Page 77 of Chasing You

Isla doesn’t hesitate before crossing the road and swinging her legs over the edge of the wall. I mirror her actions, leaving us sitting exactly how we did six months ago on my first visit to Ruby Cove.

“Talk to me. I want to understand what happened.”

I look over to see the stern, but caring look on Isla’s face, and all it does is swell my heart with pride. My baby sister’s confidence has tripled in the time she’s been with Caio. I don’t chalk it up to only him, but something about him has made my sister feel safe enough that she can feel this confident. I love it, even if she’susing said confidence to delicately interrogate me. I start at the beginning.

“About three years after I left aviation school my captain told me he wanted me to take some time off. He felt like I was overworking myself, and looking back on it, I probably was. But I was trying so hard to prove myself, I wanted to be classed as the best of the best. I wanted to be one of the people that was known in the company, and when he asked me to take a step back it felt like a punch to the gut, like what I was doing wasn’t working, but I had no choice. So I decided to take the break in Sorrento, if I had to be off, I may as well spend it in paradise, right?” I look to Isla to see her smiling a little smile at me, waiting for the shoe to drop.

“I went down to this bar one night, I picked it randomly, and as soon as I went in I saw her. I was done for as soon as she smiled at me.” I shake my head.

“I spent that summer falling in love. You know me,” I say. “I never lost focus in school, I never had a high school sweetheart, I was too focused on my grades. But I never had a chance with Marina. Never had a chance to second-guess it. I was so swept up in her from the beginning. I had been off work for over a month, just waiting to hear back from my boss about when I could go back, and when I finally did it was like I had forgotten all about it.” I dangle my feet just above the water, focusing on the splashes of seawater against my legs as I tell my sister everything.

“It was like some sick reality shock. They told me they wanted me to step up, that the company needed someone like me, and that they had given me the break so I could have some time before I was going to be flying around the world every single day, piloting on some of the biggest planes on the biggest flights. And it was like all of a sudden I remembered who I was, what I was doing there. They had just told me everything I wanted to hear, but at the same time all I could think about was Marina. I contemplated whether to even go back, or whether to stay with her in Italy. But who would I have been if I had stayed? I’m a pilot, that’s who I am. I had worked so hard for what I had, how could I giveit all up for someone I had just met? I felt like being a pilot was all I was worth, it was all I was worried about. What would I be if I wasn’t a pilot?”

Isla grabs my hand in hers. “You would still be you. You are more than your job title, Miles, no matter what our parents think,” she eyes me like she understood what I didn’t say. “You are kind and generous. You’re funny and loving. You’re an amazing brother, and I’m so glad you’re here now. You are enough as you are. Someone once told me that love shouldn’t be conditional on how successful you are.”

I tilt my head. “Caio?”

She nods. “At the time, I was so worried about being a disappointment because I wasn’t successful like you were.”

“What?”

She nods again. “Yeah, I kind of resented you because of how perfect you were, of how people looked at you, but I realized through Caio’s help that it only mattered if I was happy, if I was proud of myself. It’s kind of nice to know that you’re not as perfect as I always thought you were,” she raises her brows and I just nudge her in the side causing her to chuckle. “But seriously, Miles. It goes for you too, it only matters if you’re happy. If you’re proud of yourself.”

I lower my gaze back to the water. “I wasn’t proud of that decision, to leave her like that. But I knew that at the time I couldn’t look her in the eye and tell her I wasn’t coming back.” Isla narrows her eyes at me. “I know it’s not a good excuse, but at the time, that’s the decision I made. And I have regretted it ever since.”

She nods slowly. “So…” she hesitates. “What’s different now? Don’t get me wrong, I love having you here, but what are you going to do?”

I meet my sister's eyes again, hoping she can see that I mean every word. “I’m going to make up for it.”

I takea breath as we walk through the door to Vanessa’s bakery. My eyes catch on a pair of hazel ones as soon as I take a step inside. I don’t look away, I can’t. I don’t know what I’m searching for, maybe a sign that she’s okay that I am here. I haven’t seen her since we decided to be friends, so I have no idea how she’s feeling or what she’s thinking about me.

“There you are,” a deep voice says from somewhere to my left. “You’re late, sweetheart.”

Caio.

“Sorry,” Isla says sweetly. “We had some catching up to do.”

Caio catches my eye and nods at me, I nod back. It’s like some form of approval, understanding maybe. As I look around the table I see all of my sister’s friends gathered around it, leaving only one spare seat, and it’s right next to my girl.

Correction. Myfriend.

I warily take the seat, keeping my eyes low. I don’t know quite how I fit in with this group. If I do at all.

“How did it go at the gym?” Caio asks.

“Good,” I say. “I’m all signed up.”

“You signed up to go to the gym?” Marina asks from beside me. “Are you insane?”

I just grin, I can’t help it when she talks to me the way she used to. When she’s not guarded or wary, but open enough to talk to me straight.

“Don’t worry, mama bear,” Leo says, catching everyone’s attention. “I’m going to look after him.”

“Says the guy who watched from the sidelines while he got beaten to a pulp?” I’m surprised by her flare of protectiveness, and everyone else seems to be too because the table goes quiet.

“Okay,” Leo rears his head back, “I was pulling on Boulder’s fucking tree trunks of arms trying to get him off but I was like a fly on a horses back, he didn’t even feel me.”

One night at Caio and Isla’s apartment they told me that Leo jumped into the ring to get Boulder off me, that both he and theref had to drag him away from me. Leo never told me that after the fight.

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