Page 8 of Chasing You

I shuffled it over my head, letting it hang on my body. It was so big that anyone would think it was made for a giant; I was drowning in it. But the feeling of the soft sage fabric brushing against my thighs was comforting in a way. I opened the door, leaning up against the frame as I posed in the oversized T-shirt. “How do I look?”

“Like mine.”

I blushed as I ran over to the bed, jumping back under the sheets and settling into the warmth of his big arms. “You can’t say things like that, Miles.”

The pad of his index finger traced the outside of my arm. “Why not, princess?”

I used my finger to trace the birthmark just below his collarbone, giving my hands something to do. “It makes this feel real.”

“This feels more real than anything I’ve ever experienced.”

I forgot that shirt was even there, but it always was, buried away where I knew I wouldn’t go looking. Yet here I am.

I look up to the ceiling, searching for help. In less than a week, I’m going to see the human this shirt used to belong to, and I don’t know how in the world I’m going to be able to keep my cool, but I’m going to have to.

I couldn’t be happier for Isla and Caio. I love Caio like a brother, and in the last eight months, Isla has become like a sister to me too. I can’t wait to see them tie the knot. I’m just not so excited to see the new bride’s brother.

When I met Isla a year ago, I had no idea that she was the sister of the guy who walked away from me just over four years ago. Yes, I know the date. I’m that much of a loser. But I’ll never forget the day that I felt like my heart was torn in half.

I never talked to Isla about Miles, not until a couple of months ago when our friend Leo basically forced us to talk it out. I washappily content to pretend one of my best friends isn’t related to the guy who broke my heart.

I roll my shoulders, shoving the T-shirt as far back into the drawer as physically possible. I could just get rid of it, throw it out the window, and let the wind carry it away, but I don’t.

That little part of me that is sentimental enough to keep every Christmas card or birthday present I’ve ever been given doesn’t want to let it go, no matter what happened between us.

I grab one of my own T-shirts off its hanger and throw it over my head, not wanting to risk finding anything else hidden in my closet.

I tie my hair into a braid before lying down on my silk pillowcase. I groan as soon as my head hits the soft fabric, my mind taking me right back to a night that I haven’t dared to think about in the last four years.

My heart starts to race as I remember the way I felt when I walked into Miles’s bedroom and saw a silk pillowcase on one of the pillows on the bed. I had complained once about the way that the cotton pillow slip at my new apartment had messed up my curly hair, and the next time I saw him, he had gone out and bought me a silk one for his place. That was when I knew I was falling. I’d been trying to ignore it before then, the way I felt closer to him than I ever had to any man. But that night, that gesture, I couldn’t keep ignoring it after that. That stupid silk pillowcase was the last nail in the coffin of my feelings for Miles.

I grab my pillow and throw it over my face, screaming into it. When I move it away, I pull the finger at my ceiling.

Fuck you universe for putting me in this situation.

The worst thing about this whole situation is that I know. I’ve seen Miles twice now. And both times, I bolted, not being able to face those beautiful green eyes. But those green eyes never noticed me. Two times over the last year, I’ve been in the same room as him, and he didn’t even know it. He never saw me.

Maybe I should see it as an advantage that the wedding won’t bethe first time I see him again. The place where I notice how he’s even more attractive than he used to be all those years ago. Maybe I should be glad it won’t be a surprise for me. But I can’t stop thinking about how he will react, what he will think when Isla tells him he will be standing across the aisle from me on the biggest day of her life. I can’t help but wonder if it’s better if it throws him into a spiral, or if he doesn’t even care at all. If what we shared really meant so little to him as I thought it did when he ended things between us.

I lied, maybe the worst thing about the whole situation is that in the two times I’ve seen him, my heart has surged in my chest like no time has passed at all, like he wasn’t the one who shattered it. Both times, my mind played a highlight reel of all the amazing moments I had with him, before reality slammed into the forefront of my mind and reminded me how empty I felt in the months after he left.

Thatis definitely the worst part.

My eyes lay open in the dark, staring at the ceiling above me, wondering how I’m supposed to face him. How I’m supposed to stand there and smile, watching two of my favorite people on the happiest day of their lives and pretend that Miles isn’t standing so close to me. Closer than he’s been in years, and ignore it. But that’s the only way I’ll get through this, by ignoring him. I just hope my heart gets the memo.

chapter four

MARINA

PAST

I flingthe towel from over my shoulder onto the counter, swiping the rings of condensation off the bar top. The towel tugs against my grip as it gets stuck on the lingering stickiness coating the wooden top.

“Night, Marina!” Rosalie calls out as she pushes on the big oak door.

“Ciao! I’ll see you when I get home.”

She salutes me as she steps out into the night air. “Probably not, hopefully I’ll be sleeping like the dead by the time you’re home, and if I’m not, then please kill me.”

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