Page 67 of Chasing You

She rolls her eyes before pulling her legs up onto the seat, hugging them to her chest as she looks at me, waiting. Her silence being her answer.

My heart surges, I’ve never had this chance before, I can’t fuck it up. I try my best to wade through the fog, clearing my mind as much as possible. “I fell in love with you,” I say. “And at the time,that was possibly the most inconvenient thing that could have happened to me.” I look down at my hands, playing with the edge of the blanket. I can barely face those hazel eyes. I’m half expecting her to cut me off, to tell me to stop before I get further into the story. But she just stays quiet.

“I was just moving up in the company, my boss called me a few nights before I left, telling me he wanted me to step up, that I was an integral part of their team and that they wanted to offer me more. More benefits, more flexibility, more responsibility. I had been working my ass off since I first started there, I knew that one day they would see how much value I could add, and finally they did. But then there was you.” I finally look up, and the look in her eyes has me wishing I didn't.

“You, this perfect thing that made me second-guess if I should even go back, if I should give up everything I had worked so hard for just to be with you. That summer with you, Marina it—it changed me. It sounds cliche, but I didn’t know that feeling even existed. That feeling that you were more important than anything else on this entire planet. That the universe pulled me into your orbit for a reason.” My breathing is quick, I can hear my heart rate spiking on the monitor in the corner of the room, Marina must hear it too because her eyes flick over to it before she takes a deep breath. “That’s why I left. Because you made me want to give everything up. I think if you had asked me to stay…I would’ve said yes on the spot.”

“I never even thought about asking you that,” she drops her legs down. “I knew you had your own life?—”

I try to shake my head before wincing. “But you so easily became the one thing I wanted to center my entire life around, princess.” Her eyes get glassy when the nickname slips from my tongue. “I didn’t want my own life anymore, I wanted to be in yours, and that scared the hell out of me. That’s why I left, because I was scared of the way you were changing me right before my eyes. All I’ve ever been is the successful pilot, and you made me want to forget all about that. I was a coward, I should’vesaid goodbye, but I knew if I did—” I close my eyes. “I didn’t know how to say goodbye to you. I couldn’t look into my favorite eyes and tell you it was over. I wouldn’t have done it, I would’ve told you I was coming back, and I would’ve been telling the truth. The only way I could see myself going through with it was if I made a clean break.”

I open my eyes to see hers closed, and a tear slides unhurried down her cheek.

“It was the biggest mistake of my life. I am so sorry.”

She goes to open her mouth to say something. Maybe to tell me it’s not good enough. That it changes nothing, but she stops when the echoes of hurried footsteps fill the room. I look up to see Caio, Isla, and the doctor now standing in the doorway. I meet my sister’s gaze and I’m not sure what she sees, but she puts a hand on Marina’s shoulder. “Um, maybe you should?—”

Marina frantically wipes at her tear-stained cheeks before standing. “Yeah! Sure, I’ll go. Um, I’ll see you…”

“Wait. Can you—-” She stops, searching my eyes for something I’m not sure is there. “Can you stay?” I almost cringe at how pathetic it sounds.

She stands eerily still for a second, like she wasn’t expecting that. But then she just nods, sitting back down. Isla shoots me a small smile as she and Caio stand beside Marina, the doctor pulling up the chair on the other side of the bed.

“How are you feeling, Miles?” he asks.

I groan. “Like I got body slammed by the Hulk.”

He smiles,glad he finds my pain amusing. “That’s unsurprising.” He folds back the first page on his little clipboard. “Let’s talk about your injuries, alright? You’ve suffered from multiple severe blows to the head. You’ve got a serious concussion and a strain down the left side of the neck, okay? So no driving for now—not that you’ll be going anywhere just yet.”

His tone makes me pause, and my stomach sinks. “How long am I going to be in here for, doc?”

The thought of being in this place for more than a couple ofdays sends a surge of anxiety through me. I hate hospitals. I don’t know anyone who loves them, but they make me twitchy. We had an uncle who had a surgery when Isla and I were teenagers, and I couldn't last more than ten minutes in that room before I was back outside, taking deep breaths and doing laps around the gigantic building.

“Well,” he tips his head, eyes back on his papers. “That hulk you mentioned gave you multiple fractures in your collarbone.” He stands up, displaying the X-rays they must have taken while I was unconscious up on the screen across the room. “Now the problem with that is that those fractured fragments have become displaced,” he doesn’t have to point for me to see exactly what he’s talking about. “Meaning we need to operate to repair the fractures.”

My mind goes fuzzy.Surgery. Marina’s hand finds mine, and she gives it a tight squeeze.I’m here,it says.You’ll be okay.

“We’ll have to fit a small plate and a few screws in there to stabilize it.”Good god.I’ve been hurt in a fight before, but it’s never been anything more than sore ribs and the occasional black eye, but surgery?

I can’t have surgery, I’m meant to be back at work tomorrow.

“With your consent, we can get you in theatre as soon as tomorrow if we’re lucky, maybe the day after.”

“Uh,” I close my eyes, attempting to block everything out, “what about my work?”

“Miles.” Isla’s tone is firm. I know she thinks I'm ridiculous for even asking, but it’s automatic—like a reflex.

“You won’t be back to work for a while, son. Post surgery, recovery will take around six to twelve weeks before you’re fully mobile again. Your arm is gonna be in that sling for a while.”

The feelings that roll through me are twisted. Guilt, for letting my team down, for doing something so reckless that it has left me incapable of doing my job.

Shame, for falling when I’ve just reached the top.

And relief, because the pressure to continue to rise just got put on pause.

But almost bigger than all of those is hope. Because I have more time to make things right, even if it is granted in weathered circumstances.

I tangle my fingers in between Marina’s and she lets me, and it’s the only thing that feels right in this moment. The only thing that gives me the courage to open my eyes again. I take a deep, shaky breath.

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