Page 43 of Forbidden Love

“Nah, that nigga don’t do indirect…if he sent niggas our way everybody would have been?—”

“Dead…All these niggas would have been left stanking. That nigga wants me to come holler at him.” My jaws clenched as I moved to the driver side of my car.

“He about to see about me right now, directly.”

I already put two and two together weeks ago when I couldn’t get in contact with Yeremy that Casper probably knew. I wasn’t rushing to get to that nigga to have a talk about shit just yet sinceI had a lot on my plate. I’ve been tempted to pop up over at his house anyway behind Yeremy. She thought she could just play me to the left like we didn’t bond. I don’t know why she made me feel the way that she did.

All I knew was the feeling that she gave to me when she was around was better than smoking weed. Yeremy had this aura to her that was unmatched. For the first time, she actually had me missing someone other than my mom and dad.

Chapter 23

Sol

“Isee you got your appetite back.” I glanced over at Fatz just as he bit down into the honey bun from earlier.

“Yeah, all a nigga needed was just a little action to snap me out of the bullshit that was weighing me down.” He chuckled with half of the honey bun in his mouth.

“I’ll give you a pass right now, but you know I don’t allow eating in the whip.” I frowned, trying to tune out Fatz’ heavy smacking.

“I want you to get some help. That shit you said before the shooting not normal.” I switched lanes and glanced over at him.

Fatz sighed roughly then pressed the button to let his window down. He sparked up a blunt and looked out the window.

“I told you, I’m good now. That shit come in waves,” he uttered.

“Yeah, I know…I’ve been watching you,” I stated seriously.

“Everybody thinks the muscle is what runs these fucked up streets. It’s not our fists, guns, or the threats we make, Fatz.” I paused, cracking my neck from side to side.

“It’s the brain, your brain is the throne. Everything Raft built, the respect, fear, and empire that he left behind…came from up here.” I tapped the side of my temple.

“The real power is always in the mind…without it? You’re nothing but a loaded gun in a shaking hand.” I looked over at his side profile.

He didn’t respond, but I saw the way his jaw clenched. Fatz’ lip twitched as if he wanted to protest against what I was saying.

“You got to protect your mind, like you protect me and your momma.” I nudged him with my arm.

“You lose your mind Fatz, everything falls with it. Doesn’t matter how tough you are, how many niggas out here that fear you. If your brain turns on you, that’s a war you won’t fuckin’ win. So I’m not saying this shit to tell you to man up or be strong. Fuck all that tough nigga talk. I’m telling you to get help, real help, Fatz. A therapist, a doctor…somebody who knows how to untangle what’s choking you inside. That shit not weakness, it’s strategy and survival. It’s the kind of power most men are too scared to reach for. Ain’t shit to be ashamed of either. You know I don’t waste my breath with nobody. I love you, you my blood, and I want what’s best for you. You could have been come to me with all of this.” I shook my head.

“I didn’t want to be no bur?—”

“You ain’t a burden, so dead that shit. I ain’t got that much on my plate to the point where I can’t help you figure this shit out. It’s been us together, Fatz. Raft died, you was the main nigga to help me cope…I helped you cope. I know that his death was hard on you, especially since y’all started to bond late. We all we got, which is why I don’t want to subject us to this street shit forever like him,” I admitted.

“I’m gonna fight. I got good insurance, I just been lazy not caring to set any appointments.” He rolled his window all the way down.

“I spazzed out seeing my momma in the trap house. Killed them niggas and?—”

“You had them take her to a nutty facility. I don’t blame you for keeping hope alive. We only get one momma, but you can’t allow her to navigate your moods and emotions. Don’t lose faith in her, Fatz. But don’t be surprised either when she keeps disappointing you. Somethings you just have to expect from certain people, no matter how much you love them.”

“You right.”

The rest of the drive to Casper’s warehouse was dead quiet. Fatz was lost in his own thoughts as my fingers drummed against the leather steering wheel. Fatz broke the silence to tell me that one of our men texted in code that the two bodies at the rec center was some young niggas not even eighteen yet that ended up getting capped.

There was only one man in this state that moved like that. Casper moved swift and well calculated like he was performing surgery any time he put the word out for something to be done. His way of sending a message was with bodies turning up dead. Today was a warning.

There was no other reason besides me crossing the line in his eyes why he did what he did.

“I hope I don’t got to end up capping this old nigga.” Fatz spat as I pulled in front of the warehouse.

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