes. “Maybe some random NYC dick might help with all that academic stress and tension she’s been on lately.”

“Yeah, but if she’s moving all the way across the country for some random dick then she needs an intervention.”

“What kind of intervention? She needs to get choked, sucked, and fucked. Stat!” Kim cheers with a Cheshire grin on her face.

I almost choke on nothing but the freaking air I’m inhaling.

“Excuse me?—”

“She does, but there’s dick closer to home!” Astraea points out.

“Err, spoiled, country club dick isn’t for Ivy.”

“Huh? What’s wrong with country club dick? The boys have a country club membership!”

“Be for real, Astraea. The boysownthe club. They never go there.”

“Ah yes, that’s true.”

“Can you two stop!” I croak in a high-pitched feverish tone. “I’m not about to become an episode onForensic Files! And I’m not flying across the country because of some guy! Why would anyone want their life dictated by a man?”

Both of them stare at me silently.

Maybe it’s because I just blew up, but I know it’s mostly because, well, I’m now slandering the very life I’ve been living for years.

Waiting for a man to notice that I exist…

I take a deep, calming breath. “All I’m saying is, I have a future to pursue, so I’m leaving because this is something I’ve always wanted to do.”

Actually, that’s not a lie, but it’s not the full truth either.

“But this is your home,” Astraea says gently.

“Yeah…”

I always thought I’d stay here.

Find love here.

Be loved here.

Be someone’s first choice here.

Be cherished here.

But none of those fantasies ever happened, no matter how many times I whispered a prayer at night or wished on shooting stars.

I was, and have always been, invisible.

This town, it’s brought nothing but a ridge-like ache in my soul and I need to expel it before my soul looks like the Grand Canyon.

What better way of doing that, and finding the biggest missing pieces of my life, than by going away?

“Listen, I love you both and I know you care, so I’ll always check in with y’all every single day. I’ll keep my Geo Tracker on at all times and I’ll make sure to get as much info as I can on Jackson, then I’ll let Mr. King and Mr. Montreal do their thing.”

At those words, both of them seem to relax just a bit.

“Yeah, you better!” Astraea demands. “But the one who’s good at digging into a person’s entire life, including five generations back, is Emmett. Will you send him the details too?”

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