Page 28 of Hot Rucking Canadian

His lamp’s illumination barely lit the space. And eventually we’d turned it off. Although fumbling with condoms in the dark had been fun, I felt less confident now. He could see me. All of me. Even with his blinds closed, a lot of light filled the room.No hiding in the shadows. One of the reasons I chose dark bars and why I kept my apartment so shrouded. If guys couldn’t see me properly, maybe that made it easier for them.

“Hey.” He advanced quickly to my side, sitting by the bed and grasping my hand. “Whatever you’re thinking, I want you to stop.”

I blinked.

Gently, he extricated Mamba from her grasp of my hair. He put her on the floor.

She meowed her displeasure, but still headed out to the living room.

“I can see it. In your eyes. You’re hurting. I don’t know why, and I don’t have the right to ask, but I want to take away that pain. If I don’t miss the mark, we had a pretty good time last night.”

“We did.”

“Then why not continue today? I know you don’t work, and I’m completely free. I want to watch the replay of last night’s game—”

“And teach me rugby?”

He grinned wickedly. “Among other things. I’m a very good instructor and big on positive reinforcement.” He squeezed my hand. “What were you thinking about?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I hadn’t wanted to know. The truth is I want to know everything about you. Your past, your present, your dreams for the future…all of it.”

I snickered. “You don’t want to know my dreams for the future, Mallow. Because I don’t have any. Well, staying alive would be good. Retiring with a bit of money in the bank twenty years from now would be okay as well.”

“Those are great dreams.” He telegraphed his movement as he raised his hand to my cheek.

Slowly, I nodded.

He stroked his hand down my cheek.

I nearly broke on the spot. No one—absolutely no one—had ever touched my face. It just didn’t happen. Even if people weren’t repulsed, they would never dare.

“Do you…?” He cleared his throat, even as he continued to caress me.

“Do I what?” I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch.

The bed shifted as he moved closer.

I leaned in. Where I expected a kiss, though, he pressed his lips to the scar.

Then, as the pain in my chest expanded to the point where I almost couldn’t take anymore, he pulled me into a bear hug.

Into a Mallow hug.

The big bear who was just a teddy bear inside.

We stayed that way for a long time.

Finally, I opened my eyes and pulled back. “What were you going to ask?”

“Have you…” He cleared his throat. “I don’t want you to think I’m not incredibly respectful and in awe of what—”

“Just spit it out.”

“Do you want…I don’t know…a safer job? Somewhere you’re not putting your life at risk every day?”

I bit my lip.

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