Page 47 of Chasing You

“So…you don’t really seem like you’re fawning here,” Rafael cuts in. “You seem like you’re pissed off.”

“It’s a coping mechanism,” May whispers.

“Ugh,” I groan, sliding down the couch. I feel all twisted up inside, like my head and heart are fighting, but neither of them are completely clear what they’re fighting about. “I never even go to that side of town. I never even exercise.” May just looks at me with confusion swirling in her eyes. “But oh, yesterday I decided it would be the perfect day to go for a nice stroll in the forest. The forest that is right behind The Lost and Found. The place that Miles told me he was staying at, so I knew where to avoid. But what did I do? I went for a good old stroll exactly where he told me not to go, and karma decided to pay me a fun little visit in the form of a stalker.” I throw my hands up.

I hate the way that I liked it. I liked that he was on high alert, that he took me seriously, and that he was walking no more than a step behind me at all times.

“Let it all out.”

I swallow before I do exactly that and let it all out. “God, his eyes,” I say. “Were his eyes always that green?”

May nods. “Yup. His best selling point really.”

I shake my head. I sound like a moron, but May gets me. “It’s like when he’s around, my head just stops working. All I canfocus on is the way my heart is jumping out of my chest at the mere sight of him. It’s so idiotic.”

“No, it’s not?—”

“Yes, it is,” I cut May off. “I was a wreck when he left. Yeah, it was just afleeting summer romance, but it was also…more. I waited. I waited behind that bar every day for weeks, expecting him to walk through that door and look at me with those green eyes like he did every day. Until I realized he was never coming back. And now he walks through the door tomybar, and expects me to be waiting all the same?” I throw my hands over my face. “And the worst part is that I’m doing exactly that. He came to the bar the other night, and it took all of my willpower to tell him to leave. All I wanted was for him to stay, even after I said some choice words to him. Yesterday, when I ran into him, all I wanted was for him to wrap his arms around me and tell me I was okay. What kind of woman does that make me? One that lets people hurt her and then takes them right back when they say they’re sorry? When did I become a doormat?”

“Hey,” Rafael catches my attention. “You have never, ever been a doormat, and you’re not one now. Forgiving someone doesn’t make you weak, it makes you strong.”

“I don’t think I want to forgive him,” I say.

“No one is expecting you to,” he says.

“And knowing Miles,” May cuts in. “He won’t expect that either, but it won’t stop him from trying to make it better in any way he knows how.”

I forget that May knows Miles nearly as well as his own sister does, having spent so much time with him back when they were younger.

It’s weird, putting together everything I know about him, everything I learned while we were together, with the things I found out through Isla and May. It feels like I’m trying to merge two different people into one when really, the way they talk about him is exactly how I knew him. Kind, warm, giving. Butdedicated to his job above all else. It might be his only flaw, but it has a big impact.

“He is good, isn’t he?” I whisper.

She nods, a knowing look on her face. “He always has been.” I blow out a breath as I sink further down into the couch. “That still doesn’t mean you need to forgive him. He fucked up. He knows it. You have every right to protect yourself in this situation, we can even put up a poster at the bar with his face and trespassed in giant red letters.”

A laugh bubbles up from my chest. “I don’t know if even that will stop him.”

“It will,” she says more quietly this time. “I know it’s hard to believe, but I don’t think he ever wanted to hurt you.”

“It’s not hard to believe,” I say. “But that just makes it even worse.”

chapter nineteen

MILES

PRESENT

Me

Since when are there eagles in Italy?

Isla

Since always? Do you know nothing about wildlife? We even have some that come to the edge of Ruby Cove, apparently.

Me

Oh yeah, I know, they’re fucking huge.

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