Page 34 of Her Bear of a Duke

"I shall not pretend it is easy. I miss my friends, and I miss the freedom of being unmarried, but there is good in it. I am secure, I have so many opportunities, and my future is better than that of most ladies in theton.Not only that, but my parents do not have any control over me anymore. I can finally do what I want, within reason, and be free. I never thought that I would feel like this."

He seemed satisfied, but she had one more thing to mention.

"I also love the garden."

"As do I. You may have noticed, but I have at least tried to care for the flowers. The grass is tedious work to keep track of, but the flowers are worth the work for me."

"You have cared for them brilliantly. I was wondering if you might like to have a few more things done, while I am helping with it?"

"I may well. What did you have in mind?"

"The glasshouse. It is large and beautiful, but I noticed that it needs some rejuvenation. The glass is old, and it has clouded a little which means not as much light will reach the plants. It will also not be as warm."

He nodded as she explained, and she knew that he agreed with her. For anyone not knowledgeable about them, they would assume it was enough light and warmth and that all was fine, but she knew better. As, it appeared, did he.

"If you wish to do anything to the garden, you have my permission. I know that you have a good knowledge of botany, and I trust that you will do the right thing. Do as you please with it."

"Oh, Morgan, thank you! I shall make it beautiful, I assure you. It is something I am rather good at. It is possibly the only thing that I am good at."

She had said the last part quietly, but he had heard her. She did not like how he was looking at her, caring and sweet as though he wanted to change her mind. He was not enamored by her, and she would never assume the contrary. He was giving her a new life, and a good one at that, and she was his duchess and possibly one day they might have children. It had been a deal, an arrangement, and nothing more, and so there wasn't any need for him to be looking at her the way that he was.

"Do you always speak so lowly of yourself?" he asked.

"It is the truth. I am not like the beautiful and elegant ladies of theton. I am a simple and plain young lady, and I need not pretend otherwise."

"If you wish only to see yourself in that way, then that is perfectly fine, but you must remember that you are a duchess now. Thetonexpects us to be exceptional."

"Yes, well, if that is what you were hoping for then you were very wrong to choose me as your wife. I have never expected to have such high standards, and I have never planned to meet them."

"I know. That is why I chose you."

She paused, eyeing him carefully.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Come now, Dorothy. Did you honestly believe that I would act the way I did with you at the ball if I did not plan for anything to come of it?"

"Did you– did you recognize me?"

"Of course I did. Your father told me that you would be a mouse, and there was only one mouse there. Everyone else had chosen something ferocious or beautiful, but you–"

"Yes, I dressed as myself. Something quiet and unassuming."

"I wish that you could see yourself properly. You should know that you are far more than you believe yourself to be."

"I am assuredly not."

"Then, if you are not daring, why did you step into a lake? Why are you out here so late at night? Why did you kiss a stranger?"

"Do you want to know why?" she asked sharply. "Do you want to know why I am suddenly acting this way? It is because I am frightened. I do not do these things because I am daring and interesting. I do it because I never know what else to do. I kissed you because I had assumed my life was over, and that I would be tied to some monster my father had deemed me worthy of. I stepped into the lake because the thought of going inside to those dark hallways was too much to bear. I am out here because–"

She stopped herself, but it was too late. He was already looking at her with both surprise and curiosity, for she had never spoken to him in such a manner. She struggled to think of a time when she had ever done so at all.

"It is nothing," she said. "Ignore me, I am tired, and I do not know what I am saying."

"No, continue, please," he encouraged. "I like this part of you. I can appreciate that you are meek and mild, but if you are able to speak so freely, then do so. I shall not be angry with you for it."

"Are you quite certain of that?"

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