“How has the physical therapy been?” Isla asks as Marvin prowls onto her lap.
“Good,” I nod. “Actually better than I thought. I should have this thing off in the next week.”
“Miles,” Isla tips her head, a warm smile on her lips. “That’s so good to hear.”
“Yeah,” I smile. “It’ll be good to have free range of motion again, that’s for sure.” I thought a few weeks in a sling would be easy work, but it’s been more than frustrating having to do everything one-handed, especially considering it’s my left hand.
“You’ll still be careful though, won’t you?” Her eyebrows raise in an accusatory manner as she pets the cat, flattening his ears with her palm.
“Yes, Isla, I’ll be careful,” I smile as I shake my head. Sometimes she acts as if she’s the older sibling, but I don't mind it one bit, having her look out for me.
Caio is quiet as he watches me, as if he’s trying to figure something out. “Just ask whatever it is that you want to ask,” I say.
His eyes flick to Isla’s almost for confirmation before he speaks. “What are you going to do when your six weeks are up?” The question kicks me like Boulder’s foot to my ribs. “You’re trying to gain Marina’s trust, but what’s going to happen when you’re meant to go back to work? How is anything meant to work between the two of you?”
“Caio,” Isla gives him a warning glare.
“It’s fine,” I say, “he’s right. I mean I never wanted to do long distance back then, and that’s one small part of the reason that I left but…” Both of their eyes are stuck on me, hanging off my every word as they wait for an answer. “All I know is that I want Marina in my life, in whatever way she will let me. I don’t have all of the answers right now, but that is what I know for sure.”
I don’t have the answers because my head has been spinning over the last few days, this exact question tumbling around my mind like Marina’s leather pants in the laundromat.
It feels foreign to admit that I've barely thought about work since I've been here. I don’t miss it.
I miss flying, sure, being in the air. But I don’t miss the job.
I don’t miss the constant traveling, the endless bare hotel rooms. I don’t miss the empty feeling in the pit of my stomach when I fall asleep at night, and I don’t miss the rush of going from one place to another every day.
Each day I spend here, I realize just how much I like the simplicity of staying in one place. How much I like the routine I’ve created here, the warmth and comfort of my room at the Lost and Found, and the sense of community waiting around every corner. I’ve realized how much oflifeI’ve been missing out on, and I’m not sure if I want to give that up.
“Do you want to go back?” It’s like Isla can read my mind; her face is one of pure confusion when I look up at her.
That question feels perilous. I don’t know what my life would be if I didn’t go back, and not knowing is the one thing that sendsmy mind spinning. But I don’t know if I like the vision my mind is painting for me when I think about going back.
“I don’t know anymore.”
When I walk outof the elevator into the lobby of Hotel Dolce, the fresh smell hits me straight away. It’s like they put the essence of the ocean into the air vents down here.
As I walk across the marble floors, a flash of dark curls catches my eye. I stop walking, the squeak of my shoes so loud that Marina turns around from where she stands at the front desk.
She says something to whoever she was talking to before making her way towards me. She’s got half of her hair slicked back into a messy bun at the crown of her head, the rest falling around her neck. She looks like a princess.Myprincess.
“Ciao,” she says.
“Buongiorno,” I respond.
Her face lights up in surprise. “Haven’t forgotten it all then, huh?”
“It would be pretty pathetic if I forgot that out of everything.”
She smiles, turning towards the door. “True. Did you just visit the newlyweds?” I just nod as I follow her. “Sickly as ever?” she asks.
“Those two are something else,” I say, and her smile just grows.
She turns to face me but doesn’t stop moving, walking backward through the gigantic front doors. “Was she always like that in her relationships?”
I try to think about it, but realize I have no idea. “I don’t think so, but I’m ashamed to say I didn’t see her enough to answer that confidently.”
Marina’s face softens. “You’re here now.”