Page 31 of Chasing You

“I mean I would’ve?—”

I sit up. “And then he asked me to dance with him! Like why would I dance with him?”

“Okay, Marina,” Rosie’s got her serious voice on, and it makes me wish she were in front of me instead of hours away. She lives in Rome now, so we see each other even less than we used to. “Take a breath.”

I lay back, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. I do it once more, focusing on the feeling of the oxygen filling my lungs before releasing it once again.

“What are you feeling?” she asks quietly. “I know what you went through back then, it can’t be easy to see him again.”

“It was so…conflicting, Rosie,” I say, my voice no more than a whisper. “I wanted to deck him, and simultaneously I almost wanted to say yes when he asked me to dance with him.”

“Aw, babe,” she sighs, her voice laced with sympathy.

“I went back and forth all night, my better judgement fighting with my heart. I’m upset, and I'm angry, and I'm still hurt. But god, I miss the way he used to make me feel.”

“Your relationship with him was a lot in a short period of time, I don’t blame you for feeling conflicted.”

I don’t want to be conflicted. I want to be strong in my feelings, but I don’t know how, so I just cling to the emotion that doesn’t fade. The anger.

“I keep going back to that night,” I say. “That night when I realized he really wasn’t coming back.” Rosie is quiet, letting me talk without fear of judgement. “Because as soon as I think about all the good things he used to make me feel, those memories follow straight after.”

I feel my eyes flooding with tears, my emotions spilling over the edge. “Because no matter how much I loved him, he didn’t love me enough to stay. And not even that," I add. “But he didn’teven care enough to say goodbye.” I try to steady my breathing but I can't.

“Let’s get one thing straight,” Rosie pipes up. “No matter the way thatfuckheadtreated you, you are enough Marina. You are worthy of someone who will give you the world on a silver platter.”

I screw my eyes shut, letting the tears slip down my face before I shake my head. “It’s fine,” I say, forcefully wiping them away. “As far as I know, I'm not going to see him anytime soon. So I just need to get my shit together. Maybe I'll go to one of those rage rooms or something," I say. “Let it all out.”

“Well, you know I'm only a call away if you ever need anything. And I mean anything, Marina." I nod even though she can’t see me.

“I love you so much,” I say, my voice wobbly. “And I miss you.”

“I love you too, my girl.”

I let out another breath, feeling a release of pressure after just talking to Rosalie. The smell of something burning quickly invades my nostrils.

“Oh fuck! My cookies!”

chapter thirteen

MILES

PRESENT

I sighas I flick through Netflix as I lean back on the headboard of the plush hotel bed I’m sleeping in tonight. Nothing is piquing my interest.

I throw the remote to the end of the bed and close my eyes. Sometimes I get so tired of this—spending every night like this.

My phone buzzes where it lies at the end of the bed and my sister's name lights up my screen. A flicker of feeling jumps through me at the thought of talking to her. God, just a simple phone call gets me so excited these days. How depressing is that?

I reach over and accept the call. “Sooo, how’s Australia?”

“It’s dry, and the dirt here is like…red.” Her voice is like a combination of confusion and curiosity.

A smile picks at the corner of my lip. “Is that a good or a bad thing?”

“It’s amazing! There’s so many birds here. Caio got one of those bird books and he’s been trying to identify all of their calls when we go on hikes. It’s keeping him very entertained. Me, notso much.”

I chuckle before I hear Caio on the other line. “Hey, I keep you plenty entertained in other ways,” he says to my sister.

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