Page 28 of Chasing You

“The colosseum. What else?”

I roll my eyes, nudging him with my elbow. “Yeah, okay, buddy. We can go with that.”

Wes has always been a ladies' man, there aren’t many places that he goes to where there aren't at least three women moving in his direction. Me? I usually watch his drink while he flirts away, and occasionally finish it for him.

“What’s that look on your face?”

I reach to grab a sour peach from the bag next to me. “What look?”

“That one,” Wesley says.

I roll my eyes, chewing on the candy. “What look, Wes?”

“The look that says something happened at your sister’s wedding that you haven’t told me about.” He’s supposed to be resting while I monitor the navigation systems, but he won’t shut up.

I sigh, not knowing what to say. “Come on, open up to Papa.”

“You’re so weird.” I reach for another peach.

I always have a bag of candy with me on my flights. I always have. I don’t know why, it’s something I did on my first few commercial flights to calm my nerves, giving me something to chew on instead of the inside of my cheeks in anxiety. Now it’sjust become a habit, I always have a bag of candy on my long-haul flights.

“Talk.” Wesley snatches the lollies from my grasp.

I blow out a breath. “My ex was there.”

“Ooooh…”

“Well, she’s not even my ex, not really, but calling what we had a fling feels wrong.”

“Is she the one that got away?” he asks.

“I’m the one that got away. Bolted really. I broke her heart, and mine.” The cockpit is quiet for a moment, as if neither of us knows what to say next.

“Why?” he finally asks.

“Huh?”

“Why did you bolt?”

I suck in a breath, I didn’t expect him to ask me that. “I, uh…”

I find my throat dry all of a sudden, not sure if I want to explain the way that I broke someone’s heart.

“We have got another thirteen hours on this flight, you may as well air it out.” I hear the way he’s playing it down, giving me the opportunity to open up to him without any pressure. But I’ve never talked to anyone about Marina, I’ve never told anyone what I did or why I did it. It’s only ever lived in my head and my heart for the last four years. Maybe I should let it out for once.

“I met Marina four years ago in Sorrento. Back when Williams stood me down over the summer, I stayed at my place over there. On one of my first nights, I went down to this bar—Bub’s pub.”

“Bub’s pub?” he asks.

“I didn’t name it, okay?”

“Alright,” Wes says. “Carry on.”

“It was the first place I came across. I just wanted one drink and to watch the game before I crashed for the night. But when I walked through the door, it felt like I’d been smacked in the face by a star.”

Just talking about it sends me straight back to that moment. But within a millisecond, those feelings of adoration swirling inmy belly are replaced with dread, with regret, and shame. That’s pretty much the pattern that repeats any time the image of Marina appears in my mind. Warmth, comfort, longing, followed by a cold, lonely disappointment in myself. And now that I’ve seen her again, that pattern is repeating more often than it used to, and those feelings have only intensified.

Wes is quiet for a while and I feel like I’ve overshared. I’ve never talked to him about my love life, but that’s mainly because it has ceased to exist since Marina. I’ve barely looked at another woman since then, so focused on the career I chose over her to think of being with anyone else.

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