Page 108 of Chasing You

We haven’t spoken about the fact that I casually told her I loved her at Heath’s place yesterday. It just slipped out, I didn’t even realize it until I was halfway to the barn. I then spent the entire time overthinking it. Wondering what she was thinking, somewhat wishing I could take it back. Not because it isn’t true, but because telling Marina I love her should’ve been a spectacle, a grand gesture, not a throwaway comment.

The guys then berated me for being such a useless goat wrangler, which I took incredibly seriously, considering the nature of that insult.

I just shake my head as Marina skips back into the living room, where she and the girls are directing Caio and Raf where to place our plastic-covered couches that arrived an hour ago.

“A little to the left,” May says.

“No, further back,” Isla adds, using her completely unclear hand gestures to direct them.

The guys shuffle around, following their instructions, but my attention drops to where my phone is buzzing on the countertop, my mother’s contact lighting up the screen.

I hit decline for the third time this week. There is already enough going on in my head as it is; I don't need to add her opinions and passive comments into the mix. Not tonight of all nights.

I slide my phone into my back pocket before looking back up, shaking off the speckle of guilt on my shoulders.

“I don’t know,” Marina pops her hip out as she looks at the couches, “I think you should swap their positions.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Raf says, huffing a sigh as he dumps the couch down where it is. “It goes there.”

“You’re going to be a father soon, Raf. Better get used to it because May will start nesting soon,” Isla says.

“Wait, what?” Leo and I say in unison. Everyone turns to face us.

May’s eyes jump between Marina and me. “You didn’t tell him?”

“It’s your news to tell.” Marina shrugs.

“You’re pregnant?” May nods, her eyes teary as she moves over to me, wrapping me in a tight hug.

“You’re gonna be an uncle,” she says against my chest, and it pulls on my heart.

I just press a small kiss to the top of her head. I’ve always seen May as a little sister, but her telling me I’ll be her baby’s uncle has me feeling a swell of emotions I didn’t expect. The thought of not being around to see that kid grow up makes me sick to my stomach.

“You are going to be an amazing mom,” I say as she pulls out of my arms.

“You think?”

“Hell yeah. No one’s gonna mess with your kid, that’s for sure. Not with you and Mr. Death stare over there.” She just snorts before Leo insists on a hug for himself.

May is pregnant. My little munchkin is going to have a munchkin of her own. It feels too soon, like she was just an outgoing and brash teenager only yesterday, but she’s not that girl anymore. She’s a strong and fierce woman, and she is going to be one hell of a mom.

May skips back over to the girls, helping them yank the plastic off the couches before they settle on the sandy plush cushions. The three of them cuddled up together while Caio and Rafael collapse on the other one.

Marina meets my gaze, firing a wink my way, which has me blushing where I stand. The effect she has on me is ridiculous, but I’m anything but ashamed of it.

When I catch Leo’s gaze again, he’s smirking over at me. “You’re not going back, are you?”

I take a long sip of my drink. “I haven’t really made the decision yet.”

It’s true, I keep putting it off. Chief Jones called me personally last night to check in on my recovery, and when I told him it was going well, he sounded more than pleased.

He didn’t hold back in letting me know how happy they were to hear that I’m nearly back to working capacity. But for the life of me, I couldn’t find it within myself to match his level of excitement, I couldn’t dredge it up from the bottom of my stomach, I just felt empty.

He looks over his shoulder to where Marina is giggling with Isla and May. “Yeah, you have, even if you’re lying to yourself about it.” He opens his arms wide. “You bought her a fucking house for Christ’s sake.”

I just roll my eyes, avoiding his gaze that seems to be able to see straight through me.

“And that look on your face when she just walked away tells me you want to fill every room in this house—and I’m sure there are a few of them—with her babies.”

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