Page 189 of Poison Vows

“Jared had been involved in an accident and died on the spot.”

A heavy silence falls between us as Beverly silently sobs, her shoulders shaking violently, but I can’t even move to comfort her. I’m still in a paralysis of shock.

“Teddy had just left for Asia for half a year, so?—”

“So, you easily and quietly had me, dumped me on the front door of your parents’ house in the dead of winter, where you had already abandoned Samuel.”

Growing up, I was told that my mother abandoned me, about that they never lied, but they did cook up other parts like the one where Grammy said Beverly left both Samuel and me at the door, but that’s not true.

Samuel had already been with Grammy and Gramps. I was the only one left in the middle of the night.

“Does Samuel know? About Jared?” I ask groggily, starting to feel faint all of a sudden.

“Yes,” Beverly says in a whisper. “Teddy also knew before we married that I had a son.”

Samuel has always known who our father was… and kept it from me.

“Ah, so it’s just me that you lied about,” I murmur. “It’s me that was the flaw in your grand plans.”

As I say those words, I expect myself to burst into tears. Demand why she’d do that. Curse at her. Throw a tantrum, but for some unknown reason, I feel… nothing.

“Ivy… I’m so, so, sorry, sweetheart.”

I can tell she’s being sincere and the pain in her eyes is raw and real, but all I can do is stare past her, unable to look her in the eye.

“I made a mistake,” she goes on, but to me I hear…

I was a mistake.

“I shouldn’t have…”

I shouldn’t exist.

“When I found out, it was a bit…”

Too late to get rid of me.

“But I wanted you.”

Because I was a tie to your one and only love.

I was right… there really isn’t any reason or explanation that is good enough to patch up the shattered pieces of a child’s pain.

Trauma is trauma.

“Sweetheart, I had no choice but to stay married to Teddy. If I had stayed in touch with my parents, you and Samuel would’ve been in danger, especially after finding out that Jared’s accident was no accident at all. And then again with my father.”

Oh God.

“I lied that you were Melissa’s twin. There was no way to hide the stark similarity you two girls have and you were small for your age, so manipulating your birth certificate was not an issue.”

I stare at her, trying my hardest to shake off this absurd feeling that’s creeping up on me.

My whole life has been an intricate web of lies and omissions.

“You curated my entire life to match your daughter so I can be a shield for her and for you?”

A humorless chuckle escapes my lips.

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