Page 210 of Poison Vows

“You made me want to die.”

“Fuck.”

“And then you come saving me from it multiple times, why?”

“Because I love you,” he confesses easily. “This was never unrequited love, Angel. You have to know that I have always loved you. How could I just let you die?”

I think this is the moment where I really die. I can’t believe I’m hearing him say it.

That’s all I’ve ever wanted, but I still have to call him out on a few things.

“So you know that feeling, then?” I whisper brokenly. “How do you think I felt when I knew you were just as suicidal, if not more?”

Emmett sucks in a sharp breath, but he doesn’t look away. He’s not hiding this time.

“You knew?” he asks gruffly.

“How can I not know?” I cry. “I know everything about you too.”

“Jesus, Ivy… you have me undone.”

“You lost your family. I did too. I wanted us to start our own because I thought maybe then you’d find a reason to stay and fight.”

To my shock, a lone tear trails down Emmet’s face. “That’s why you wanted a baby?”

I look away from him.

“When you love someone sincerely, you hope that they do well, whether or not they love you back. Three years ago, when I tried taking my own life, you found me in time, got me help and then kept it a secret from my grandmother and brother. You protected me. I just wanted to do the same.”

“Ivy,” he breathes shakily. “You have always been the reason I wanted to stay! I just… I thought it was already impossible between us and the least I could do is stay alive long enough to see you grow up and become whoever you wanted to be. I thought if I kept my distance, I wouldn’t hurt you but supportyou, protect you, provide you with whatever you needed… but in the end, I just hurt you even more.”

“You did,” I say not sugarcoating it. “It was a good plan to keep your distance. Why didn’t you continue?”

“Because each time I saw you, I ignored that plan,” he whispers. “Each time I saw you, my heart worked and failed all at the same time.”

“Huh?”

“When you looked at me, the blaze roared. When King kissed you when we were teenagers, I beat him up badly. And each time you avoided me, I felt a dissolution in my soul that wouldn’t go away until you smiled at me again. I believed staying as far away from you would not only protect you from those who would seek to come after me, because as you have seen, there are many, but I thought you wouldn’t be hurt when I eventually croak.”

“Don’t say that!” I snap, hurt by that last part. “Apologize.”

Emmett hugs me to him even tighter, his lips pressing featherlight kisses to my temple, the shell of my ear and the crook of my neck.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters softly, I melt. “I’m sorry for lying through my teeth that I didn’t want you when that’s the biggest and deepest lie I’ve ever told. I’m sorry for doing and saying all that crap just to hide how much I craved you, needed you, obsessed over you and wanting only you.”

I think my own heart stops beating right there and then.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” he says in a tone so mellow and deep; I start sobbing. “For being so busy in my head and not seeing just how lucky and blessed I already was because you, Ivy Marie Easton, you’re a once in an eternity kind of love.”

“Jesus,” I gasp, burying my head in his chest.

“I’m sorry that I never stopped to confess all this to you, even after we got married. All our lives since I met you, my one mission had been to keep you safe. Yes, I was also looking formy mother, but you overrode all other senses in me to the point where I got stuck in that survival mode even after I had you,” he whispers. “But the truth is, I was struck with fear.”

“Tell me,” I whisper back.

“Fear that you truly hated me and didn’t want me anymore,” he groans sadly.

“Emmett,” I cry. “Why would you think that?”

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