Page 70 of Chasing You

The buzz of his phone answers for him.

I reach for where it sits buzzing on the small table beside his bed and pass it to him, my eyes not leaving his, even to see who’s calling.

He looks down at the screen. “It’s my mom.” His eyes bounce between me and his phone. “Does she…? Has anyone…”

“Isla told them,” I say, nodding. I almost expect him to ask me to leave, but he answers, placing his phone on speaker and resting it in his lap.

“Hey, Mom,” he croaks.

“Oh my goodness, my boy! You’re awake, how do you feel?”

His eyes are closed as he answers. “The painkillers are doing their job for now.”

“Oh, honey.” Pain fills her voice. I couldn’t imagine having a child so far away and hearing that they’re hurt. I know how I felt when I heard and I was only an hour away. “And the surgery went well?”

“As smooth sailing as it gets, apparently.” He’s not exaggerating. When the surgeon visited us, he said it went well and that Miles should have a straightforward recovery so long as he does what he’s told and doesn’t test the injury.

“What’s happening with your job?”

Miles’s eyes close, like he was expecting the question, but like he’s exhausted by it.

Based on what I knew about his parents back when we first met, his career is put before everything. They had similar ideas for Isla, wanting her to follow in her dad’s footsteps and work in his accountancy firm when all she wanted to do was paint. And she’s damn amazing at it.

“Why would you put yourself in a position to be injured so badly you couldn’t work, darling?” The words may sound innocent, but I can almost taste the venom they’re laced with, the bite that is coated in sugar. “You have just earned your seat as captain. You made it, sweetheart. Why would you jeopardise it?”

“I didn’t intend to get hurt this badly, Mom. Do you think I want to be stood down for over six weeks?”

With that one comment, my head spins. It hurts me in a way I know is irrational, but the sting is still there. He doesn’t want to be here. If he hadn’t gotten pommeled by Boulder, he’d be on aflight back home—-wherever that is for him these days. He’s not staying for me, but I’m staying here at his bedside for him anyway.

“You need to come home, we can look after you?—”

“I have people here, Mom.” His gaze is locked on mine. Why is this all so confusing? So messy?

“Isla is busy with Caio and her painting, we can help you get back on your feet.” He doesn’t say he has someone else, someone who has been waiting by his side for days, just waiting for him to open his eyes. “You need to focus on what’s important here, recovering as best you can so you can get back in the captain’s seat as soon as you’re better.”

I feel sick as I sit here silently. I try to imagine my own parents in this situation. They wouldn’t even ask about work, knowing them they would organize cover for my shifts and wouldn’t speak a word of it to me. All they would care about is how I feel, and helping me get better because they love me, not because they wanted me to get back to work.

Miles stays silent, but the silence could be taken in so many different ways. Maybe he doesn’t know what to say while I’m sitting right here, maybe he’s regretting putting his phone on speaker. Maybe he just doesn’t know what to say, but I can’t sit here in the silence any longer.

I shoot out of my seat, barely looking him in the eye as I escape out the door into the brightly lit hallway. I just need to take a breath.

“Marina!” I hear his voice echo once I lean back against the wall just outside his room.

I close my eyes to the light, taking deep breaths. Emotions run through me like a twisting waterslide. The memories of that night I banged on his door until my fist bled, the pain and grief I felt that I couldn’t compare to anything else. The terror from only nights ago. The love that has haunted me for years. The yearning and desperation. The hint of warmth I feel every time he touches me. It’s all too much. He can’t just leave again.

But he can.

He could easily pack up and head home tomorrow, and I’d be left once again, feeling as empty as I did four years ago. I’d like to pretend this time would be different, that I’m stronger. But I think it would almost hurt more.

I don’t know what he was going to say to his mom just now, but I didn’t want to hear it, just in case it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. Because all I want to hear is that he will stay, even if it’s only for six weeks.

A cramp pierces my lower belly, making me wince and hold a hand to it. The stress of the last few days has made me numb all over, even to my period pains, but today my body is awake and it’s stabbing me. “Oh my god,” I mutter under my breath, trying to make my stomach as small as possible while standing.

“Marina?” Sofia’s voice floats over to me, and when I look up, I see her walking down the hall towards me. “Are you alright?”

I wave a hand. “Yeah, no, I’m fine.” I give a weak attempt at a smile. “It’s just my period cramps.”

“Come with me,” she holds a hand out. “I’ll get you some ibuprofen.”

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