Page 45 of The Only Shot that Mattered

3. Their safety.

She tried conjuring up more things to be thankful for, but they didn’t come. Her old therapist would be disappointed in her. The way to help her through these mental and emotional meltdowns was to keep a positive mindset and keep in mind what she should be thankful for… blah blah blah.

Fuck her old therapist. Her exercises weren’t working, and she desperately needed something to work for her at the moment.

She laid in Damien’s large bed, in the dark, with tears flowing from her eyes. The wall had been her view for the past hour since the police left after taking their statement. Her breathing felt labored, so she made that her new mission. Even breaths in and out.

Gunshots echoed in her head, causing her to clamp her eyes shut tightly. She couldn’t grasp how this could happen to her two times in her lifetime. Why did this have to beherlife? God couldn’t think of anyone else to hand this trauma-filled life to?

The bedroom door creaked open, and Kenna heard someone shuffling into the room. Damien had been beside himself when he learned what happened. He tried to do his best to comfortboth Kenna and Skylar, but Kenna still had adrenaline coursing through her, so she seemed fine while they were questioned. Plus, in her daze, she’d forgotten to drop Alanzo off. While they waited for Annalise to get there, Alanzo clung to her, so she was okay with Damien tending to his daughter.

Then Jendaya got there, and it broke Kenna’s heart seeing how they fretted over Skylar. Not because that wasn’t what they were supposed to do, but because the scene reminded her too much of her as a teenager and how her parents hovered over her for a very long time. They treated her like a delicate doll that might shatter at any moment, and sometimes it felt suffocating.

Kenna wished she could somehow erase all the trauma this incident would cause for Skylar and Alanzo, but she knew that was unavoidable.

Annalise had been inconsolable when she arrived. Kenna could tell instantly that she didn’t blame Kenna, but Kenna blamed herself. The guilt weighed down on her, and by the time Annalise and Alanzo left, all she wanted to do was lay in bed and try to forget. Forgetting would be impossible. She knew that, but that was what she’d been trying to do for the past hour.

The bed dipped, but Kenna still didn’t move. When a hand squeezed her shoulder, she jumped slightly but still didn’t turn around or speak.

“Kenna, I’m so sorry, babe.”

Cam.

She hadn’t expected to hear his voice. She sat up and faced him before diving into his arms. If anyone could understand, it was Cam. There were no more silent tears left in her, it seemed. Now, loud sobs tore from her and rocked her body. Cam’s arms squeezed her tightly.

They stayed like that for a very long time. Kenna’s cries finally quieted down, and she pulled away before lying backdown, but this time, she looked up at him while he gazed down at her, pushing her hair from her face.

“What do you need?” he muttered, tears floating in his eyes as he looked at her in pity.

She didn’t respond, so Cam simply took off his hoodie and laid down beside her.

Kenna had just started to doze off when the door opened again. This time, she knew exactly who it was. She felt him without even opening her eyes. She felt Cam sit up and then the bed lifted slightly as he got up.

“She isn’t talking much. It was like this for a little while after… the last time.” Kenna felt a heavy hand on her leg. When Cam spoke again, she heard the crack in his voice. “My girl is strong. She’s going to be okay. Just make sure she’s eating and taking care of her.Take care of her.”

He stressed that last part, and those words almost made her cry again.

“I got you.” Damien’s voice sounded heavy. She heard footsteps retreating and then the sound of the door closing before shuffling noises sounded beside the bed. A moment later, Kenna felt the bed dip again, and she opened her eyes just as Damien pulled her closer to him. All he said was one word, almost as if he was pleading with her. “Baby.”

Fresh tears filled her eyes, but she didn’t want to focus on herself. Anything but herself. “Where is Skylar? How’s she doing?”

“Jendaya is still here. She’s going to stay the night. She’s helping Sky get cleaned up right now.” Kenna remained silent as she continued staring at him. She was glad Skylar had such a hands on mother. It would help. “I don’t know how to help you, baby. I called Cam, hoping that would help, but it doesn’t seem like it did. Do you want me to call someone else? Your parents?”

Kenna shook her head slightly but remained silent. She would prefer to hold off from telling her parents for as long as possible. She remembered the way they looked at her all those years ago. Her mom sometimes still looked at her that way, and her father pretty much always did.

Finally, she conjured up the courage to speak up for herself. She found the simple words to let Damien know exactly what she needed.

“I just need you,” she whispered, “but not at the expense of Skylar.”

She said the last part sternly because that was really important to her, but she recognized that the literal only time she felt she could relax and like nothing would touch her was when Damien was in the room. She needed him, and it was time she admitted that out loud.

Damien kissed her forehead and held her close in response. Kenna’s breathing slowed as they lay there together in her own personal haven.

Long minutes ticked by, and just when Kenna was almost asleep again, the door opened. She felt the bed shift slightly as Damien turned to see who it was, then his voice filled her ears.

“You okay, baby? Where’s your mama?”

Kenna scooted over, trying to put some respectable space between her and Damien, but Damien pulled her back to him. She huffed, sat up, and looked at Skylar, who stood at the edge of the bed. The younger girl had red puffy eyes and a messy bun dominating the top of her head. She smelled like strawberries and trembled slightly as she shifted from foot to foot. Kenna instantly felt her heart shatter when she looked at her.

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