Page 30 of The Only Shot that Mattered

She nodded once. “He was a freshman. I…” She paused for several long seconds and stared off into space as if she was reliving a moment in time. Just when he was going to tell her she didn’t have to talk about it, she continued. “I saw him just after he died. There was so much blood.” She wiped a tear and continued to stare off into space before she blinked and looked at Damien. “I laid next to him.” A humorless laugh fell from her lips. “If it wasn’t for Cam, I would have died right next to him. Cam literally picked me up and carried me out of that school.”

Damien had a sudden burst of love for Camden Lewis. Without him, he never would have gotten the chance to meet Kenna, and his heart ached at that thought.

Pulling her back into him, he rubbed her back and held her for several long moments. When she pulled away, she offered him a soft smile as he spoke. “I’m sorry about your brother. What was his name?”

“Rashad,” she whispered. “God, I haven’t actually said his name in a long time. Thank you for listening to me.”

“Anytime.” He was glad he went with his first mind and didn’t see the pain in her eyes and stop her from talking. How painful that must have been for all those years to not talk about it, because it made others uncomfortable. He would never create that kind of space for her.

She wiped her eyes again and then brightened slightly. “After Shad died, my parents divorced. It was hard on them, having a dead son and a daughter who was afraid of her own shadow. I was really fucked up those first few years after it happened. As you’ve witnessed a few times now, I still am.”

“Nah.” He grabbed her chin, so she looked into his eyes. “You’re not fucked up. That trauma doesn’t have to shape you, you know?”

Her face scrunched up like she was processing his words. Instead of responding to him, though, she continued with her story.

“When my parents divorced, I stayed with my mom. She remarried and is happy with her life now. My dad… he left and stays on the go. He travels constantly and hasn’t settled back down. I think the idea of a family scares him. I get it, but I miss him.”

“Are you two still close?” Damien asked, brushing her hair from her face before grabbing her hand again. He soaked all thisup. He wanted to know these deep, wounded parts of her so he could understand how to love her properly.

Love. It was a word he had been scared to use with a woman in the past. It felt natural when thinking of Kenna.

She nodded. “We talk often. It’s been a few years since I’ve seen him. Ellwood is hard for him. He hates coming back home, and I don’t really leave Ellwood, so it’s been hard over the years, but he never lets me forget how much he loves me. I know he does. We all processed the trauma differently.

“It was easier for my mom to move on with her life, but she could never leave the home where my brother grew up. She’ll hold on to that piece of her past until the day she dies. Other than that, she doesn’t harp on the past. For my dad, it was easier to forget, even though he carries a lot of guilt for leaving me and my mom. I know it felt impossible for him to stay, though, which is why I could never be mad.”

“And you?”

She smiled sadly. “I can’t seem to forget. I can’t really say what’s been easier for me because all I can see is that day. I’ve pretty much allowed it to shape my life. I relive it in my dreams and when I’m awake. I’ve never really grown from it. The only thing that blocks out the pain from that day is developing video games.”

Damien’s eyebrows rose. He suddenly remembered how little he knew about Kenna’s day to day life. “No shit. Is that what you do?”

Her eyes lit up. “Best job in the world. I get to develop and play video games all day long. I’m always the employee of the month because I don’t have a life outside of my job, so I dedicate the most time out of my co-workers.”

Damien looked at her thoughtfully. “You know what my new goal is?”

“What’s that?”

“To make sure you don’t get employee of the month ever again.”

She giggled and slapped his arm. “Now, why would you wish that on me? I have a year’s long hot streak, thank you very much.”

“I’m hoping you’ll be too busy getting to know me to put in overtime at your job.”

The way he said it changed the temperature in the car. Kenna shocked him when she leaned in and pressed her lips to his. He noticed that the more time they spent together, the more comfortable she got around him. This was the version of her he wanted to know. Not the closed off shy version, but the glimpses he got of the woman who knew what she wanted and went for it. He prayed for the chance to help her grow into that version of herself.

The only reason Damien found the strength to pull away from her was because he didn’t want his driver to get a full view of everything he wanted to do to Kenna. His need for her was strong as hell, but he mustered up enough strength to wait just a little longer.

“We’re almost to my house, baby. Can you wait a few more minutes for me?” He felt Kenna practically vibrating with need, which only turned him on even more. She bit her lip and nodded her head slowly before she opened her mouth as if she was going to say something. She closed it just as quickly, causing him to tilt his head. “What’s wrong?”

Again, she chewed on her lip before exhaling a long breath. “It’s been a really long time since I’ve…”

Damien’s brows rose. He immediately knew what she was going to say, but he wanted her to be a big girl and say it. “Since you what?”

“Had sex.” She blushed. “A really long time. I basically have no experience.”

Damien’s jaw clenched as he fought for control. Slowly, he trailed a finger across her collarbone before cupping the side of her neck. “Fuck with me and you’ll get all the experience you need.”

Kenna shivered, and he grinned. After kissing her once more on her lips, he pulled her head to his chest as they tried to calm their raging hormones. It didn’t bother Damien at all that Kenna was inexperienced. Hell, he had enough experience for the both of them to last a lifetime. He was glad she told him, though, because it allowed him to be mindful of her and pay extra attention to her body. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her or traumatize her in any way. He knew he would have to take his time with her, but as long as she was willing to give it, that wouldn’t be a problem for him.

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